Over 21 but never had a boyfriend or girlfriend

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Women are attracted to guys because of the 'vibe' they give out, if you are an alpha male and bad boy you can be butt ulgy and get 'hot' girls interested in you.

Are they? Have you met every woman on the planet?

The vibe is only a portion of it. There are other factors that determine whether or not women are attracted to someone.

Women are attracted to high status males because it gives them higher status among other females and because the higher the status of a male, the better genes.

I can relate to almost any guy's posts on this thread. I'm 22, and never had a girlfriend. While I've been wanting one since puberty kicked in, that desire recently faded. From what I've observed among my friends' relationships, it's just not worth it. And here's why.

As a guy (especially an aspie guy), you have to give and give, and get little in return. Think of it as a low-wage job with extensive responsibilites, few benefits (although there's that one, IF you do your job right), tons of job-related expenses which you can't escape, and restrictions on what you can do on your free time. If NTs could look at relationships objectively like this, the human race as we know it probably wouldn't exist.

The job includes the following responsibilies/restrictions:
There must be an expensive outing once a week at the bare minimum
You must call your girlfriend daily (or else )
No longer having enough time for your friends
You have to buy expensive gifts, and have to guess what she likes (or else )
Having to bring your girlfriend with you whenever you go out
If she doesn't smoke or drink, you can't smoke or drink
She can lose interest and break up anytime, without a warning or notice
In a break-up, the money you spent is permanently lost

So while having a girlfriend would be a good social experience in learning to have a relationship, neither me nor you guys are missing out on much. The hassles I observed in my friends' relationships are simply not worth the effort.

I'm an alpha male and a bit of a "badass" online, and I have never got any "hawt" girls interested in me, so your point is moot.

On a side-note, autistics can be alphas too.

I doubt that... For me, porn is better than reality.

hale_bopp off the high horse dear we know you love the cock lets face it

Laz, hale_bopp wasnt even talking about cock, something which you seem to like too by the way, and no one is on any high horse 'dear', you patronising a**hole. Can't you get a guy yourself or something hence you have to take your insecurities out on others? By the way this isnt a personal attack this is just me standing up for a good citizen like hale_bopp.

Now Fiz, just because laz may be patronizing / publicly attacking a longtime respected WrongPlanet member, it doesn't give u the right to call him an a**hole. Believe me, Laz's behavior is being dealt with but your attempt to stand up for a friend will only help his case (believe me, he needs all the help he can get ).

However, your response is uncalled for and I expect better from both you and Laz. In fact I expect better from a lot of WrongPlanet.net members lately. We've recently been experiencing a period characterised by a lack of respect between wrongplanet members. I want us to go back to when we were a happy peaceful society with only the occasional outbreak. I value each and every one of the awesome wrongplanet.net members.

Laz deserves as much respect as any wrongplanet member and plus he has a fracking awesome avatar.

True, but the vibe is the first thing a girl notices about a guy, and that makes it extremely important. It isn't necessarily the main thing, but I think it often is. Give off the wrong vibe, and even if you're a good looking guy you're not generally accepted.

I say that because I am a good looking guy, and many girls have said that. But they get turned off by something else.

Last edited by ELLCIM on 22 Feb 2006, 10:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

Let's take these one by one......

There must be an expensive outing once a week at the bare minimum

Most of the couples I know settle for the cinema or pub on normal weeks. Maybe a meal once a month. In these enlightened, equality-driven times, it's generally acceptable to 'go Dutch' on the bill.

You must call your girlfriend daily (or else )

As long as she had a home phone, I could do that. I'd only be sitting posting to forums otherwise.

No longer having enough time for your friends

I see my friends often, but still feel lonely otherwise. Since most of my friends are already joined in long-term relationships, this point isn't exactly valid from my POV.

You have to buy expensive gifts, and have to guess what she likes (or else )

Where do you think my savings nest egg came from if not being single for years?

Having to bring your girlfriend with you whenever you go out

Got no problem with that.

If she doesn't smoke or drink, you can't smoke or drink

I don't smoke and would rather she didn't. I drink occasionally but rarely get that drunk. I doubt she'd have a problem with an occasional drink.

She can lose interest and break up anytime, without a warning or notice

And I could get run over by a bus before this evening. Life is like that.

In a break-up, the money you spent is permanently lost

So's my rent money. And the money I spent on gigs. And my taxes. Very few of the things you spend money on last for a long time.

It depends on where you live. If you're from the city I'm from, then that often holds true, because a lot of people are rich and live in mansions. Their mommys and daddys always gave them everything they wanted, whether that be the latest HDTV, trip to St. Lucia, or $300 leather jackets. Naturally, those spoiled rich kids - whom there is no shortage of around here - expect a hell of a lot in a relationship from a material point of view.



I don't see anything wrong with that. Either call them on the phone or spend some time together each day.



Unfortunately this is true in some relationships. I know some girls with boyfriends who still find plenty of time for other friends including myself, while other girls refuse to associate with anybody else, female or male. There was a girl in a sub shop here that was hitting on me and was going into my workplace and telling people how great I was, then when I asked her if she and I could get a coffee, she said that she isn't allowed to go anywhere with anyone else, because her boyfriend doesn't let her. And she was only 17 at the time.

Then again, I firmly oppose "mutually exclusive dating" (MED, for short) until a couple gets married. When I have a girlfriend, I will have absolutely no problem with her associating with other guys, because I will know and trust that she'll be going home with me at night and that I am her highest priority. To me, MED promotes unhealthy relationships, and nobody wins in the end. The healthiest relationships, from my perspective and experience, have no MED.



See my comments about spoiled rich kids above.



See my comments about MED above. When I have a girlfriend, I'll bring her with me sometimes, but she can't be 100% of my life. I have seen too many relationships where the couple is tied to each other, and in the end, everyone gets hurt and the relationship collapses. This happened with my cousin - she was tied down to her boyfriend, and she ended up neglecting her mother who was sick.



Now, if she smokes, I don't imagine she would have a problem with me not smoking? One girl I'm very interested in is a smoker (the "flower girl", if Beau is reading )



Political correctness junkies, cover your eyes.

Women are changing their minds constantly, and I find they have a much more difficult time making up their minds than men, in all aspects of life. This is a generalization, but so many girls I know say one thing one minute, then completely contradict themselves a minute later. I find that they say they'll call me on x day at y time to talk about z, then they never call and they have a lame-ass excuse why they didn't call.

Or, they say they don't want a boyfriend who is possessive, then they choose someone who is possessive and they complain about him for the next two years.

Or, you have a fight with a girl, and one day they say everything will be fine and they'll call you to sort things out, then the next day they say they'll never forgive you and they don't believe you're sorry about what happened.

I know this is not very palatable for the political correctness police, but one must remember that biologically, women do have a lot of hormonal swings through their cycle; this is something men don't have. This affects their mood, which swings all over the place throughout the month. I remember once when a girl was being bitchy to me, and earlier that day I heard her commenting that she was having her period. A week later she was acting a lot more civil.

In the end, a girl's decision to break up with someone can be made without any warning, and due to a surge in a certain hormone.

You don't have to like it, but that's basic biology.



All true.

You do realise that if your going by the psychological theory here you have undermined yourself by rewarding my bad behaviour with a respone, a very amusing response i might add.

Its ok the biology degree doesn't teach you that though you may have touched on behavioural psychology at a surface level.

And I am a patronising arrogant a-hole and I revel in it for the record, your welcome.

By the way this isn't a put down a PWNAGE or a lame personal attack, you opened yourself up with such a lame come back. Welcome to the internet.

Why don't you go read A Hand Maiden's Tail by Margaret Attwood and come out with a well thought out argument on the injustice woman suffer and continue to suffer around the world to the present day then get back to me. Honestly you lot are a shame to the woman who fought for the right to vote in this country

Also for the record I could be gay for all you know and in which case I would be revelling in cock right now as gay guys are utter whores for the most part. So yes I could very well be getting more for all you know....Scary thought aye

Trying to bring this closer to the original post subject, being a lonely guy and getting into a relationship is a matter of patience and perseverance as much as anything else. Which I am having to learn the hard way.

you know loner mutant you can learn. You may find out that you like it more. I am sure if you say no its the overstimulation and not your true answer. Don;t you realize it was communication that helped us grow as human beings. You really need to try. We learn most from our falures.