Why do I only attract mean, crude people?

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No, but my voice has this pecular affectless tone similar to some women who have done hard core drugs (and I've never done illegal drugs). There are some women, for example with no teeth whose vocal tone makes you wonder if they will sleep with any guy they meet or just generally be untrustworthy. I'm almost positive my voice alone gives off that vibe

This is all girls' issue and not just AS thing.

Stop relating everything to AS.

The thing is that most average normal guys, simply want an average normal girl as girlfriend. And the ratio between average guys and average girls, are pretty much the same, so there is a good chance for every normal, average guy, to find a normal, average women.

If they recognize after meeting you or talking with you, that you dont fit as normal average girl, and they simply dont know you for not so a long time, then its pretty easy for many to let you loose. So you are only someone they know from some meetings, but there are no deep feelings until now, and chances are high that they will meet another more fitting girl again. So its hard to break up with someone if you already have some deep emotions, but the misadvnatage of loosing a person you hardly know yet, is not that great in response to the advantage of having the chance to get an "average, normal girlfriend" for the rest of his life.

From the rest that stays, many simply know from experiences that whyever they rarely have a chance to find a "normal average girlfriend" because of them being aggressive, or abusive, .... A normal average girlfriend, can let such people go immediately, because there is a good chance to find an normal, average guy instead. Often these kind of people are aggressive or abusive against you, because they think themselves that "they would have deserved better then something like you" but they are forced to meet "such girls" because the normal, average girls.... *please insert random female conspiracy theory*. So they dont truly want you as a girlfriend and think bad of you, but want to stay with you because of having no chances with the girls they would want. For some men, for sex, they dont care to have a normal, average girlfriend, they simply want someone with a hole and are sufficient. Doesnt mean that they must be abusive or whatever, but they normally dont plan to present you someday to their parents as their next daughter in law. But you are simply a nice thing to have, until they meet the woman, they want to present their parents.

Simply try to watch yourself and do give people a try. Because there are also some rare, really, really nice ones out there. No perfect guys, but nice guys that are able to appreciate you the way you are. But if they want to be abusive or aggressive, end it immidiatley. As long as you feel comfortable with someone, everythings ok. Dont make it for yourself harder then it already is by trying to find "a perfect guy". But at least give yourself the condition to find a guy, that respects you as the person that you are and is not only "tolerating" you the way you are, and that you feel comfortable with. And do the same for him.

If someone gets aggressive or abusive...that can be helped. By a professional therapist. You are none. Dont believe if someone tells you to change for you, and excuses his behavuiour every time again and again. Because telling words doesnt change a thing and is very easy. If someone wants to change, he needs to do that by actions, and that means seeking professional help, supports groups... But you are not responsible for someone doing that, that can a person only do himself.

TJR, a lack of affectations and lack or vocal intonation are two different things. Though affectations are the coin of the social realm, at the same time they are held in contempt. So, provided you can avoid presenting yourself as lacking affectations through naivete or innocence, but rather through deliberate choice, you may be able to present yourself as intriguing to men; you would be considered refreshingly different. Men tend to be very attracted to women who are mysterious and exotic. Since affectations don't fit naturally with aspies, lack of affectations could become a very positive part of your identity, depending on how you handle the matter.

Intonation is different insofar as this is not something that comes natural to aspies. But in my case it is something I have managed to develop, and it may be possible for you to do so as well. Learning intonations is one of the few reasons I would ever counsel anybody to watch TV or films, but both provide good avenues for learning intonations. What I did after practicing a bit to myself was to begin to practice intonations on the telephone, which I found far easier to do than face-to-face. But after much practice, intonation became second nature to me, and in this respect I think I'm now almost indistinguishable from most NT's, even if my words don't always match societies norms. I would add that just because I was able to learn intonation doesn't mean that you could. But you don't know unless you try.

So you're not a crack ho, but you're afraid that you come off as a crack ho?

I'm not relating everything to AS. If my problem were simply an all girls' issue, then at least a small percentage of guys that stick around would not be grotesquely rude or pose major safety issues. Many women without AS faces these issues, of course but not to such an extreme I don't think..

I don't know how I come across, but I think I come across as untrustworthy.

You kinda had me laughing wit that description, sorry

If you're a nice person, no one will bother your voice. Besides, you might dislike your voice, others might just love it