Worried that I'll never have my first kiss

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If you're a decently attractive woman, just go out to the nightclub and you'll have your first kiss within a couple weeks to a month. Maybe even within a day depending on how drunk you are.

It's a shame I always have to leave early to get home. I know some great places for clubs and such. The main gay bar is too loud for my tastes but I know underground places.

My first kiss was when I was in elementary school with my first boyfriend Dustin

We were in his closet making out

Why don't you go to one of these underground places, find someone you click with, and kiss her. Just kiss her.

I brought up something like that earlier in the thread that was dismissed. I agree though. There is sometimes clearly a person giving a kiss and a person receiving it. If someone isn’t willing to give one they are less likely to get one.

If someone gives half a dozen they could get one in return. I obviously like to put different spins on things but I think it is true in concept.

I don’t how it is with lesbian woman, but no man with whom a young attractive woman has struck up a friendly, flirty conversation is going to go medieval on her if she sneaks a kiss. 99% of guys would be flattered even if they don’t really have an interest.

Now if she is looking for a real romantic kiss, that might not be the way to go about it. Or, it might!

Stand around a group of women on the eve of new year's Day?

Kind of like my first kiss. I was 18 and we were on the dance floor at a frat party when the girl I was dancing with to "Saturday night's alright for fighting" grabbed me and started french kissing me. I didn't see that coming, and I certainy didn't complain!! It was the best night of college up to that point.

I grew up rural & gay (tho I didn’t know I was soooo my first kiss was at 16 with a boy.) I wish you luck. It did take me leaving my small town to find ladies to kiss but it was worth it

Not gonna get into the whole stealing kisses thing, so this is all I’m going to say about it. All I can say is that asking for consent is a mood killer. If you MUST ask, the answer is always no. That’s my rule. The easy way around that is always give someone an escape hatch, make your intentions obvious, and the other person will either turn away, say no thank you, or lean into it. If you have to get your partner to sign an affidavit before you can smooch, it ain’t worth it. I think if someone is the shy type and prone to freezing just to get you to leave them alone, it’s best not to approach that person.

If that’s not what you want, i.e. you want to be kissed then it’s best not to be that person. However…most people before kissing at least know each other well enough that even if it’s a mistake it doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable nightmare situation. The idea that people steal kisses I think is an illusion since there is almost always an understanding between two people that kissing is ok. If you don’t get that or you don’t know someone that well, don’t try to kiss them.

One of the most memorable first kisses I’ve had with a friend was while on a date asking her what she thought about me kissing her. I couldn’t coax any answer out of her other than “I already told you. I don’t think.” I took that as an invitation and I was right.

And that’s all I got to say on that topic.

^ I don't think that asking for consent is a mood killer. A good rule of thumb: if in doubt, ask.

There have been one or two WP members in the past who expressed that they felt stuck and couldn’t move anywhere where they’d have better romantic prospects. My subjective opinion was they just didn’t want it bad enough or were too unreasonably afraid to make a move.

I’m ok in the romance department, but I was NOT ok in the life satisfaction department. So eventually I faced my own fears and took my own advice.

And here’s the reality of it: I’ve become a nomad. Since leaving the Mississippi Delta, I’ve quit four jobs in three years. Mostly because I don’t want to work in emotionally toxic environments. I’m worth more than that. One job was a 3-hour commute, but then I sold the house I was using for overnight stays. Another job was a GOOD job, but not worth the commute. So I’m looking at another full-time day job when my contract runs out and a part-time gig.

If moving is key to romance because of availability, you assume the risk of a nomadic existence. There are risks with moving around, and that makes it scary. It’s difficult and frightening because you have no idea what’s going to happen. But for all the hard work you put in, you have the right to expert to be rewarded for it. You must expect to be paid well enough to live there and to have reasonable hours of free time when you can look for a romantic partner. More so than romantic partners, you should focus on making friends with similar values as you. The strongest, most meaningful romantic relationships emerge from these friendships and connections. But they don’t emerge at all when there’s no opportunity for them. If you live as a nomad, you take on a ton of risks. But you also reap the benefits of those opportunities.

It’s not that you commit to always moving. It’s just keeping the mindset that you CAN move any time. You commit to your goals, not to a place or an employer. The most important loyalty you have is to yourself—not a city, not a workplace, not a lover. It’s a painful process. It’s difficult. But most anything worth doing is worth the effort, blood, sweat, and tears you put into it. That’s where its value comes from. So keep the mindset that you travel light, never buy new curtains, and never settle until you know beyond doubt you are in a secure place where you can grow and be happy.

I’m good with growth, just not so much on the happiness point. Where I’ve been I was at least content. But there was no growth. And that ended up costing me in contentedness. And now being content with things simply doesn’t cut it anymore. I want to see growth and success in ALL areas of my life, and if that means making one or two extremely painful and difficult decisions, then so be it.

Sell all you own except only the most essential items, pack only what you need, and head out on the road. It won’t take long before you have that first kiss. The key is that it’s worth enough to you to do whatever it takes.

When in doubt, don’t.

Don’t ask unless you know the answer will be yes.

Signed,

A Man Who Has Asked On More Than A Few Occasions

When there’s been no asking, it’s always been because she kisses me. I’m autistic, you see.

I’d like to be asked, depending on the situation. It shows consideration IMO.