Getting a girlfriend for the first time.

Page 2 of 3 [ 35 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next

Joined: 5 Sep 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 7

07 Sep 2011, 1:56 pm

I'm not looking for a long term relationship. I just don't have any idea how to talk to girls in a way like I'm flirting with them. I have never asked a girl out in my life because I still don't have big enough "balls" to do it. Boy do i wish i could pick up the women like Charlie on two and a half men. I consider myself pretty good looking, i dress very well, its just that im not a NT. I'd just like to be able to tell if girls like me or not. People say that they give hints when they like you, I've never noticed any. :cry:

ArtemisHolmes
Deinonychus

Joined: 19 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 312
Location: Illinois

07 Sep 2011, 6:33 pm

ineedagirlfriend wrote:

Hi, I am a 16 year old male from Pittsburgh PA. I have never had a girlfriend in my entire life, nor kissed a member of the opposite sex. I'm 99% sure i have aspergers and i officially have ADHD. I really want some tips from fellow aspies about how you manage. I am great looking, but I'm afraid of getting my picture taken. Some of my interests include computers, hacking, IT, programming. I started to really want a girlfriend when i was about 11 and ever since i have been depressed due to the fact that I'm mentally unable to socialize with girls.

-Thanks

Why can't you be a girl and the thread be about 'Getting a boyfriend for the first time'? Seriously. I'm 15 and a half and live near Pittsburgh, haven't had a girlfriend or kissed, 99% sure I have Aspergers, don't have ADHD, and... Okay, maybe I'm not great looking. Just not bad looking (An Aspie guy with confidence he's not ugly?! The horror!). Although the hacking part puts me off a bit, I'm interested in programming.

Meh. We'll all get there, bud. And looking at your other post, yeah, living in the same district the whole time would really effect how people see you. I'm moving next summer, so possibly that will change things. Maybe.

_________________
I think you guys will like my blog.

http://modestyking.wordpress.com/

Koan
Snowy Owl

Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 151
Location: United States

08 Sep 2011, 1:26 am

True. How many real relationships do your friends have? I bet they aren't as deeply meaningful as people make them out to be.

ineedagirlfriend
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 5 Sep 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 7

08 Sep 2011, 5:46 pm

Quote:

True. How many real relationships do your friends have? I bet they aren't as deeply meaningful as people make them out to be.

Well, ALL of my friends have attention from women, weather it be a girlfriend, serious relationship, or just have girls talk to them. I'm the omly one that has none of that JUST because I'm not NT.

MR20
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 945

08 Sep 2011, 5:51 pm

ineedagirlfriend wrote:

Quote:

True. How many real relationships do your friends have? I bet they aren't as deeply meaningful as people make them out to be.

Well, ALL of my friends have attention from women, weather it be a girlfriend, serious relationship, or just have girls talk to them. I'm the omly one that has none of that JUST because I'm not NT.

Yeah I know how it feels for girls/women to fawn over the "friends" that you hang out with only to ignore and shun you. It's f*****g infuriating.

Adam82
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 29 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 615

08 Sep 2011, 5:57 pm

SadAspy wrote:

28 here and never had a girlfriend. Probably been rejected over 100 times now. I wouldn't start panicking yet.

Yeah, 16 is very young to be worrying about it. I turned 29 the other day, and I have never had one. The OP still has time.

Koan
Snowy Owl

Joined: 13 Aug 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 151
Location: United States

08 Sep 2011, 5:57 pm

It does suck. I've been in that situation my whole life basically. Then one day I realized that... even people who seem to never even glance your direction can be very interested in you. So you never know. Plus, those quieter, shy girls tend to be the ones you'd want to have a real relationship with.

Adam82
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 29 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 615

08 Sep 2011, 5:59 pm

MR20 wrote:

ineedagirlfriend wrote:

Quote:

True. How many real relationships do your friends have? I bet they aren't as deeply meaningful as people make them out to be.

Well, ALL of my friends have attention from women, weather it be a girlfriend, serious relationship, or just have girls talk to them. I'm the omly one that has none of that JUST because I'm not NT.

Yeah I know how it feels for girls/women to fawn over the "friends" that you hang out with only to ignore and shun you. It's f***ing infuriating.

It's very depressing, yes. When someone you like is talking to all the other males around, and ignoring you. It makes you feel like scum. Don't worry, women snub and ignore me too.

ineedagirlfriend
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 5 Sep 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 7

08 Sep 2011, 7:01 pm

Quote:

Yeah I know how it feels for girls/women to fawn over the "friends" that you hang out with only to ignore and shun you. It's f***ing infuriating.

For me its more than infuriating, I sometimes want to beat the sh*t out of my so called "friend" because he gets the hottest girl in the school and i ask him how he works his magic and he just says "f**k off!". I mean seriously it's not my fault I'm autistic. I happen to have an IQ of 123 and I'm no dumb*ss, but when it comes to women my IQ is 10, so i think to myself sarcastically "thanks for the advice!". :evil:

swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

09 Sep 2011, 10:47 am

orchidee wrote:

Focus on one girl at a time and make her feel special: that's my advice.

Don't focus on her too long! Some girls are way too idealistic about "their type".

Melpomene
Raven
Raven

Joined: 5 Aug 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 119
Location: Veldhoven, The Netherlands

09 Sep 2011, 1:52 pm

ineedagirlfriend wrote:

I know the feeling all too well, even as a female. I have a high IQ, am autistic, have the social graces of a toddler... yet still, I'm in a relationship. It took me 22 years to find somebody who would treat me well instead of wanting to hook up and then dump me. Whatever you do, don't push it. You wouldn't jump into a wild sea if you couldn't swim. Learn to swim, test some different waters, then go rock diving. Ask your friends if you could go on a group date with some of their female friends, then try to interact with the girls. Take it from there. Being comfortable around members of the opposite sex is something that needs to be learned in us Aspies. Just remember to not hang around people that make you feel bad. If a girl overlooks you for your friends, you can leave her.

ineedagirlfriend
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 5 Sep 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 7

09 Sep 2011, 7:39 pm

It's a shame. All of the girls in my school only date total douchebags. I have a few socially awkward buddies who have had 0-1 girlfriends in their lives who are the nicest people you would ever think of meeting. The girls just laugh at them and leave them be. Is that the secret to getting women? being a total douche? idk :?:

swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

09 Sep 2011, 8:02 pm

ineedagirlfriend wrote:

Yes, actually. Being a total douche shows that you don't care what she thinks of you which is typically hot. BUT, this strategy usually works better with the hotter women, because it's different from what most others guys are doing, which is usually flattering them. The results tend to be less predictable among 'ordinary women' and it seems standard courtship techniques are more appropriate there.

Last edited by swbluto on 10 Sep 2011, 9:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Chummy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Dec 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,343
Location: Location

10 Sep 2011, 7:28 am

step 1: stop looking for a GF. don't just have a GF just for the sake of having one. When the right girl comes you'll know.

swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

10 Sep 2011, 9:30 am

ineedagirlfriend wrote:

He doesn't want additional competition. :wink:

ineedagirlfriend
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 5 Sep 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 7

10 Sep 2011, 5:25 pm

Quote:

step 1: stop looking for a GF. don't just have a GF just for the sake of having one. When the right girl comes you'll know.

Well, its not that easy because I will always look because i have no other option. I do not want a GF just to have one, I always feel lonely and i want somebody that will alleviate those feelings. It's not the matter of when the right girl comes, its a matter of when ANY girl comes(thats not ugly). Not a single girl around my age ever showed a liking towards me. I've always been the outcast and i always will be. I have no self esteem or confidence to even THINK of talking to a girl. F**k that, I've officially given up trying from now on. From this day forward I now accept the fact that i most likely will be a virgin for the rest of my life and i will never receive any female attention. I f**king hate my god-damn life and I have nobody to f**king talk to accept the people on this f*****g forum.

Page 2 of 3 [ 35 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next

Jump to:

Getting a girlfriend for the first time. Post Reply New Topic

Getting a girlfriend for the first time.