Enough of the 'Damn women rejected me' threads please

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Eldanesh
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14 Oct 2010, 9:31 pm

Crawliiing in myyy roooobessss
thesse woooounds requiiire elixiiiiir :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Seriously though, I'd think AS females would have more to complain about, at least the males have common gender associated stereotypes we can hide in 8)



Last edited by Eldanesh on 14 Oct 2010, 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ToadOfSteel
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14 Oct 2010, 9:37 pm

nostromo wrote:
Could that be a theory of mind (lack of) thing?


Yeah I could see that being a cause... I for one work my butt off trying to be as in tune with other people's feelings because I don't want to be labelled a souless monster with no empathy...



MissConstrue
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14 Oct 2010, 9:37 pm

Eldanesh wrote:
Crawliiing in myyy roooobessss
thesse woooounds requiiire elixiiiiir :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Seriously though, I'd thing AS females would have more to complain about, at least the males have common gender associated stereotypes we can hide in 8)


You don't have to but you could thing any female else...as if being female is so bad.


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happymusic
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14 Oct 2010, 9:40 pm

nostromo wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
In a nutshell, before lashing out at women because you feel entitled, ask yourself some questions and give yourself some honest answers.


I think there's a lot of inflated ego that needs to be popped around here. The idea I'm getting is that a lot of men are just blaming the women for the failure because god forbid the problem lies within themselves. It's something I went through as a teenager myself. I had a rather "high" view of myself as a kid too. And when I was rejected the first time, I wandered between wanting to blame her and wanting to kill myself... for about 3 years. Now, I know for a fact that it is me that is defective.

Could that be a theory of mind (lack of) thing?

Yeah, that combined with immaturity is like lady repellent.

MissConstrue wrote:
Women aren't suppose to attracted to the opposite sex and if it is...it's only for their money or so I've been told.

Yeah, this. Being told that over and over made me stay out of the adult forum for a while. I've almost always made more than my husband, just like my mother and most of the people I've known socially (I can think of 5 off the top of my head). The women my age that I know tend to be the higher earners while the guys stay home providing childcare and do freelance stuff. It isn't the 50s any more. That kind of talk smacks of inexperience.

I think some of the misconceptions might come from not really knowing many women well and not having had a lasting deep relationship with one, because the guys over 35/40 tend less toward those thought patterns.



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14 Oct 2010, 9:41 pm

Narocos300 wrote:
Who cares about rejection, get in there and Grab it while you still can, Unless you live on the pressipass of life you won't ever find out what Will be.

You've got to go out and ask a Pretty girl out once in awhile, and if it ends in rejection.

Yesterday I managed to pluck up the courage to Ask my first Girl out on a date.

I'm sick of waiting around, I've got to chase after them If I want a date.

Other wise I'll end up like Steve Carrell :twisted:

Well, plenty of other fish in the sea :P

love this attitude! positive thinking and persistence will get you very far!


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Eldanesh
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14 Oct 2010, 9:43 pm

Ninja edit--> Go!



nthach
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15 Oct 2010, 12:01 am

Greendragon wrote:

She points in your direction with her leg, foot or shoulders.
She leans toward you while talking.
She plays with or tosses her hair.
She fidgets with a piece of jewelry (like an earring) or strokes the stem of her glass.
She keeps her eyes locked on you while she talks or drinks.
She mirrors your body movements (for example, if you put your hand on the table, she quickly does the same).
She smiling when you check her out.

And there's the problem - body language in which us aspies CANNOT read AT ALL. In a perfect world, women would be direct to us verbally.



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15 Oct 2010, 12:14 am

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
I've seen a lot of posts lately with the attitude that women somehow owe it to men to go out with them and more, and if a woman turns a guy down, she is a "b***h", is being unreasonable, has the wrong attitude, etc.

All you dudes...you know who you are...please look at yourselves instead of blaming women for not happening to desire YOU. It's not a woman's responsibility to go out with you just because you fulfil some entry level criteria such as not being ugly, buying her stuff or earning a certain amount. It's her life and she has every right to say 'no', whether it's because she'd prefer to stay single right now, or because you are a fair haired Caucasian and she prefers dark skinned men, or whatever. It's her right. Go find someone who DOES want you, like everyone else.

How hard is it to accept that someone choosing you as a partner is a privilege, not an entitlement? Seriously. If I ask a guy out I don't cop an entitled attitude about it, and I don't blame him if he says no. He has no obligation to like me just because I'm not actually deformed or mentally subnormal and I have breasts. He has EVERY right not to desire me. Maybe he prefers being single. Maybe my body language tells him I'm agitated, over-serious, and aggressive (seems to be my default state, LOL). IT DOESN'T MATTER. It's HIS right to reject me and MY job to go find myself a guy who DOES want to be with me. How hard is it to show this basic respect for another human's choices and boundaries??

In a nutshell, before lashing out at women because you feel entitled, ask yourself some questions and give yourself some honest answers.


I totally agree with you. Nothing is ever free. We are not entitled to s**t.



TheMinnesotaIceman
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15 Oct 2010, 12:52 am

nthach wrote:
I'll just wait for them to approach me.


I have never, ever seen a woman approach a man first. I've heard of cases (probably apocryphal) of this happening, but they are very few and very far between. I'll believe it when I see it, and probably not even then.



Craig28
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15 Oct 2010, 12:57 am

The only way I could ever get with someone is if it is done manually - through an introduction by family or friends.

So far, both camps are making a very serious mess out of the whole thing, while most of them don't give a damm.

And people say that I should behave nicely! GET OUT. :twisted:



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15 Oct 2010, 1:03 am

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
How hard is it to accept that someone choosing you as a partner is a privilege, not an entitlement?

It is hard for people (or even perhaps society) who pressure us to get partners to understand that as well, it seems. I mean, I only have found this argument here on WP actually, other people would tend to say, "you can't get a partner you are a loser" rather. Which seems that argument wouldn't be much consistent with the social pressure.


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Last edited by greenblue on 15 Oct 2010, 1:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

nostromo
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15 Oct 2010, 1:04 am

TheMinnesotaIceman wrote:
nthach wrote:
I'll just wait for them to approach me.


I have never, ever seen a woman approach a man first. I've heard of cases (probably apocryphal) of this happening, but they are very few and very far between. I'll believe it when I see it, and probably not even then.

No it does happen for sure.
But of more interest I have talked to female friends who have thought about doing so in a particular case but not gone through with it. And why?..Fear of rejection and perceived possible embarrassment just like us men.



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15 Oct 2010, 1:09 am

RICKY5 wrote:
Nothing is ever free. We are not entitled to sh**.


funny how those who are entitled to the least amount of it end up getting the lions' share of it.



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15 Oct 2010, 1:29 am

auntblabby wrote:
RICKY5 wrote:
Nothing is ever free. We are not entitled to sh**.


funny how those who are entitled to the least amount of it end up getting the lions' share of it.


No one is entitled to s**t. If you want to get a mate, you have to convince someone you're worth mating with, and we all have a -20 racial on the check. (wooo dnd terms put to rl) If you're good at selling yourself, you get dates, if you're not, you don't.

All you can really do is increase your odds either through sheer volume of attempts (go to a bar and play the rejection game. The guy who can get shot down the most times in a night wins. Sounds depressing, but statistically you'll get a few numbers outta it)

or start looking for potential mates who seem to be having dating issues. There are plenty of folks, NT or not, that have a hard time getting dates who are perfectly attractive, nice, financially stable people, but arn't the life of the party, or don't dress like a slut, or are simply overshadowed by the hotter people around them. .



nthach
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15 Oct 2010, 2:02 am

OK, looks like I need to swallow my pride and try my hand at the dating game. But how and where and who should I look for? One of my biggest holdbacks is to how to start the conversation.



ducky9924
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15 Oct 2010, 2:12 am

nthach wrote:
OK, looks like I need to swallow my pride and try my hand at the dating game. But how and where and who should I look for? One of my biggest holdbacks is to how to start the conversation.


I'm having that issue with simply finding a group of friends. It's pretty much me, my folks, the cats and my BF right now.