Having a Relationship With a NT

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Why can they understand you? I'm trying to make my boyfriend understand me, he may not understand everything, but he should try to know some of the symptoms & traits cuz he is in a relationship with an Autism woman.

Tbh if he doesn’t put in much effort at all I’d reconsider some stuff.. because autism is a big part of your life and why wouldn’t he want to know about his partner..

Though I’ve never been in a relationship that’s just how I’d think about it.

Even if they try, for many of them it's like learning Mandarin and they were born in Brooklyn...

Me and my NT partner have a very strong rapport. The only thing he doesn't always understand is my noise sensitivity issues with the loud upstairs neighbours. He believes I should just ignore it, which is out of the question for me. But other NTs who don't even live there seem to understand how I feel about it, so I think this is just a grey area that my partner can't empathise with, as is normal for all humans. We can't understand everyone's demons all the time. Such is life.

That seems to be a much narrower thing, tied to misophonia.

NT neighbours who also have misophonia triggered by the upstairs neighbours get it.
Your bf doesn't, because he doesn't seem to have misophonia, or if he does, it has different triggers.

Maybe he needs a shitbeast that won't stop barking to move in, or a bunch of loud scooters, or some boy racers revving their engines to get it.

What gets to him is the trash being put in the right bins outside. He gets upset when he sees trash bags sitting around the bins and not being put in them, so he often goes outside to tidy up. Personally the trash doesn't bother me, as in I don't really even notice and can ignore it. It's noise that bothers me more than trash. I tell him this, and he sort of understands, but then the next minute he goes back to not being able to put himself in my shoes regarding the noisy neighbours.

So for him, it's visual triggers rather than audio ones?

Maybe. I don't have many visual triggers, except for seeing clothing tags hanging out, but oddly we can both relate to that, as he's the first person I have ever met who also gets bothered by seeing clothing tags.