Living with parents kind of puts the kibosh on dating?

Post Reply New Topic

Depends on your age and the reason why really. If you're in your mid 20s still living with parents but is looking actively for apartments, working and is just late with the moving out due to not having been able to afford it until now for example then it's fine AS LONG as you're not content with it and is planning to move out very soon.

It's different if I started seeing a guy in his mid 20s who still lived at home and enjoyed it and didn't seem to care much for moving out anytime soon. That would be a dealbreaker for me. In a relationship I want an independent partner anything else is a turnoff.

Yes, it does. Do I care? No.

I can't afford a rent of $1500 upwards. And no, I will not find a roommate; I have learned the hard way that most people are predatory, ill-intentioned, and basically, suck.

The ideal case nowadays if for the adult child studies in a far university where he/she has to live in some dorm for 4+ years; that would at least let him/her acquire home care skills.

The issue with my mom was always my Aspie traits which she never really accepted. My pacing, talking to myself, obsessive interests, late night reading, the list went on.

For my eighteenth birthday my parents gave me a set of luggage. I wondered if it was a not too subtle message! I left two years later to get married. Never lived on my own until I was 28.

I’m old enough to be your mother. I had what became a good paying job and own my home with my husband. But starting off in life was not easy. We lived with my grandparents. My mother never had her own home. There was no heat in the upstairs of our house. Bedroom floors were linoleum and freezing in the winter. I was in awe when I first saw a carpeted bedroom in my teens! I never went to college or university. None of us did. Everything that I have done or acquired I have worked for. Hardly took any sick leave, took some certificate courses and studied hard for job promotions. I admit life is comfortable now. Im trying to pass things on to my forty year old child.

But there's not any significant difference re jobs and cost of living/etc. Jobs have a purpose. Education has a purpose. And everyone has to consider whether this job or that job or this education REALLY IS all that matters.

I've come to view education as more a rite of passage than something actually practical. Bragging rights. Like finishing an Ironman. Or climbing Everest and surviving the trip down. I'm, like, "yay me! I have two degrees! Woohoo!" and I'm the only one who even cares. It's great that you attain a high level of education. You do have SOME opportunities. But the professions that really demand advanced degrees are relatively few. Education, law, and medicine are the BIG ones. But I've seen a friend and a family member get MBA's and end up running back home to mommy because nobody was handing out no-questions-asked, no-experience jobs to people simply on the basis of having an MBA. My cousin ended up going BACK to school in nursing.

Ooooooh, which reminds me: She ended up living with her grandmother after her dad went crazy and her mother died. She boomeranged back to grams between MBA program and community college, then moved back permanently just before her grandfather died. Not many years later, she took gran "for a little drive in the country to visit some people," dropped her off at the nursing home, and I have no idea if she ever goes out there. This is a place out where they have to pipe in the sunlight. Oh, and it gets better. Not many months later, a "for sale" sign goes up on the front lawn. Real nice, right? And she and her husband I believe are now trying to figure out a way to move to Texas.

Getting back to the point...it's just not 100% necessary. If you are determined enough and are the kind of person who could make upper-level management, the MBA makes sense. But it only makes sense if you started out in high school getting to know people in a company you want to work for after taking some business courses. Before graduation, you take a part time job on custodial staff. Then you use that to pay your way through college to earn your business degree. You step away from custodial to take an internship, after which you get hired full-time in the mail room and work your way up to, say, administrative assistant or some crap like that. After you've been on some committee or team for a year or two, your boss says he wants to promote you, except they only promote MBA's. So you politely ask if the company might help with that. You get a free MBA, a HUGE promotion, and make partner within 5 years.

15 years later you retire and start your own consulting firm doing exactly what you were doing before. You hire some people. And you meet some high school kid pushing a broom...

You wanna go into agriculture? I know where you can study, but if your dad is a farmer you already know what to do. If you're in high school or just out of high school and you have a way to support yourself, it's nothing to save up enough money to lease land and equipment for a season and make a profit from planting a crop. Over time you can spin that profit into buying land and equipment outright. You don't need a degree to do that.

You want to write music? Then just write music. You don't need a degree in music composition to do that. There are people getting rich right now off music licensing that never once set foot in music school.

Wanna write a novel? Then get to work. Nobody asks a best-seller about where they went to school...or if they do, it doesn't really matter.

Wanna build computers? Learn a programming language? There are free resources for that. Just get to work.

Wanna change the world? Don't make education EVERYTHING. Just get busy.

Enough about education. I can't blame boomers for their attitudes towards millennials. I think they are dead on. Millennials are waiting for entitlements that will never come. They need to quit wasting time and oxygen and get busy.

On the flip side, though, you can't judge millennials too harshly. The really awesome thing about millennials is YouTube and DIY culture. Millennials will eventually encounter the same or worse problems as the Greatest Generation. They will look at problem-solving and survival skills as some sort of sick game, so when they get stumped on something, they'll just look up a video that will show them step-by-step how to, say, rebuild a car engine. When things start breaking down that can't be replaced, they'll just 3D print replacement parts. Boomers can rightfully so complain all they want, but we really don't need to underestimate millennials.

Agreed.

This seems to have been a not-too-rare occurrence for people of our generation. Some of my former high-school classmates have reported similar events -- gifts of luggage for their 18th birthdays, discussions of apartment living versus owning a home in the senior year, questions like "So where you gonna to live come summer?", and so forth...

Accessing said free resources is only free for a lucky few. Most of the money I make working on this goes back into technology so I can carry on; that's with a serious focus on using free code & software. I'd have to work so many more hours to make the same money as my predecessors that I stopped counting in order to focus on people. I don't mess around with overwork. I've done ten-twelve hour shifts in one of the largest companies on Earth.

Last edited by cberg on 24 Jul 2018, 4:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ya, but have you been as big a slut as goldfish? I’m very picky and not into group things or my numbers would be much higher.. but still, even one on one, my personal record is 9 boys in 4 days.

Squeaky clean, too. I have an appointment Thursday afternoon to get a ‘scrip for PrEP now that our Provincial gov’t here in BC is paying for it. (Costs less than it saves in HIV transmission reductions & related expenses.)

Yaya, I get it. I’ve seen my dad’s childhood home.. 2 rooms, and in the winter all 6 people moved to the back room because the front room froze over.

But the thing is that I make less money today than my father made 40 years ago. Cars cost 10-15x+ as much. Houses used to cost $75k back then, now they’re $1.277M on average. People in my generation are just barely making survival money, if they’re lucky enough not to be increasing their debtload to pay for food. It is seriously that bad here now.

Personally, I have 10’s of thousands in investments, but month to month I am just barely breaking even as my wage is as low as it’ll ever be w/o being a full time student. Wage will increase, but the goal is studies, so I accept that I will be riding the poverty line for the next decade - and that’s okay. Cost/benefit, hard work and sacrifice and all that. But for ppl who’s goal it is to get ahead like their parents did? Lol nope, not here! And that’s why those who value money, disposable income, material things, vacations and retirement savings etc are relocating.

Not everyone who lives with family is living off their parents.
I’m quite content with renting a place with my family. Would you equally see a partner who rents right strangers for roommates a deal breaker?

My family’s been poor since my dads dad ran off with the companies money. My brother had a few years of well off life. I didn’t have any. My parents divorced around time I was born. My dad is a monster. The divorce was to spare me from him and my siblings from further horrors from him. My mom has multi disabilities and has never worked.

Hous My has a 3 strike rule and your out. My mom will very likely lose her housing and that’s why she’s end up homeless.

I’m disabled. I can’t handle full time work. Peoplenon benfitis are all one step from homeless and treading on egg shells around a government that half just wants to kick everyone off and have them die on the streets

As to how quickly? Anmonth or less
Housing helps pays for the house we are in in part cause of me otherwise my mom and sister would only qualify for a 1 bedroom place not the 3 bedroom house we have. We got grandfathered in, technical we should only have 2 bedroom place as they expect me and my grown sister to share a bedroom.

Many would, and it seems to be conventional wisdom to steer clear of us. Can't blame them.

19 Kinds of Guys Who Just Aren't Worth Your Time

I understand what you're saying, Sly.