My thoughts on why you don't have a girlfriend.

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I didn't know that fairies have tails.

Lets examine the first part:

"You have to have a good relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with other men."

If you don't love yourself, why would you expect anyone else to love you? If you can't be with yourself, if you are unhappy with you're own company, why would anyone want to share you're company?

The second part:

"You have to have a relationship with other men before you can have a relationship with a woman."

is a little more complicated. Let's think about what a woman finds attractive in a man. The simplest answer is that women are attracted to what is masculine. However, that begs the question, what is masculine? How does a man become masculine? The best way to answer this question is to look at men who are attractive to women and determine what they have in common. The answer, easily obtainable by the casual observer, is that women are attracted to leadership. Men who have proven themselves the equals or the superiors to other men are the ones who get the girls. The high school quarterback, the lead singer of a local band, the successful businessman, etc. So if you want to attract women, get yourself a like-minded circle of male friends, and become the alpha male of the group.

For a more in-depth understanding of the last paragraph, I highly recommend "The Way of Men" by Jack Donovan. He doesn't really have anything new or profound to say about masculinity or the nature of men. However, for a young man still struggling to understand himself and women (as I was not long ago), I think he has a lot of very helpful insight to offer in this book.

By the way, this is a male oriented thread. A thread by men, for men. That's not to say that women's opinions on various things should not be considered. On the contrary, I think society has a lot to gain from the wisdom offered by women. However, on the subject of attraction, I am convinced that women are clueless about what turns them on, and that no man should take a woman's advice on this topic seriously. What they think they want and respond to are two completely different things. I personally could care less about what some lady thinks women are attracted to.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mansplaining

In the "why you should stop" category: You're making extreeeeeemely broad statements that do not apply to many, many, many relationships, women, men, etc.

Its because were losers and are at the bottom of the barrel that's why.

Thanks for the lengthy attempt at explaining, but it fails to convince me on either point.

1) Other people are not me. They love plenty of things I don't love.
2) You somehow went from relationship with men to being an alpha male.

This is so annoyingly banal. Does anyone in this universe have an original opinion anymore? You're repeating a bunch of stuff that's often mentioned but never backed up with evidence. Plenty of dissatisfied and unhappy people manage to get dates. Non "macho" males also get dates. Non "alpha" people get dates. It depends on the individuals involved having compatible personalities. Not everyone is attracted to the same thing.

If people susceptible to depression and loneliness were unable to reproduce, we'd probably live in a boring world. Sometimes great things are motivated by pain and dissatisfaction. People who are completely "happy with themselves" are complacent and lead dull lives. People don't become accomplished at things because they want to be "alpha". Not everything is a means to some banal end. You don't become a lead singer in band to "get women". You do it because that's what you're passionate about.

to be fair, i recently watched a documentary about pulp, and jarvis cocker said the reason he started a band was to get women, because he didn't think they would want him otherwise. it's possible he was being ironic--but i thought i should mention it nonetheless.

I've known people who have used their guitar playing to try to pick up girls. I used to want to learn to play guitar for that very reason.

This is way overly simplistic.

Having a relationship with yourself is a basic start. The first step. A fundamental sanity check requirement.
Then... Having a relationship with others of the same sex, sure will prove you are capable of having and keeping friends. I would call this an essential requirement.

But a relationship with the opposite sex is way, WAY more bigger than your cute quote indicates.
It takes constant effort, it takes constant vigilance, it takes constant patience, it takes a lot of time, and a lot of money.
And that's before we start getting into the psychology of the other partner, or the 5 human needs of the other partner.
A relationship is not only a career, there is an entire industry built up around helping people have a wholesome relationship with their favourite partner. That should tell you it aint simple.

I think what it generally means is "Have good social skills - If you don't have them, get them".

Of course if you hate yourself such as I do, people don't want to be around you/a moping mess. You have to enjoy life before people want to enjoy it with you unless they're some sort of predator who targets victims.

Be friends with other men - this shows good social skills

Stop reading Harry Potter

Actually, it's because I don't want one.

It's simple to get a chick.

2cool4skool

There's a wikipedia article on that? Holy crap!

True. I'm an emotional mess right now and I don't want to anything other than to talk to others about my problems. I know others aren't looking for that so I wont attract many people. I don't enjoy lige right now so people cannot enjoy it with me.

I think it is the reason a lot of people on here are single.