People Saying you are Attractive but Know You Are Not

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It's actually good when your family calls you fat. Because a lot of other people won't and say you're "fine" just to try and be polite.

IMO beauty and attractiveness are NOT the same thing.

However 'beautiful' (or not) a person may be they can appear more 'attractive' by using some form of non verbal communication.
e.g. smiling, other expressions, body language etc.

Family members consider you beautiful but they are not looking for the 'attractiveness' component that potential partners are looking for.

Maybe you could call it an element of 'sexiness'.
It seems to me that the more sexy someone feels the sexy they will appear. It is less about other people and more about you.

Though some people will be able to fake it and drop into character like an actor at social functions.

If you have dropped into the sexiness zone then a lot of the NVC will come naturally.

Some people can stop a guy in his tracks with just look and they don't have to be super models.

So, the question is. Do ya feel sexeh?

Beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder.

It's a bell curve thing, some people are seen as hot by 90% of the population.

Studies even showed that even babies can detect the mainstream beauty.

OP, you don't know that no one has ever had a crush on you. Sometimes people keep those things to themselves and sometimes (speaking from personal experience here) people with Asperger's are not great at picking up on subtle cues that indicate someone likes us. Up until my mid-20's, I was diagnosed with AS and started making an effort to learn more about 'reading people,' I honestly thought that all men were either pigs/womanizers or only interested in me as friends.

Why? The only cues I was able to pick up on were the very obvious and aggressive types of cues, like when an Alpha-type would honk his horn and shout something at me out of his car window while I was out jogging. On the other hand, if a well-mannered, decent guy at work or school made an attempt to actually get to know me in a polite way, any subtle nuances that would have shown me he had an interest went 'Woosh!' right over my head. In hindsight, it's kind of embarassing to think about how clueless I was and how I must have come across to people.

The thing with beauty/attractiveness is that not only is it very subjective, as some others have already pointed out, but about 90% of it stems from how you feel about yourself regarding things that have nothing at all to do with your physical self. I had issues with eating disorders when I was younger (and that still try to crop up from time-to-time) and, although my body and appearance were the topic of that conversation, I now recognize that the subtexts had a lot more to do with emotional issues, like a need for control and giving structure to a chaotic world that made no sense to me.

With viewing yourself and how you look, your physical self and emotional self get all jumbled up and your mind can play tricks on you. I can recall getting out of the shower and looking at myself in the mirror when I was at my thinnest and seeing how much my ribs, etc, were showing and not thinking, "Oh, I'm getting too thin," but rather, "God, I have such big ribs!" A few people in my family expressed concern at the time and were right to do so, but I was so caught up in my own head that I didn't believe a word they were saying. I'm not sure, but it could be that the way your family's compliments aren't resonating with you could be a similar thing? I mean, in the sense that maybe you just aren't in a good place in your life to receive what they are saying?

These days, I try to take care of myself and stay healthy. I also do what I need to appearance-wise to play the part I need to at work, with a little hair and makeup effort and dressing decently, so I can be taken seriously. But, I try my best to leave it at that and focus on other things in life. My advice (and of course you can take it or leave it, OP) is to just focus on doing things you enjoy and achieving goals that will help you grow as a person, like maybe graduating from college if you're a student or pursuing interests you're really passionate about, etc. The more you affirm yourself in positive ways and build your confidence in other areas, the more other things will fall into place, like feeling attractive and maybe attracting someone else to you. I know it might sound sappy or cliche, but I really believe that.

When you love someone that person becomes beatiful to your eyes. When I knew my husband I did not like him. Not a bit. I even told him so. But then I fell for him and I started telling him how "beautiful" he was to me. He really was. I started noticing things I did not notice before, like his beautiful smile, his bright eyes, his lovely hair. That's love. You should feel fortunate. Your family loves you very much. I also find my daughter specialky beautiful when she is concentrated doing something she loves. She shines. Probably the same happens to you.