Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Being too scared to talk to her

Page 2 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

SaveFerris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,762
Location: UK

09 Feb 2019, 8:14 pm

KanyeWestFan wrote:
I will finally say something to her because I have a very good small talk opener now. (She recently just dyed her hair and my hair been dyed for a couple of weeks) Does anyone know any tips that can help me? or mentality excuses?


Good opener , if you think it's true tell her her colour really suits her. If you ever wanted that colour , tell her. You could ask what brand she used or where she bought it. Talk about hair and dye for a bit to see how interested she is in sharing the information. Don't go on about hair and dye if she appears disinterested. You've got to play it by ear , if you connect on hair dyes expand the topic. If she appears to be not interested in your hair dyes topic and you notice , apologise and explain why you chose the topic - tell her you just wanted to talk and you thought this was the best approach.

These are my tips , take it or leave them , they guarantee you nothing.


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


KanyeWestFan
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 29 Jun 2016
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 263

10 Feb 2019, 2:41 am

SaveFerris wrote:
KanyeWestFan wrote:
I will finally say something to her because I have a very good small talk opener now. (She recently just dyed her hair and my hair been dyed for a couple of weeks) Does anyone know any tips that can help me? or mentality excuses?


Good opener , if you think it's true tell her her colour really suits her. If you ever wanted that colour , tell her. You could ask what brand she used or where she bought it. Talk about hair and dye for a bit to see how interested she is in sharing the information. Don't go on about hair and dye if she appears disinterested. You've got to play it by ear , if you connect on hair dyes expand the topic. If she appears to be not interested in your hair dyes topic and you notice , apologise and explain why you chose the topic - tell her you just wanted to talk and you thought this was the best approach.

These are my tips , take it or leave them , they guarantee you nothing.


Thanks for the help!



KanyeWestFan
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 29 Jun 2016
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 263

10 Feb 2019, 2:44 am

smudge wrote:
KanyeWestFan, please listen to me. Don't overthink this, and certainly don't think that you don't have a chance with her. I think the others are being overly pessimistic, do not let them affect your thinking. You do have a chance with her. It is not guaranteed, but you do have a chance with her if you ask her. You have to think this way.

Faith is something I believe in, it has kept me going.



I appreciate your comment, I really do



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,399
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

10 Feb 2019, 5:50 am

Now it's time for some motivational posts....

Image



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

10 Feb 2019, 4:33 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
rdos wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
- Her to be single, straight or bisexual, and interested in and available for a relationship
- Her to be attracted to you physically
- You and her to be attracted to each other personality-wise, mentally and emotionally
- Her to not perceive that she has any better options than you for a partner


Completely wrong. He is not dating her, and the "rules" of neurodiverse (shy) courtship is not anything like those of dating.

Ok, oh informed one, if not the aforementioned, what are the prerequisites for two people to feasibly be in a relationship? NDs may be different to NTs, but we're not a different species.


The thing is.....he does believe that we are different species.


That's correct. Courtship is a species-typical behavior with basically no variation, and so if a population has another variant of it, that means they are different species. :wink:

In the end, I'll probably discover that there is no common ground at all between NT and ND courtship. Everything that is similar is things that NDs learned through cultural conditioning, and it's not just dating.