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Living with parents kind of puts the kibosh on dating?

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Spiderpig
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23 Jul 2018, 8:08 pm

AnneOleson wrote:
You should keep a key somewhere else in the house. If you got sick in your room or there was a fire it would be difficult to help or save you.


Interesting perspective. But that's only true if there's actually anyone more interested in helping you than in pranking you or stealing your stuff, and your door can't just be easily kicked open anyway.


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Spiderpig
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23 Jul 2018, 8:14 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I don't own a car either. So does the fact that my girlfriend drives me around mean I'm alpha? I don't feel like I'm alpha.


If any other guy ever lives in your house for any reason (e.g., being your son), he'd damn better recognize you as alpha.


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AnneOleson
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23 Jul 2018, 8:17 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
AnneOleson wrote:
You should keep a key somewhere else in the house. If you got sick in your room or there was a fire it would be difficult to help or save you.


Interesting perspective. But that's only true if there's actually anyone more interested in helping you than in pranking you or stealing your stuff, and your door can't just be easily kicked open anyway.

True in the case of flatmates and such. I was thinking of Sly living with his family. And the kicking in of the door crossed my mind too, but it might depend if it’s hollow core or not.



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23 Jul 2018, 9:13 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You're a Zeta Guy, Retro.....out of the Alpha, Beta, Gamma system.....

I'm Iota, myself.

Cool! I’m a Rho...well, I guess you knew that already.

I’m a born rhomantic, always looking out for my brho’s. I used to have a lot of hair, but now I’m probably 20 years too late for Rhogaine. Every few weekends I like to hit the rhoad to visit my mom. I used to play in a rock and rholl band. Before that I used to be into community theater. I had quite a few rholes.



BeaArthur
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23 Jul 2018, 10:45 pm

So if sly moves out, his parents are homeless?

What an effed up situation. They are never going to let that boy grow up, because he's the only thing keeping them off the streets.

Does anyone but me see that as an inappropriate family constellation?

Anyway, I hope sly's dates are turning out well.


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23 Jul 2018, 11:09 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You're a Zeta Guy, Retro.....out of the Alpha, Beta, Gamma system.....

I'm Iota, myself.

We are like the Noble Savage from Brave New World. They're all Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta or Epsilon but we defy categorisation. But remember what happened to the Noble Savage in the end when he couldn't find a place in their conformist society.


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sly279
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24 Jul 2018, 12:38 am

BeaArthur wrote:
So if sly moves out, his parents are homeless?

What an effed up situation. They are never going to let that boy grow up, because he's the only thing keeping them off the streets.

Does anyone but me see that as an inappropriate family constellation?

Anyway, I hope sly's dates are turning out well.


What’s the difference between renting a place with strangers and renting a p
Ace with family?
Grow up? I cook my food, buy my food, do my laundry, shower, wake up myself. My roommates just happen to be my mom and sister.
If I had roommates and I moved out they’d end up homeless too if they got hosing for specific amount of people.

I don’t have parents I have one parent. My biological dad was a drug, child abusing a**hole who only cared about himself. I don’t have rich parents to live off of, which is different then living with parents. Your kids were able to live off you until they could get out on their own. Or did you have your daughter be homeless while she waited to get housing approved?, here it takes atleast 2 years to get in housing. Where do you suggest I live while I wait? Oh and my moms on housing so I can’t apply for it while I’m living here. So where do I go with my $300 max rent money in a city where one bedroom appartments are getting up to $1,000. Share a 1 bedroom with 3 strangers I don’t even knows and met in Craigslist, no thanks.



goldfish21
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24 Jul 2018, 12:39 am

BeaArthur wrote:
So if sly moves out, his parents are homeless?

What an effed up situation. They are never going to let that boy grow up, because he's the only thing keeping them off the streets.

Does anyone but me see that as an inappropriate family constellation?

Anyway, I hope sly's dates are turning out well.


I’m with you on this. It’s an unhealthy codependent family dynamic, especially the unhealthy part as sly has previously described his physical living conditions due to 5 dogs living in the house that are not properly looked after by their owner.

But on the flipside, I’m sure there’s reciprocal familial love. And also, it doesn’t sound like sly is fully capable of independent living at this stage of his life, anyways, so they may all sort of need each other.

Adult children living in the family home isn’t necessarily a “failure to launch,” scenario, though. Many cultures traditionally live together as multigenerational families. There are many of these collectivist culture families from various countries in my area & they think it’s weird af that white peoples’ kids traditionally grow up and leave the family home to go take on the expense of their own household. Their numbers here are normalizing families living together, too, so there’s much less of a stigma for others who stay home out of financial necessity due to Vancouver being impossible for almost everyone rn.


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BeaArthur
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24 Jul 2018, 12:54 am

I have known many adult children who lived with a parent, usually mom, and essentially had no personal life up till their 40s and beyond. It's most often a son but sometimes a daughter. These lives are unfulfilled and sad. The adult child is essentially sacrificed in favor of the aging parent's needs being met.


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24 Jul 2018, 1:13 am

BeaArthur wrote:
I have known many adult children who lived with a parent, usually mom, and essentially had no personal life up till their 40s and beyond. It's most often a son but sometimes a daughter. These lives are unfulfilled and sad. The adult child is essentially sacrificed in favor of the aging parent's needs being met.

What is an adult child? Please enlighten me. I hope you're not being condescending.



DeepHour
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24 Jul 2018, 1:20 am

I think that in this instance the poster is simply using 'children' as a synonym for 'offspring', with no reference to emotional maturity.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Jul 2018, 1:39 am

BeaArthur wrote:
I have known many adult children who lived with a parent, usually mom, and essentially had no personal life up till their 40s and beyond. It's most often a son but sometimes a daughter. These lives are unfulfilled and sad. The adult child is essentially sacrificed in favor of the aging parent's needs being met.



It has been always the case in the East - because leaving elders in care centers is still socially frowned upon in most Eastern cultures. Usually one of the offspring remains single for life to take care of the elder parents. My most successful auntie in Australia (branch manager at a major bank) is the one who takes care of my Alzheimered grandma. She was never the type who fancied the idea of marriage though.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elderly_c ... ng_nations

The wiki article wrongly divides this as 'developed nations' vs 'developing nations' , the real dividing criteria is West and East in my opinion.



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24 Jul 2018, 2:24 am

BeaArthur wrote:
I have known many adult children who lived with a parent, usually mom, and essentially had no personal life up till their 40s and beyond. It's most often a son but sometimes a daughter. These lives are unfulfilled and sad. The adult child is essentially sacrificed in favor of the aging parent's needs being met.


I’ve known some. But they’re also the type of people that wouldn’t be very likely to have a successful relationship anyways if they were out in the world on their own, soooo, maybe it’s best for them that they have some sense of purpose keeping mom company and helping her out ?

In the present day economy, there are MANY adults living back at home - some with their SO and even kids, so it’s no longer the case that living with family = sad unfulfilled life. Many have careers, are pursuing education, have a dating and/or sex life etc. There’s a whole lot more than just me explaining this to you in this thread, Bea. Living with family no longer = loser. It’s just an economic reality for MANY people in my generation these days.


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24 Jul 2018, 2:26 am

I disagree with this notion. Being politically conservative is the one way to put the kibosh on dating.


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goldfish21
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24 Jul 2018, 2:28 am

There was even a headline about Millennial families moving in with stranger seniors as roommates. Seniors have too much house and can no longer afford to pay property taxes or upkeep their homes, but they don’t want to move.. and Millenials have no house, sooo, entire new families are moving in with surrogate Grandma’s as roomies who help maintain the home in exchange for affordable rent in this insane market.


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24 Jul 2018, 2:28 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
I disagree with this notion. Being politically conservative is the one way to put the kibosh on dating.


:lol: No dates for trumpeters! :lol:


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