How to date

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This is a repost from Reddit because nobody replied, also sorry it’s long :

So I'm 18.. I've gone on dating apps and stuff and I'm not unattractive I guess because I get a lot of people swipe up on my profile. However I don't know if it's because I'm too picky or something, Im attracted to people's minds, like sure I can think they're cute or something but i don't care much at all. I ended up talking to this guy for a few days and enjoyed it but I sort of mirror them and then put myself into the friendzone on accident? If I didn't mirror them I worry that I come off too dry, too intense or too "errm acktually "(because that's how I am lol) to be fair, I haven't really ever gotten along with my age group well but I don't want to go after older guys because then I think about like "gross why are you talking to an 18 year old as like a 22 year old" though the age gap is small the experience difference is there.

I don't really like doing dating s**t online because I'm more genuine to my nature in person. I just can't talk to people in person though(if that makes sense).. in my mind dating is like an elevator pitch: sell yourself to them within a short period of time then do the deeper stuff later. But if I can hardly walk up to someone how am I going to elevator pitch myself + not be disingenuous to myself?

Do I just go to conventions like idk what I'm doing.. save it for when I'm older and working a big girl job(because then I'll be able to go slower). I just feel like I'm falling behind, all of my friends have had boyfriends and it's like they're in a club away from me.

Hurting my chances more now I don't see a point in short term relationships so if I feel like the other party is just there for a good time not a long time I'm leaving.. what's the point of dating if you don't intend on marrying someone. Just be friends at that point.

Married autists and women successful in dating who have been in a similar situation as me: what do I do? I don't want to be alone forever

Day program! !!

That is how I met my partner!

I'm not sure the experience gap is always as wide as you're assuming. If someone strikes your fancy, filtering them out over an assumption might mean missing out on someone who's actually compatible.

Ask in the archeology sub section.

You're only 18 (I think). You must know a few guys you find attractive. Choose one and ask him if he wants to go on a walk. Ask him things about himself that you don't know, and talk to him about yourself. If he doesn't have a girlfriend, he probably wants one.

I guess when I was young I met prospective partners by asking them questions about themselves. If they were attracted to me, I didn't need to sell myself to them, just show interest.

Hello 3uhuu3,

As a dad of 3 my advise will most certainly be dated but for what it's worth: different leagues, age-gaps, ... etc should not matter, if you vibe, you vibe. period
and never be afraid to show your true self, going along and mirroring because they might loose interest. I almost lost my marriage because of me doing this, so definitely not recommend. Follow you preferences and stay engaged socially in your hobbies/topics that interest you and the people you find sharing these interests can be/become if not potential partners, at least people you share an interest and a friendly conversation with.

Kind regards,
Kada

At the risk of repeating myself, you must have male acquaintances you find attractive. Could you imagine yourself in a relationship with any of them? Probably not because you may have known those people for years and never thought of them "that way". But on this site you will often see people advise others to become friends with prospective romantic partners before dating them. You could try reaching out to such a person. I would recommend a walk in a park or similar environment and just having a "getting to know you better " conversation. This should be much easier than sitting across a table from someone and interviewing them.

I would want to know how you feel about intimacy. Are you ace? Would you want to make out with somebody without a long-term commitment? For most people your age, I think the making out usually comes before the long-term commitment.

In your OP you seem to suggest that you don't see any point to dating someone you don't consider a marriage prospect. That is really sort of extreme at your age. You don't need to marry the first guy who gets to see you naked. You have a few years to explore and find out what works for you (for which having some experience definitely helps).

If you are in fact asexual you should say so because your objectives will then be different.

Hey girl! First of all: you're 18 years old, which is a fantastic age to go and explore who you are. What are your values, your wishes, your boundaries, etc? You seem to already know what kind of relationship you don't want, which is great.
Don't feel pressured into having a relationship because your friends are in one.

If you do meet someone who you feel a connection with, do ask them something simple, like going out for a coffee or a walk or to a gallery, depending on your interests. Nothing too intense, nothing too long. If things go well, you can always go for a longer date another time. This way, there's not so much pressure on either of you, as you're 'just meeting for a cuppa'. Everyone likes to be asked questions, as it shows an interest. So: do ask questions, make sure that they're open questions, so you won't get just a 'yes' or a 'no'. If he's interested in you, he will ask you questions back.

Don't hurry finding someone, you're 18 and have seas - even oceans - of time.

Good luck!

Apps ruined dating online for everybody. Now, nobody can meet each other anymore unless there is a mutual match.