You can't win arguments with women?

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^ Strictly for educational purposes, how did you meet this gem, and why this one?

No one wants you to do anything, mate. Everybody here is just trying to help you by giving you their honest opinion. And I will also give you my honest opinion.

You have the following options:

1. Figure out how to fix the issues between you and your wife. You can be more or less forceful about it. It's up to you. It might be successful approach. Or it might not be. It's not entirely up to you. There are two people who make up a marriage.

2. Find a way how to leave her. It might be hard. It might be very stressful. It might turn ugly. But eventually you'll be free of her. By the way, I do not think that your position in case of divorce is as bad as you present here. If she's good at playing mind games with you, then she's probably also good in being able to psychologically threaten you with scenarios that are in fact pretty unlikely. I think she actually might be pretty scared herself of what could happen in case of divorce. In the end, she's a foreigner. You're not. So you have an advantage of the home ground.

3. Do nothing, complain about your horrible wife on the Internet and try to just live in your marriage as it is. It might improve. It probably won't. But there are plenty of men who live under the total domination of their tyrannical wives. In Czech (and Russian), there is even a word denoting such men. We call them "under-heelers" (well "under-slipperers" in Czech as Czech women are less prone to wearing high heels than Russian ones, as my Russian wife would smugly point out). Just so you get a clear picture of what it might entail, I recently saw a Czech movie where a tyrannical wife doesn't mind sending her husband into a mental asylum when he starts to rebel against her.

By the way, I'm not trying to set you against your wife, tell you what to do or try to influence your life in any way. Do whatever you want. I literally do not give a slightest possible damn about your life's choices. I just try, as a fellow human being, to give you an honest opinion about the situation you're in.

I let her listen to Youtube Kids for about half an hour until I'd head enough. I stopped the music and then world war 3 broke out. She shouted at me for 20 minutes about how she's going to start throwing out my things just because I stopped some recorded music that can easily be started again.

I found her response to be disproportionate. I stopped some music playing and she acts like I murdered her grandmother. She goes into a screaming shouty rage over the smallest thing.

She says I "interrupted her all morning". because I stopped one song. How can I have been doing anything all morning when it was only 8:30 AM? We'd only been awake for half an hour. She exaggerates. She says I didn't let the baby listen to her music, I already let her listen to her music for half an hour. Babies don't exposure to electronic media all day. She sees me taking a 30 minute break after work, she says I did nothing all day just because I was doing nothing at the moment she saw me.

She likes to interrupt my work. Just because I'm working from home she thinks she can give housework tasks or put the baby in my arms without a moment's notice and say "look after her while I take my bath" while I'm doing some time critical work task. Considering we're on a single income now you'd think she'd be

She says she does everything for the baby but when she wants to argue with me, her shouting makes the baby cry and she doesn't care. It's clear that she thinks besting me in an argument is more important to her than the baby's well being.

Two days ago I pointed out that a piece of play equipment was causing the baby to hit her head quite hard. I tried to tell Jane about this safety problem but she wanted to argue about some other thing. She acts like everything has to be safe and perfect for her baby but when the baby is in danger she doesn't care.

She acts like everything has to be perfectly clean for the baby but she doesn't wash her hands between going to the toilet and preparing the baby's food.

We met on a dating app. She came to Australia to study science (specifically a master's degree in biotech). I strongly suspect she got someone else to write her thesis although she insists he just translated it into English for her.

She's not as strong as I thought she was. She puts on a brave front. She says she'll win every argument. Acts like she's really powerful and always in control.

But after our arguments this morning I found her smashing the baby's toys and throwing things around the kitchen. This isn't the act of a powerful person who wins every argument. This is the desperate act of someone who's frustrated that they can't win.

I'm not a psychologist so I admit what I say is uninformed speculation not facts but ever since she's been unemployed it seems like she's been getting an inferiority complex.

It's like she feels small so she's trying to make herself seem big and impressive. It's not working.

I want to help her but I can't when she won't listen to me.

If you record her being destructive you might get full custody and won't owe her any alimony...

I made some video recordings but that probably won't work. They show her aggressive behavior but she didn't destroy anything of value. A couple of them show her screamching at me (a combination of screaming and screeching).

I just feel tired now. Like I want to go to sleep but I can't sleep because it's the middle of the afternoon. It's the weekend so normally I'd be doing something fun like reading a book but I just feel staring into space. When she comes downstairs and sees me staring into space she's going to shout at me for being idle. It's like she thinks resting is a sin.

I was told I couldn't use any recordings in court unless I had the other person's consent when it was filmed, and their consent to submit it to court. Check the rules where you live.

Custody will almost certainly be determined by a custody assessment (clinical psychologists), and end up being 50-50 - with some sort of parenting classes required for you and your wife. Sometimes they'll recommend or order that one of the parents has ongoing psychotherapy for themselves, for anger or communication issues. This isn't determined by video evidence. It's determined by personality assessments conducted by court-appointed psychologists.

Wow, that's tough about the recordings. I really think a psychologist and a lawyer are best equipped to help him through, help him escape. Sometimes psychologists know the laws too and are very knowledgeable about how people can escape.

Learning a musical instrument may improve IQ according to some studies.

That's lame. You have literal proof of something happening and you can't use it. I thought the goal of the court was to find the truth.

ㅤCasts spell of necromancy to resurrect dead threadㅤ
So we get into argument tonight and then she says she's going to use her friend’s strategy on me. She's going to take a hard line and start controlling me the way her friend controls her husband.

I tell her that's not going to work on me. It only worked on him because he's weak willed. Before he met his wife he did everything his overbearing mother told him to do and now he does everything his wife tells him to do. His wife thought he was rescuing him from his mother but I think in a way, she just replaced his mother and the person who gives him orders. She wouldn't let him spend his own money. She forbade him from playing video games for two years and he actually obeyed this order. Later, as a reward for being a "good boy" she let him play video games and even bought him a Playstation 5 (something he could afford himself if he was permitted to spend his own money). Now he spends his free time playing his old collection of Playstation 4 games on his Playstation 5. She hasn't permitted him to buy a Playstation 5 game. Lucky for him the PS5 is backwards compatible.

Anyway, my partner says she's going to take a hard line with me and start telling me to do this thing and that thing. I tell her it won't work on me. I'll just refuse to follow her orders. I'm not like her friend's husband. That won't work with me. She got so mad after I said that.

I guess we were having a pretty trivial argument. It's almost comical what started it. I put on Sesame Street for the toddler, for our 19-month-old daughter. I thought Sesame Street might be a nice change from her usual Cocomelon. So the toddler sometimes pays attention to it for a minute or two and sometimes ignores it for a minute or two, which is pretty much the same reaction she has with everything.

So then my partner says the language in this show is too old for her. I thought toddlers can understand more advanced English than they can speak but maybe it would be better suited two 24 or 36 months. That's cool. Then my partner says that Sesame Street is only suitable for kids who are more than 8 years old.

WTF? Image how insulted your 8-year-old son or daughter would be if you put on Sesame Street for them. For goodness’ sake, it's a preschool show, not a show that's only suitable for kids who are more than 8 years old.

I guess the problem for me is she wants to have complete control over how our daughter is raised (what she's allowed to watch, etc). She wants me to have responsibility for doing my share of the work because I'm also her parent. Fair enough. Our daughter has two parents. Me and her mother. But if I have to do half the work while her mother gets to make 100% of the decisions, then she doesn't have two parents, she has one parent and a nanny.

She sounds toxic. A lot of bad relationships materialize when the abuser says he/she is saving the other from sort sort of living hell only to replace it with another.

Good point. I'm going to remember that one the next time she says she saved me from the hell of renting.