90% of Aspies can't get a date?

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I have some very interesting male friends as well and sometimes they give me interesting advice as well besides the usualy ramblings about topics like philosophy or computergames (depending on who I'm hanging out with). However, these lesbian girls seem to be on a mission to turn me into "babe magnet"... or at least as close as humanly possible.



Look for atypical women.... the geeky women, the women with ADHD, bipolar women, Aspie women, BPD women.... and in case you're just looking for friendship, also look for lesbian women. Maybe it's different in your case, but I find it far easier to connect with women who're also "different" in one way or another.

Do note, however, that atypical women can be very high maintenance and they often have a strong need for independence. It may be easier to connect with them and get into a relationship, but maintaining it is most definitely a challenge I have not yet succeeded in.



The Internet is your friend. If you have problems connecting with people in real life, you can always use social networking sites, Instant Messenger programs, chat rooms and even forums to meet new people. I met 4 out of 5 online first before we went on a first date. In my opinion, it's a lot easier to get a girl interested in you online..... and when she's already interested an actual date is far more likely to be succesful.



Then "most women" aren't you thing and you have to look for unusual ones.

Also, one of the biggest turn-offs for women is an insecure man. If you are very insecure about yourself, you should do everything in your power to mask it and try to appear self-confident nevertheless. The reason so many interesting women end up with total jerks is because those jerks have self-confidence and you don't.

How often have you been rejected in your life? It's also important to learn from your mistakes in the past and avoid making them in the future. Every failed attempt to connect with a woman should be a lesson on how to succeed with the next. I know it's incredibly frustrating to be turned down or ignored by a woman especially when you're already afflicted with low self-esteem, but I fear that the only way out of a situation like that is to go for it....

If there are no female friends to coach you on how to pick up women either online or in a bar and you can't seem to connect with any women at all, discuss the issue with your male friends or - if they have a wife or girlfriend - their wife or girlfriend. Or maybe try looking for one or two guys with some above average flirting skills who can take you on a "guys night out" and who can find some female company for the whole group. While it will probably not lead to a relationship the first few times, the experience will most definitely be useful.

If you find a way to meet new women, do avoid falling in love with every woman who shows you any of her attention. Try to just enjoy her company and don't expect too much of any encounter. The less you expect, the more you're likely to succeed.



I told them she should keep a log of everything they're doing and publish it while keeping my real name anonymous. Hell, it might even be a decent format for a television show



It's great to have the experiences I have, however the heartbreaking pain of seeing yourself drifting apart from the woman you thought was going to be the mother of your children for véry silly reasons is not something you want to experience too often....

This all reminds me somehow of a wonderful saying by Oscar Wilde: "In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. The last is much the worst..." You seem to be getting what many of us want, but not quite in the way it should be.

To use street lingo : "Ain't life a b***h"?!

I prefer Wilde, but yeah that's what it boils down to, apart from those little specks of happiness that sometimes lighten the darkness. Sorry, I'm in one of my romantic-melancholic phases again.

I'm in a romantic-melancholic life and the last two months or so even more than normal since I've watched and felt my ex-girlfriend slowly drift apart from me for about a month or so without the possibility to do anything about until we were both near a nervous breakdown and she eventually made an end to it... And to make it even worse, she leaves me in constant doubt on whether or not we would ever start over as she's left me completely clueless about her feelings for about a months or two now because she refuses to talk about her feelings.


Up until yesterday, I felt more or less like this :

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBpeVOls-GQ[/youtube]

I was actually thinking about this before. I would most likely accept. I still have time before I enter the world of me failing.

How many agree that 90% can't get a date because they hardly get outside the door, and when they do, they mostly travel their own beaten paths.
I'm an example of that. The opportunity to meet someone new comes so seldom that I suffer from malpractise.

It's also pretty hard to focus on love when you're struggling with amassing willpower to finish old failed university courses.

When I'm out of school and on a job, I'll start looking again and not care how much a fool I'll make of myself. At least I tell myself so, but the clock is ticking. To have a life on your own has to be more important than a date, right? I think so.

Yeah, it's nice having female friends willing to help you out like that.

My stepsisters sorta did that for me too haha.
like, helped me with my style & understanding.
Also just have a few female friends here & there who've seemed pretty willing to help out. & that i'll ask about stuff from, get opinions, etc..

ya i have friends that are girls who try to hook me up with their friends and stuff which usually doesnt work. but, having them as friends can really help. so a good word of advice to people on here is that even if a girl wont go on a date with you, at least try and be friends, cuz then she could possibly tell her friends all about you

There is no way to underestimate the importance of friendship and especially feminine friends in your quest of finding a suitable girlfriend. Not only can they help you learn the tricks of courting, they can also introduce you to people who would've otherwise remained inaccessible to you.

My female friend hasn't let me meet any of her friends and I've known her for years. She's got some beautiful friends I see on her facebook. Denied!

well that girl is just an ***hole then. but even if a girl is willing to be just friends, that can still help you alot in the longrun i assume

That sounds like an element of jealous on her behalf.

But regards to this thread the OP'S statements are unfair sweeping generilasations as well as being ignorant and innaccurate.

The real reason most aspies dont get dates is because they either don't try hard enough or they set their standards far too high. If you don't roll the dice then you've no chance of hitting the jackpot.

I disagree. My biggest stumbling block is simply not knowing what's expected of me. For example, when I try to pick up a woman at a bar I already fail making the right amount and the right kind of eye contact and going up to her and saying something random is something that just doesn't come spontaneously enough to be remotely satisfactory.

I my self as a girl with Asperger have never been in a relationship but when I look around I see my friends, they are now have children ! and me…! I don’t even know how a relationship starts. I seem selfish(I just seem), cold, rigid , reserved and these reasons are enough for them never like, want me, but I am not the sort of aspies who don’t want or don’t care having a marriage , Bf/GF or not. I feel an emptiness and grief inside me. especially when I watch other adults, my friends. But my differences is not limited only to have a partner so I must accept it like other my limitations that Asperger have created for me. I know nothing will change in this especial case until I die!

Try looking for a suitable partner in a local Asperger's community. There are far more male Aspies than female Aspies out there, most men with Asperger's are single and they are far more likely to understand your emotions and thoughts.