Any girl would like a guy who...

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It's his own business who or what he wants in a relational partner. I don't begrudge anyone that. Even I've had my preferences--and insisted on them.

Yeah, the waste product isn't something I can really handle. You just do it because you HAVE to. It's a chore, like any other chore.

Expensive? Well, that depends. You want to plan for having children so that it doesn't catch you off guard. Believe me, I've made many mistakes and false assumptions when it came to that.

What you do is make sure your wife is insured by her employer or that you can help her get coverage. Before you even TALK about having kids, stay on insurance at least a year. They will hit you with "pre-existing condition" if you don't wait. At that point it DOES get expensive. Also, make sure you get on the phone IMMEDIATELY with an insurance rep and extend coverage to the child. Found that out the hard way with my daughter. The wife's insurance covered HER stay in the hospital but NOTHING in the NICU when they transported her to the university hospital. Those things significantly cut cost, though you'll want to be prepared to come up with roughly $10,000 to cover anything you don't expect. If we could have just taken our daughter home, we wouldn't have had any problems, but unfortunately for us it just wasn't that simple.

But AFTER you get home and settled, kids really aren't that much different than pets. You don't even really notice them or think of your life as really that different. It's like, ok, they poop, so we gotta have wipes and diapers. Potty training? Training pants, several changes of bedsheets, and lots of laundry detergent. Just add it to the grocery bill. Once you get used to it, it just becomes part of your routine. They will EVENTUALLY start using the potty, which I'm told is like getting a pay raise, and you just need a little more TP than you did before.

Probably the most nightmarish thing for many parents is sleeping patterns. The way we handled this was we alternated nights. That way, one of us always was able to get a full night's uninterrupted sleep. We kept our newborns with us the first three months, moved them to their own bed after that, and baby monitors were off by 6 months. Beyond that, we didn't really care if they were sleeping all night or not! They learned to just deal until morning quite quickly, and it has paid off. I know parents who have 5-year-olds who STILL can't kick them out of their rooms. Our kids will wake us up generally between 5 and 6 in the morning. Mom and I grudgingly agreed that this is acceptable. But unless someone has woken up puking at 1am, we just turn them right around and send them back to their own rooms! I'm about to start training them to get milk from the fridge and eat dry cereal and watch morning shows until we wake up and start getting ready for work. 3 year olds and 2 year olds CAN do that.

Beyond that, they're just like having roommates. We NEVER do the "monkey talk" thing, and I have sensitive knees. I think forcing them to speak like us has helped them develop their vocabulary probably a lot faster than many kids. There are a lot of women out there with what I call "perfect mommy syndrome" who ask us what our secret is. I tell them: "Tell me how you potty trained your kids, and I'll tell you how we got ours to be so smart!" The plain fact is we encourage our kids to be independent. Respectful, but independent. We allow them to get in fights and resolve their own disputes in their own ways, intervening any time blood is involved. They're just really good at taking care of themselves and each other.

You'll also find they understand you better than anyone else. I can't explain why that is, but my son can straighten me out better than any expensive therapist can. I don't get how, but it's true!

Anyway, like I said--it's each individual person's own business as to what criteria he or she sets for a mate, as is the decision to procreate. I'm just saying that kids are really easy to adapt to.

Yes. Fridgilla the Ice Queen.

Sheldon Cooper plays theremin? I haven't seen that guy in a while. Is that something they showed at some point? Very cool.

And exactly my point--I don't mean to sound judgmental about not having kids, nor was that a generalization that ALL women feel they must have kids OR ELSE. But it does often happen that, for lack of better explanation, something just clicks and older women get baby fever. I've seen it happen plenty a time--sworn anti-baby women suddenly feeling their lives will end if they don't. It just happens. But if that's something that you cannot have or do not want for whatever reason, that is your business. That's why I suggested finding someone with Turner's to date. They almost always cannot conceive, especially not naturally and without a donor egg, and even have difficulty bringing pregnancy to term. Babies are simply out of the conversation.

I don't mean to stick my nose where it isn't wanted, but sounds like you two might be a match. The OP never said that the woman had to be exactly like him. He seems to just be saying that anyone who wants to do these kinds of things will have to keep that away from him so he doesn't have to deal with it. You can read novels, for instance, but don't bother him with the details of the latest trashy southern vampire story. Or you can go to movies with your girl friends and get wasted on margaritas at the local Mexican joint. Just don't drag him out to movie-and-fajitas night. You could even be religious as long as you keep your mouth shut about it and not wake him up on Sunday to, say, go to church. Listen to music, but keep earbuds in. You get the idea.

It would bother me if a girl didn;t like kids or animals. Not WANTING kids would be fine, but I wouldn't want a girl who disliked kids really. And no woman who dislikes animals would like me

Me and my pets, we come as a package

I'd hate to say it OP but I don't think you're going to find a woman who wants to be any more than friends with you. You're too bland and self-absorbed. But then, I could be wrong.

Too many turn offs in my opinion, I mean do you like anything? Better to concerntrate on positives.

Probably NOT. Even when buying a packet of cookies in the supermarket I think about whether I REALLY need it. That is how I WORK. I guess I am in the same stage regarding L&D?

You are right. The AngelRho in L&D clearly knows how to read

I only like the first two qualities on that list.

lol As opposed to any other AngelRho?

I have trouble with taking things TOO literally and I'm particularly sensitive to things that can't be taken any other way. My PPR veracity is tied to something I feel best makes sense literally, although I have found that this only works if you have a grasp on proper hermeneutics for textual interpretation. You can't take something literally if you don't know what it literally means!

Anyway--judging from the way you write it seems we have at least that much in common.

The thing I like about posting in L&D that I can't get in PPR is that issues related to love are almost always irrational. Love defies reason. Love and human attraction is logic's chaos theory. PPR people are Vulcans. L&D is like the chill-out room off the main dance floor. We can be HUMAN here.

Don't get me wrong--I enjoy PPR. It's also kinda like the "Fight Club" of WP. I just accept that not all decisions are based in "pure logic." I'm also not judging you. I also don't think a lot of people here really MEAN to judge you. They are just assuming that what you want is a carbon-copy of yourself because the kinds of conversations we have here generally go that direction. That's not something I read into your post, but I'm also used to seeing a lot of your posts elsewhere.

That's why I said you and starygrrl might really hit it off if you got together irl. Not meaning to brag, but I like to think I've had a little bit of success in the area of L&D. I'm not much of a matchmaker, but you never know...

The thing I've found about relationships is that you don't really NEED anybody. Now, I do believe that human beings are connected in such a way that if you have big goals, you do need other people to work with to make those things happen. But you don't "need" a love interest. I don't "need" my wife. If you go strictly on needs, there's no real reason why I'm married to her. She amounts to little more than a roommate who just happens to sleep in the same bed I sleep in.

People say all the time that they want a partner to supply their "needs," but this isn't really true. All you need is protection from the elements, food, and water. We are in relationships because we have some kind of desire to be with those people that goes beyond simple sexual attraction. For me, this is the defining characteristic of "love." If all I wanted was to stay warm at night, any old gal would do. But I don't want any old gal. My affection is specific, and the mutual desire we have for each other extends beyond simple bed-warming to life-partnership. We decided to reproduce, so now we have an even more important common goal that makes staying together crucial.

You'll never find anyone with that attitude. That's way too demanding and everyone is going to be a little different from you and have their own flaws. Nobody is perfect. If you really hate all those things then you are much better off being alone like others have said.

Even with the understanding that he wouldn't kick a girl out of bed for enjoying a romantic comedy or reading trashy pulp fiction or, for goodness sakes, liking puppies and kittens... even with that understanding... how great of a relationship can this be if his stance is, "I hate everything you like so we're cool as long as you shut up about it around me"? If a woman can't be herself, she's not going to find value in the relationship. Women are kinda like people that way.

Look, I've been in relationships with people whom I had little to nothing in common. It sucks. It feels like a waste of time and in many ways it is a waste of time. My husband and I have quite a bit in common and we challenge each other intellectually. I can always make him laugh and he's able to hold a conversation with me about current events, politics and religion. We have hobbies and interests in common. We have a mutual respect for each other. Even when I'm not interested in something he's interested in (Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica would be two that immediately spring to mind), he doesn't have to keep it away from me.

So, in a way, your list does state that you are looking for a woman who would agree with the majority, if not all, of your list.

Indeed

Good god man (or Good Science!)! You know Terry Pratchett (who you've never read apparently since you only read techncial papers) in his books talked about people always being slightly drunk to help themselves cope with the world and those who were terminally sober and miserable. I think grabbing a drink every so often would probably make you happier. Being happier helps you attract a mate. If you don't loosen up you'll probably find yourself alone. I'm not trying to be critical of you each to his own but I can't imagine being terribly happy with such a rigid set of living requirements.

Too much negativity. Doesn't like this and don't like that. What is it that you do like? Do you mind if the other person likes those things or do you want to have that in common? No two people are going to share all the same interests. There are some you share and some you don't. You have to tolerate some amount of difference. You can't very well expect to find an opposite sex clone of yourself.

Most of those things would probably not be dealbreakers for most people. People can get over not liking the same TV shows or music, or having some interests the other person doesn't. Smoking and drinking can be big issues, but usually only for the non-smoker/drinker not wanting to tolerate it; in other word, it's not an issue unless you make it one. What can be a big deal are the lifestyle and values issues. Not wanting kids is a big one. A girl looking for a guy that doesn't want kids isn't that hard, but there just aren't that many girls that are going to say "never having kids" until they're much older and either already have some, or are past the point of caring. The biological parenting instinct seems to be much stronger in women. Pets are really a minor inconvenience even if you don't like them. I'd recommend learning a bit of patience and tolerance. Unless you're allergic, probably want to think hard about making this into a big issue.