Men who wants to be the girl in the relationship

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I am bisexual guy. I just discovered my interest in men recently. I am happy to have discovered that I'm bisexual because there is one thing that has always made feel like I'll never be able to find a girlfriend.

The thing is that I'm very sensitive and emotional. I don't know if its asperger, but when I'm with somebody that I like, I start acting like a little child and I really like to act innocently. But that's not something that most girls find attractive. I always get crushes with guy/girls that are very caring with me. They tend to be older, strong, mature and have ambitions. I don't feel any attraction to the typical younger girl who has very few ambitions. The problem is that most girls wants a men who play the annoying courtship role. I'd much prefer to have the girl role. I'd love to have a girl who leads me, a girl who protects me, a girl who will let me cry on her shoulder. I feel strong insecurity with dating girls because of this. I'm always afraid that I'll never be able to find a girl who will like my sensitive/child-like side and will be okay with a more balanced or even reversed gender-role relationship.

Am I ever going to find a girlfriend? Is there anybody else (guys or girls) who feels the same way as me?

Hmmm - this is a similar them to my 'Role Reversed World' thread, except that you've taken things much further (I don't want to be 'the girl' in a relationship exactly, I just wish there wasn't so much emphasis on men's status/income, etc.)

I'll be honest, I think you're going to struggle to find a tomboyish woman who likes girlie men. In my experience straight tomboyish women want men who are even more masculine than them (there may be rare exceptions, of course). If you want to be 'the girl' in the couple you're probably better off looking for a man.

I'd love to be the girl at times, but I'd still like a chance of being the guy sometimes. I have a manly pride to inflate.






(Dirty-minded people, shoosh.)

I wonder if dating bisexual girls wouldn't give me better chances? (Considering that some of them might take the more masculine role in their relationship with girls)

I wonder if I am androgyne... It would make sense.

you are exactly what i want in a man. i'm somewhat tomboyish (i guess androgynous is more accurate) and i'd much rather be the 'boy' in the relationship. being able to protect someone, support him, and nurture him is what i yearn to do. of course, i think i'm pretty much in the same situation as you - it seems impossible to find an effeminate (straight) guy who wants to play the role of the girl. it's hard getting normal guys, too, being less feminine in nature.

i was once best friends with a very effeminate guy, and i was actually surprised that he looked for very feminine women. despite that, he very much so played the 'girl' role in our relationship, especially since i was a bit older and could mentor him. he always called me first, he came to me with his emotional problems, and he essentially followed me around like a puppy. it was pretty awesome actually, even as just a friendship (i was never romantically interested in him because i'm pretty sure he's actually gay).

anyway, point being, there are definitely girls out there who want to play the boy role - and it's good to see that there are boys who want to play the girl role! it gives me hope i'll find one some day haha. until then, i'll date men that i'm constantly competing with to take the reigns!

I'm sort of like this... I don't need to be protected or nurtured or anything like that. I can take care of myself physically, I can handle myself in a fight, and I generally have male interests anyway. But I do need someone to love me and at least give two s**ts about me... life is just not worth it otherwise.

Hey i dont have Asperger's or anything i dont think i do but i signed up just for this forum because i completely agree with everything im a guy who plays the ususal feminine role in the relationship and im a guy. I just wanna say you should have hope and there is women out there that want to hold you and love emotional guys that love cuddling. Im only 15 but im very mature for my age and I have a beautiful gorgeous 18 year old girlfriend that plays the more masculine role in the relationship. Im all cuddly and mushy and shes all aggressive and sexy and loves holding me, its perfect. So dont worry your not the only one out there, and there is also girls that will love you that wanna play the more typical masculine role. Btw you may be bisexual but i have a feeling you may not be. Of course its just my idea you definetly could be bisexual but i thought i was gay for a long time because i wanted someone to take care of me and hold me and in actuality it was just because i wanted to play the more feminine role in the relationship. I was actually much more attracted to women even though i was convincing myself i was attracted to men. So you never now if you were born loving women your probably straight just a feminine straight guy. you never know.

I am very sensitive & emotional & I played the girl role in my last relationship(she was an Aspie too; I met her here on WP) but it didn't work out because she took almost complete charge in our relationship & things were very one-sided until she became withdrawn & then dumped me. I'm very emotionally supportive & I think it's one of my biggest strengths in a relationship so I think a woman who's on the same level as me or someone who needs me to take charge sometimes would be my ideal but I would NOT conform to the typical guy role & a partner who conform to the typical girl role may not work well for me either.