Let me share something with you. My daughter has had a rough time becoming an independent adult, but has succeeded, if only by fits and starts. Unlike many parents of autistic adults, I was in favor of her attaining independence. But my daughter needs help sometimes with executive function things, including signing up for programs, managing her health needs, making appointments, and the like. I used to do all of that for her after first seeing where she was falling short. But eventually, we found a social worker in our county who she can meet with as often as necessary. This person does many of the things I used to do - making phone calls, signing up for programs, encouraging my daughter, etc.
So my daughter is a very intelligent, mostly-college-educated, sweet person with both autism and post-concussive syndrome, who can be successful as an independent adult with appropriate help.
What does this have to do with you, Marknis? It means you don't have to do it all, you need appropriate help, but neither do you have to be helpless. If you want to move away from being reliant on your mother, you will need to find other ways to provide that structure in your life. Please, please take this lesson to heart.
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A finger in every pie.