Question for the women.

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Agreed. Then again I think that's why if your online and have photos you really want to capture 'you' as well as you can, just because you need to lend some pretty solid clues as to what's there in general. Internet may not be as ideal a medium but it does at least help like minds, especially rare ones, meet when it would have been too impractical by random chance.

You are exactly right. I have tried 'online' dating', but had little success-probably due to my quirky mannerisms. However, I was only drawn to people w/ many different pics of themselves. At least w/ the aid of a bunch of pics, I could get some kind of clue as to what they are really like in person. Of course, I did the same, but I am an aspie and I am not going to post my deranged looking pics on a dating site (lol). Although, I did warn my dates in advance of my 'unique' behavior (lol).

Just as a lot of men will date "unattractive" thin women, my guess is that a lot of women on that site feel the same way about the men they'll date. Generally, my experience is that, in dating, women are a lot more "forgiving" about men's looks than vice versa.

In any case, the online personals are just like resumes--the sole purpose of the profile is to get your foot in the door. So a lot of people will say that looks don't matter, just to meet as many people as possible and to have a bigger pool of real-life people to choose from. Which makes sense, in a way, because you can't tell whether you'll click with someone just by reading their profile.

Agreed! And there definitely is a double standard! Women often do overlook a lot of things that a man wouldn't dream of!

Really? I've rather seen that mismatches seem
to occur in BOTH directions. I'd really like to see
an example, because I don't even know what
kind of things you're talking about.

Well, you are far more likely to find an attractive woman w/a man whose looks are in a much lower league. It is quite rare to see an attractive man w/an ugly girl. It is also much more common to find a much older man w/ a much younger woman than vice versa. One may even see a preponderance of attractive and fit females w/overweight men as opposed to attractive and fit men w/ unattractive and obese women. However, it is somewhat common to see an attractive thin or fit man w/ an attractive and slightly larger woman (there are men that still love curves). Moreover, if say the couple has been married or together for some time, and let us not forget having kids, the tables can turn in the opposite direction.

Tell that to... oh, I don't know... me...

Back when I was in HS, any girl, regardless of attractiveness, could draw the attention of at least one or more men out there... but those of us overweight men only got any attention if we were acting like jerks, and then only for a few moments...

Not my experience at all.
Perhaps you view more women
as attractive than men?

You mean symmetrical?

That last sentence would give Donald Rumsfeld a run for his money. No hard feelings

I think you both completely misunderstood what I had written. I did not say that unattractive women could not draw the attention of men, esp since high levels of self-confidence go a long way. I also did not state or imply that there are more attractive women than there are men. I am just saying that you are more likely to see an attractive woman w/ a less attractive man, since women are more feeling oriented (maybe not in the case of an aspie woman)-in regard to attraction- and we are more apt to overlook certain negative features. I also said that one is less likely to see an unattractive woman w/ a very attractive man, because men are more visually oriented when attraction is involved. However, many qualities come into play when it comes to attraction and there are no set rules!

Since I am not 99% of all women, I cannot answer this question.

It's been scientifically proven (well.. we researched it in A level psych, but there have been a lot of studies on this) that you are attracted to a person of similar attractiveness to yourself. Which is why sometimes you can't tell whether a guy and a girl walking down the street together is a couple or brother/sister (unless of course they're doing something to determine). Sometimes you see exceptions. But I found, out of twenty couples, ppl perceived 18 of them right on average. We had one half of couples on one piece of card, and the other half on another. And ppl were asked to match them.

It's why you see a lot of ugly couples, and a lot of really fantastic looking couples. Along with larger couples, and slight couples. Of course, like I said, there are exceptions to the rule, like all rules. It's all about how you perceive yourself. I thought I was ugly as sin when I was 16, and fat, which reflected in my choice of partner. Now, I think I'm attractive (though only sometimes), and know I'm not fat and I bagged an attractive (well I think so, and that's all that matters) thin guy. It's also where the whole "he/she's out of your league" thing comes from.

Maybe those larger women wanting skinny guys either don't want to be big themselves, or they don't find themselves attractive because of that, or that they simply don't see themselves as fat. Who knows.

But in my opinion, it's rather shallow to have looks requirements on an internet dating site or on any other field of partner-searching.

I also believe that the traits one considers attractive are purely relative... Studies have shown that men seek out women (unless they are gay) who have attributes linked to healthy child bearing. This list would include:

- Symmetrical Facial Features
- Wide-Set Eyes
- Full Lips
- Hour Glass Figure (esp full hips and thighs)
- Long Hair

Nevertheless, I think society and the media play a big part in what is deemed beautiful as well. BTW, this is just a statement based on things I have read and observed...This does not necessarily reflect my own personal opinion:P…lol

Maybe I do. . . eh. . . Maybe. . . . but this (original) has been my experience as well.

It leaves me with the impression that looks are a higher priority on average for guys than for girls.

There's also a huge difference between "attention" and relationships.

Furthermore, HS girls, "regardless of attractiveness", tend to be at least somewhat hot. . . HS guys, not so much. . . And this is in no way a reflection of how I see attractiveness in other age groups. . .

Looks don't matter is not strictly true, in the sense that you clearly need to be sexually attracted to your partner, (unless you don't want your relationship to be based on sexual attraction at all, perhaps if you are asexual. I think some people do have relationships like this).

I think what is more meant by it is that you can't put the whole of humanity on one sliding scale of eligability, with athletic types at one end and, I don't know, John Prescott maybe, at the other. Our taste in the opposite/same sex is varied and often suprising, often you can even suprise yourself by what you suddenly find yourself madly in love with.

I have also sometimes found that as I get to like a person for their character I become sexually attracted to them. I certainly know from experience that I can't be sexually attracted to a person whose personality I actively dislike.