Such high standards

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Not sure where you got that number of okc.

Also, there are way more fake women profiles than fake men profiles, every mod who worked on a dating site would tell you that.

would you please leave me alone. I have stated a bunch of times I am trying to improve my life, yet you ignore that and continue to assume I'm not to support your grand stature.

the reality is not everyone can be successful image a world where everyone was. how would you describe success when everyone has achieved the same things. you can't tell me why red is better then blue if everything is red. theres nothing to compare to. without people who don't become great success stories theres nothing to compare to for those who do.

most of this planet isn't filled with successful people.

I ignore the go to the gym, it'll solve all your problems, kept getting buff fixes everything, it'll magicaly make you face look better and get you a better job.

or we could look at reality where millions if not billions of people work there asses off, try and try and try, and die without ever achieving success. LUCK is the most important part of this stuff. two people could do all the same things, person 1 lives in south america, person 2 lives in europe,. person 1 doesn't become a success, while person 2 does. but both did all the same things, but only one was lucky to be at the right place at the right time. you could say well he can just move, but you don't know where and when such a chance might open, so what do you suggest that people just move constantly around the world bankrupting themselves in pursuit of that chance.

it takes both work and luck, with just work alone you might not anywhere, with just luck alone you might get somewhere, both combined is success.

so fing tired of working and trying and stressing myself out to be told by people like you I'm not trying, this just adds to my depression and makes me want to quit as it never seems to be good enough so whats the point and trying.

no ones entitled to anything. being born doesn't entitle a person to food and water.

Exactly.

And there you go again with your 'leave me alone', now to another user. Like this person is bullying you, while she is simple giving her opinion on your dysfunctional behaviour. You are appearantly very bad at handling feedback.

Everyone just stop badgering Sly.
He has stated that he is trying to improve his life: what else can he do? He can't magically become instantly successful and happy just because it bothers you that he isn't.

And acting as though depression is a character flaw is disgusting behaviour.

How you define success? If you define it as having excess money(like billionaires do)then persistence is certainly necessary, but it is not sufficient. In my country, there really is no easy way to make a lot of money despite the hype that's fed to people in movies, TV, internet banter, and self-help books(which you mentioned earlier and that stuff is really nothing but snake oil sold by shameless self-promoters). Not everyone who works hard and persists is going to succeed in life by whatever metric you use. Like it or lump it, there are things that you cannot control which sometimes work in your favor and sometimes work against you.


But instead of trying in vain to make others feel guilty about not liking you because you don't meet their standards, try to find people whose standards you *do* live up to.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

I got it from one of the site admins(becauseitowns). And FYI, yes there are plenty of fake female profiles but I can tell you from personal experience that okcupid works. Or at least it works for me.

I don't think anyone is badgering him. People are giving him feedback to the things he's posted.

He's stated several times in multiple threads that he's unwilling to change himself and doesn't believe he should have to in order to attract someone. But then he continues to complain that women aren't attracted to him. It's getting a bit old. That's why I've suggested he try doing something differently in order to improve himself and make himself more attractive to others.

No one suggested he magically become instantly successful and happy. It takes time & hard work to improve yourself. I know, I've done it. About 4 years ago I was 242lbs with a 38" waist and equally unhappy as I was unhealthy. Today I'm about 200lbs with a 32" waist and fairly strongly built. Most of the physical gains have been made over the last 2 years vs. spread over 4 years. But yeah, I fully comprehend that it takes time & effort to improve one's self and don't expect anyone to change over night. The only thing that's a bit bothersome is reading the same complaints over and over and no posts about doing anything differently in order to change anything he's not happy with.

Acting as though depression is a character flaw is disgusting behaviour? No, I'd say it's pretty normal. I certainly wouldn't list depression as a "pro" or an attractive trait. To me, it's rather unattractive and I wouldn't want to spend much time around someone who's clinically depressed. Most people don't enjoy that. And I'm no hypocrite about it, either. When I was horrendously depressed a couple years ago I intentionally avoided all but one of my friends for many months, and then avoided the last one for a few months, too. I did so so as not to burden them with having to be subjected to me in that state. I tried to only visit/see any of them as Needed, and tried to be as positive as possible when I did see them. Also, the last friend to join the avoidance list was also avoiding me at that time, too. We talked about it more than a year after the fact when I was in a much better state of mind, and in his total honesty he told me he was doing his own avoiding of me back then because he didn't want to be around someone in such a negative state of mind. I understood and respected that, as well as appreciated him sharing it. I'm sharing this because it's a real world example of someone else who also views depression as an undesirable trait in others that they don't want to be around.

There is a difference between a character flaw and an unattractive trait.

Call it whatever you want. It's still not something most people desire in a potential partner.

Yes, but thats not the same thing. While depression is definitely not attractive, it is not a weakness either. That is, its not a flaw of character.

Depression is NOT a character flaw. It is a temporary mental illness. Fortunately, it is treatable. Most of the time it responds to medication and sly, if you are depressed you need to get psychiatric treatment for it! You are correct that it isn't pleasant to be around someone who is really depressed and being in that state of mind creates massive inhibitions against making the necessary changes in ones life.

Exactly.

There's nothing wrong with the way Sly looks. He has to find a way, perhaps with the assistance of therapy, to improve his outlook. He also must invite a chick to his house for a barbecue.

One of the biggest road blocks to self-improvement is not the fact that it requires a lot of hard work, but the fact that one must not expect immediate results. You need a way to pass the time between when you start working on yourself and when you reach your goals.