Girlfriend talking to me less, started a few weeks ago

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smudge
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10 Jun 2017, 6:30 am

smudge wrote:
The "psychic" told her that you were going to end the relationship, and she believed it. No wonder she is trying to distance herself and is giving mixed messages, she's afraid that you're going to end it, and she's trying to end things herself slowly because she feels she has no choice. Ask her to get a second opinion on a reading. That "psychic" was completely out of order. Emphasize to her how much you love her, what the psychic said was absolute codswallop and for her to take absolutely no notice. Again, get her to have a second opinion from a different "psychic" if she stands by what they said, and tell her sometimes psychics get it wrong.


Try this first Robben. I strongly believe that it was what the psychic said that upset her and has caused her to change.

And long distance relationships are fine, do whatever you want. However, I agree with the others that to meet IRL at some point is a good idea.


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0_equals_true
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10 Jun 2017, 12:00 pm

rdos wrote:
I don't find that far fetched at all. A considerable amount of NDs are into psychic stuff.


I don't adhere your statistical model of ND and especially your not definition of Neurodiverse which was never intended to be used as a mutuality exclusive group, which should be obvious from the etymology. "Neuro" + "diversity" referrers to the range of neurologies (and the advocacy of), so by definition includes anything you model as typical. It is academically dishonest to use a word in common usage and use a definition that is likely to be conflated with the more common one. This is the sort of thing that has happened in politicised social science / sociology recently..

Many people on the spectrum also have magical thinking.

However I tend agree with Robert Sapolsky's view on magical thinking which it is really a spectrum and that spectrum is the Schizotypal spectrum.

However it is not that unusual, it is not mutually exclusive to ASD either.



rdos
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10 Jun 2017, 1:29 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
I don't adhere your statistical model of ND and especially your not definition of Neurodiverse which was never intended to be used as a mutuality exclusive group, which should be obvious from the etymology. "Neuro" + "diversity" referrers to the range of neurologies (and the advocacy of), so by definition includes anything you model as typical. It is academically dishonest to use a word in common usage and use a definition that is likely to be conflated with the more common one.


I don't think so. My ND definition includes the things typically included in neurodiversity. The only difference is that I made it a scientific construct instead of a definition that has no scientific meaning.

0_equals_true wrote:
However I tend agree with Robert Sapolsky's view on magical thinking which it is really a spectrum and that spectrum is the Schizotypal spectrum.


There is no well-defined "schizotypal spectrum". The "test" for it (SPQ-A) is strongly correlated to ASD and neurodiversity. Therefore, it has no scientific validity.



0_equals_true
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10 Jun 2017, 4:07 pm

rdos wrote:
There is no well-defined "schizotypal spectrum". The "test" for it (SPQ-A) is strongly correlated to ASD and neurodiversity. Therefore, it has no scientific validity.

Need I point out the logical fallacy in that statement? Fill in the As, Bs and therefore Cs. One model doesn't automatically invalidate anther's simply due to correlation. This is not top trumps.

ASD tests are no more scientifically valid especially ones based on questionnaires, they have the arbitrary parameters and weighting just like all of these test, however it is very difficult to test trait in free moving way the model their relationships. The whole approach the DSM is like this.

This idea is a hypothesis but a credible one. It is not simply that there is a neurotype behind magical thinking, it is that this neurology has a functional purpose in the brain. Us hyper-analytical type still in need this type of function to do with subjective decision making and even some logical leaps, especially to break out of out deductive reasoning in order to form conclusions. As there is often yet another level on deduction, this can go on and on, and certainty is unlikely. If someone can't break out of analytical loops they can be at a disavatage. We know this from specific cases of brain injured individuals some individual have extreme difficulty making up their minds due to inability make subjective choices easily. Subjective thinking and even leaps of faith a important in decision making due to lack of certainty.

In people who are more tending to magical thinking I would hypothesize are relying less pure analytical thinking (which is an ability) and more subjective leaps of faith such as higher powers and I would posit this correspond with a neurotype where is function is more developed in comparison.



AngelRho
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10 Jun 2017, 9:42 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
rdos wrote:
There is no well-defined "schizotypal spectrum". The "test" for it (SPQ-A) is strongly correlated to ASD and neurodiversity. Therefore, it has no scientific validity.

Need I point out the logical fallacy in that statement? Fill in the As, Bs and therefore Cs. One model doesn't automatically invalidate anther's simply due to correlation. This is not top trumps.

ASD tests are no more scientifically valid especially ones based on questionnaires, they have the arbitrary parameters and weighting just like all of these test, however it is very difficult to test trait in free moving way the model their relationships. The whole approach the DSM is like this.

This idea is a hypothesis but a credible one. It is not simply that there is a neurotype behind magical thinking, it is that this neurology has a functional purpose in the brain. Us hyper-analytical type still in need this type of function to do with subjective decision making and even some logical leaps, especially to break out of out deductive reasoning in order to form conclusions. As there is often yet another level on deduction, this can go on and on, and certainty is unlikely. If someone can't break out of analytical loops they can be at a disavatage. We know this from specific cases of brain injured individuals some individual have extreme difficulty making up their minds due to inability make subjective choices easily. Subjective thinking and even leaps of faith a important in decision making due to lack of certainty.

In people who are more tending to magical thinking I would hypothesize are relying less pure analytical thinking (which is an ability) and more subjective leaps of faith such as higher powers and I would posit this correspond with a neurotype where is function is more developed in comparison.

I see all of humanity as flawed, regardless of where we fall on the spectrum. That fundamental flaw can manifest itself in various ways, and I think that includes a noetic effect. Magical thinking is one result of that flaw. But I think the opposite is also true: NT's and some ND's might have a better-developed sensus divinitatis than others who might even have a sensus divinitatis impairment. For the former, God's existence and active role in the universe is obvious and undeniable. The latter aren't incapable of knowing God but require an actual leap of faith to get there. I suspect that has a lot to do with how there are so many atheists among those on the spectrum and how some struggle with analytical loops and subjectivity--although much in music and art depends on subjectivity anyway. I don't count religious faith as entirely subjective, though I do think a strictly materialist/empiricist scientific approach is insufficient for understanding spiritual or religious experience and any reality beyond the physical universe. The problem seems to be whether one can accept historical records of personal experiences of the divine as compared with those who make present-day claims. In that, you CAN objectively study elements of faith. Viewed completely objectively, some of what seems to be "magical" thinking really isn't magical at all.



rdos
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11 Jun 2017, 12:13 am

0_equals_true wrote:
rdos wrote:
There is no well-defined "schizotypal spectrum". The "test" for it (SPQ-A) is strongly correlated to ASD and neurodiversity. Therefore, it has no scientific validity.

Need I point out the logical fallacy in that statement? Fill in the As, Bs and therefore Cs. One model doesn't automatically invalidate anther's simply due to correlation. This is not top trumps.


That's not the point. These traits belong to neurodiversity (as I've defined it), not by correlation, but by how I defined neurodiversity. If you claim another model, you need to substantiate it in a way beyond only a definition, otherwise, it will be scientifically useless.

0_equals_true wrote:
ASD tests are no more scientifically valid especially ones based on questionnaires, they have the arbitrary parameters and weighting just like all of these test, however it is very difficult to test trait in free moving way the model their relationships. The whole approach the DSM is like this.


My neurodiversity definition has no arbitrary parameters. It defines it like this: Neurodiversity was defined as the primary factor output by factor analysis of a data set of human behaviors which contains evenly distributed traits of all sorts that cover all of human diversity. Neurotypical function was defined as the second factor.

0_equals_true wrote:
This idea is a hypothesis but a credible one. It is not simply that there is a neurotype behind magical thinking, it is that this neurology has a functional purpose in the brain. Us hyper-analytical type still in need this type of function to do with subjective decision making and even some logical leaps, especially to break out of out deductive reasoning in order to form conclusions. As there is often yet another level on deduction, this can go on and on, and certainty is unlikely. If someone can't break out of analytical loops they can be at a disavatage. We know this from specific cases of brain injured individuals some individual have extreme difficulty making up their minds due to inability make subjective choices easily. Subjective thinking and even leaps of faith a important in decision making due to lack of certainty.


I've outlined another hypothesis that I think is far more credible: Forming a spiritual connection is part of ND courtship. This does agree with the empirical finding that supernatural and psychic beliefs (and abilities) clusters with ND relationship traits, a finding that your hypothesis cannot explain at all.

0_equals_true wrote:
In people who are more tending to magical thinking I would hypothesize are relying less pure analytical thinking (which is an ability) and more subjective leaps of faith such as higher powers and I would posit this correspond with a neurotype where is function is more developed in comparison.


This is also part of ND courtship. ND courtship requires the ability to make crisp conclusions on highly arbitrary data. Simply because the hints sent nonverbally are highly ambiguous. This background also explains why NDs dislike organized religion. NTs use religion and magical thinking in a social context, while NDs use it in a more private context to make sense of the world.

Also, ND talents (where analytical thinking clusters), does not cluster with magical thinking or psychic abilities, so are independent traits.



rdos
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11 Jun 2017, 12:28 am

AngelRho wrote:
I suspect that has a lot to do with how there are so many atheists among those on the spectrum


You shouldn't confuse psychic beliefs with organized religion. These are not related. NDs are more likely to have psychics beliefs but less likely to like organized religion. That's not contradictory. You need to define things in proper ways to understand them.



slw1990
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11 Jun 2017, 8:36 pm

Maybe it has something to do with what her friends told her.



Robben
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11 Jun 2017, 10:38 pm

I asked her again why she is hardly talking now and she just says she is really busy but she will make time for me. Starting to get really pissed. It has been almost 24 hours since I messaged her and she hasn't even looked at it yet she continues to post on Instagram all day today. I'm not going to message her again until she does. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and she constantly said she wants to come see me, and told me for sure that she is almost certainly coming down for the summer on a family trip. And like I said in the OP we talked almost every night and skyped like once a week, I know so much more about her personality because of that. Just don't understand what her problem is all of a sudden. Like other people said. it only takes like 10 seconds to reply, and she can't even do that.



AngelRho
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11 Jun 2017, 10:52 pm

Robben wrote:
I asked her again why she is hardly talking now and she just says she is really busy but she will make time for me. Starting to get really pissed. It has been almost 24 hours since I messaged her and she hasn't even looked at it yet she continues to post on Instagram all day today. I'm not going to message her again until she does. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and she constantly said she wants to come see me, and told me for sure that she is almost certainly coming down for the summer on a family trip. And like I said in the OP we talked almost every night and skyped like once a week, I know so much more about her personality because of that. Just don't understand what her problem is all of a sudden. Like other people said. it only takes like 10 seconds to reply, and she can't even do that.

You're starting to get pushy. Ease up, dude!

That whole psychic thing about you breaking up with her...of COURSE you are. She's trying to get out of the relationship with you while manipulating you into thinking it was your idea the whole time. Give her what she wants and pull the trigger on this thing. Dump her.

Or don't... Better yet, ghost her. The old non-breakup breakup. Let her find out when you start posting selfies with your new gf. In your case, ghosting sends the message she can't make you play her stupid little games and keeps you in control. You think you're pissed now? If she cares at all, getting ghosted will absolutely infuriate her.

You choose how to handle this, these are merely suggestions. The relationship is clearly over, and the sooner you see that the better.



smudge
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12 Jun 2017, 6:38 am

I agree with AngelRho (since your last post). She is clearly not interested, and I wouldn't assume she's telling the truth when she says she'll turn up on your birthday. She sounds immature.


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12 Jun 2017, 8:31 am

She's forcing you to break up with her so that she doesn't have to do it yourself. It's immature and silly but it happens with both genders, shes done it herself all but in direct words. As i said before i didn't think it had anything to do with the physic (an excuse), their was ways around that and things she could have done. Your last post makes it clear to me.

Now you can keep talking to her and getting annoyed, wait weeks to see if she turns up which it doesn't look like she would.Heck you could even say I'm going to come visit you when you are next free and watch the excuses role in if you like. Then proceed to option 2 and 3

Or just break up with her that's what she wants, tell her you've got no choice but to break up with her because of her actions.
Or just ghost her back, carry on with your life etc

I would do the second suggestion personally. If your girlfriend cares more about Facebook and Instagram that are stuff people don't have to do, its a time killer at the end of the day then messaging her boyfriend then get out of their. You deserve better man.