Why I can't get women?
Are you setting your sights only on the most attractive and popular girls around you? If so, then that may be where your problem starts. Those fluff-brained cheerleader types with perfect figures and their daddy's accountants on speed-dial can pick and choose from a world full of dim-witted slobbering brutes for their fiance of the week.
Set your sights on women that are more like you - intelligent, but maybe not perfect in some way. Perhaps if you start taking lessons in American Sign Language, you might meet a woman of similar capability who would enjoy spending time with a real gentleman.
Looks do matter but they shouldn't be enough to be completely won over by a girl because this "dream girl" of yours you've been crushing over for months or even years is not even compatible with you personality wise. Or maybe she's secretly an evil alien cyborg from Mars posed as an attractive female sent to annihilate humanity?
And no, not all attractive popular girls are stuck up and snobs. They may just appear to be, but I know that looks can be deceiving so I always give people the benefit of the doubt. It's the overly friendly people I don't trust.
I like people who are different because i'm different. Different can mean many different things.
I find it attractive in women who have very similar interests as me. Like environmental, down to earth personalities, being a ethical friendly person and that etc. I am very passionate in environmental stuff. That why I am doing this postgraduate degree. I don't follow the women in the mainstream like what you think I am doing. I don't like alcohol driven women, cheerleader type of bodies and that. I prefer who have a like minded interest as me and have great body image, down to earth attitudes and eco-friendly.
I thought of this is a great way to be together for life because imagine living together we have no issues about destroying the planet that caused by mainstream issues. I am member of several environmental groups here in SEQ and Brisbane including my uni. We still get along talking about stuff and hang out.
My counselor told me that why being friends first is because getting know each others before you move on with is a way to be. Why ask a girl out straight away from being a stranger? I tried this before, even before I asked my counselor about it. Women say I am freaking them out because they kept saying 'we just met!", 'sorry I don't know you' etc etc. So why you say it like a friend zoned in other way around?
Maybe I am having a bad luck life in both ways? Probably never ever get love ever?
The type of thing NTs (and counselors) miss in regards to Aspies is that when they say "be friends first", it is implicit (through body language) that they are not really on the friend path. Aspies don't naturally get things through to typical women, so they need to make sure they are not friend-zoned in other ways.
And you will creep stranger women out if you just ask them for a date without having shown interest in them before. Just imagine that a random, stranger woman comes up to you and asks you for a date, without any warning or showing interest before. I'd sure be creeped out by that, and would have said "no way", if I'd been able to say anything.
So I suspect that your problem is that you are too direct with strangers, and fail to let "friends" know that you are not really looking for a friend, but rather a relationship.
Just like many other Aspies, you need to learn to identify interest in girls, and use that to be able to "hit" on those that are interested rather than creeping random girls out.
Very true. It can be learned too: I can usually tell if a girl is interested in me. Of course, that skill is not redundant since I am in a committed relationship.
Part of the problem may be is you want to be with an NT. That is probably not realistic. Ever hear the phrase two of kind in poker? I tried and tried to make friends with NTs in where I live and always failed, but when I started hanging out with Aspies I felt happier. You probably just need to befriend more Aspies and find a aspie woman instead perhaps.
I don't have any troubles making friends with NTs. They act and treat me in same way as they treat other people in general.
It does makes a big difference between that and making girlfriends. I don't determine myself showing interest with them unless I kept talking to them because it some sign of being interested?
You sir are living proof of what ive been saying all along.
That it doesnt matter how happy you are in life, it doesnt matter if you have a great job or studying for a degree and have great hobbies and in lots of groups to meet people and look really good or look normal and already have a lot of friends.
These things still don't mean you will get a relationship and find love.
The mainstream advice is that you need to be happy with life and yourself and to live life and to have hobbies and be hardworking in school/college/work and have lots of good friends so you can meet people.
But the advice doesn't always work and you are proof.
Exactly you are a happy passionate person, lots of friends, and working towards your degree and Im sure if you posted a picture of yourself you would like fine maybe average a 5/10 or better but there would be nothing wrong with average either.
You're doing the very best you can I believe and there is not much more you can do.
That's the sad part. You definitely ARE ready for a relationship and love, you're more than ready.
There are people in this world that are sad or ugly and have no job and don't go to school and have no hobbies or interests.
And these people think a relationship and love will come into their life and make them happy.
Well these people are told to turn their life around, to be heathy friendly and happy and get hobbies and a job and all that. SELF-IMPROVMENT.
You have done this. There's not much more you can do to SELF-IMPROVE because you're at a point in life where there is nothing to work on.
Maybe if you are unfit you could start eating healthier and exercising more so you can gain an attractive body, but that's all I can say really.
But I understand why you are tired of patience and waiting.
The thing you can improve now is social skills and talking to women. You can make friends with women first but not all of them.
If you are attracted to a woman romantically and have a crush on them then I suggest being friendly with them and talking to them, but not becoming a friend. When it's been a few weeks ask them out to coffee.
If they reject you than Im sorry but just try and keep it up.
Im only young so there's not much help I can offer due to lack of experience but I share that pain.
I think "be yourself" is a stupid thing and that you should "Be your BEST self" and I am working on this but it has brought no results...
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