Sleeping with someone who's in a relationship

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It speaks to a lack of regard for other people and their relationships. You're perfectly willing to put someone through the hell of wondering why they weren't enough for their SO purely so you can have a few minutes of pleasure. Yes, the person in the relationship is more culpable, but if you know they're in a relationship, your hands aren't clean either.

I take it from this post that for you, receiving pleasure outweighs any potential pain you could help cause in another man's life and relationship. You might be fine with that, but imo it doesn't speak well of your character or ability to empathise.

Probably 65% female or so.

She might have put him through it anyway. If she's willing to actively seek me out, I see no reason that she wouldn't do it with someone else.

And yes, I have absolutely no sympathy for cheaters, it's their own damned responsibility. What's the easier solution:
Making sure the rest of the world takes responsibilty for your relationship? Or oneself taking 100% responsibility for being faithful.

I do have sympathy for the guy, but let's change the angle a bit here: If she's willing to cheat on him that easily, isn't it better the relationships comes to a potential end, so that he could find someone who bothered to be faithful?

^ It's called rationalization.

I would call your behavior sexual opportunism. I guess not predation yet. Let's see where it goes.

It's totally not my world, I would never consider sleeping with someone I don't respect or care for.

I respect honesty, so I respect those who are honestly horny toward me.

Get naked privately in front of your male friends, and chances are that most would go for it.

To my mind, you guys are the ones rationalizing here. You're taking the responsibility off of her, as if she is a victim... Would you even say the same thing if the genders were reversed? I find it repulsive. She is in a relationship for gods sake! It is her responsibility to guard her own relationship.

If those are the only women who find him attractive then it's hard to blame him. I don't like it, but I can see where he's coming from. Not everyone has the luxury of forming meaningful relationships with others.

Of course it's immoral, but to suggest it's borderline predatory is absurd. The cheaters are ultimately the ones responsible here, he's just the classless guy taking advantage of their disregard for commitment.

I know.
It was enough to wear a low neckline dress next to one of my male friends to see his confused eyes trying not to stare at my boobs until he muttered "Good luck you don't wear like that everyday".

This is exactly why I don't do it. Because such unions are not my world.

You put more to my mouth than I said.
I said sexually opportunistic.
Disregarding the other guy, disregarding potential complications because you got a chance.
I don't see her as victim. She is the main wrongdoer.
But I find it repulsive to take part in something you consider morally wrong.

You remember this thread: viewtopic.php?t=361205

All these male trainers are married, yet MANY female members are always stalking them and chasing them; one of them is friend of mine and showed me sexual textings he received from them - nothing of this sort remains secret in the men's real btwl. I have caught them at times spanking a butt, or squeezing an inner tight (and the girls always giggle with them, so it's no harassment), or a girl touching their six-backs under their shirt (I've been 4 years in the same gym). I am totally sure that these 3 guys are f*****g 70% of the young single women in that gym, the attractive ones at least.

This is what's really going on, a minority of men are getting the majority portion of attention (even from married women). This is a reality. Chimpanzees and gorillas.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 13 Apr 2018, 6:53 am, edited 2 times in total.

Oh, I'm sure it happens. If it didn't, all the playboy bunnies wouldn't sleep with Hefner. There would be no phenomenon of groupies. Nobody forces or bribes them to go there.
I just feel no desire to join.

Hefner is an exaggerated biased example of gold digging case; these models just seeked career via him, but I doubt they're horny around him when he got so old, surely he's not their sexual fantasy.

I would say a combination of good income + hot body is what makes a male a real alpha , aka a real sexual fantasy for many women - these trainers make good money too because they're professional in other sports as well. True alphas.

Hefner – maybe but I'm not so sure about all the elderly rockmen and their groupies. I guess it's mainly attractiveness of social status.

And for the "true alphas"... I once came across a graphics describing some lizards mating strategies.

I'm pretty sure humans are capable of inventing even more competing strategies.

I'm sort of on the asexuality spectrum & take my relationships very seriously so I would never get involved with a girl who was in a relationship except for maybe being her friend & might help her decide to leave the guy she's with if he's abusing her or something. Then I would worry about getting involved if she's willing but I would NOT consider it before.

She’s not satisfied with her relationship. You are in effect an enabler and a predator, and you have some deeper issues going on if you’re hunting IAR girls for sport. And you are rationalizing. You can’t put that on us. You are behaving badly and blaming the victim for the pressure you’re putting on her.

I was the same way at one point in college. I “stole” my wife from her ex. I came close to sleeping with one girl who was engaged and actually did go through with it with another. And another girl had just broken up with her fiancé was saving herself for marriage...after I comforted her that night, well, she didn’t have to worry about THAT anymore. There was another IAR girl that didn’t go that far, but I think she would have gone for it. She was dating a friend of mine, plus this freshman guy that I’d been mentoring had a severe crush on her and lost a lot of respect for me after all that blew up, whereas the ex-bf was actually afraid of me and relieved when she fessed up and dumped him.

Not meaning to brag, and I’m not proud of my checkered past. I’m being honest, and those things do NOT reflect positively on me. Your problem is the same problem we all have: you’re being selfish. The difference is the kinds of things I did and what you’re doing is destructive. I hope you see that, and soon.

Funny thing about girls: you can’t really conquer a girl’s heart, mind, soul, and body unless she purposefully surrenders them to you. Men always get a bad rap for seduction and the old pump-and-dump routine, but girls are just as bad. I was wrong for what I did. But those girls wouldn’t have put up with it if they weren’t unhappy with their relationships already. They were using me a lot more than I used them. In two of those situations I walked away first because I could see nothing good would come of it. But if I’d stayed around long enough to bust them up, they’d have dumped me as soon as they were done with me.

This girl is liable to dump you as soon as she gets rid of her bf. You’re just a little something new and fun on the side, but these little ONS flings eventually die away and leave everyone involved empty and wanting something else. You might be a regular Don Juan right now, but you’ll die lonely if you try to keep it up.