07 Dec 2010, 10:27 pm
Meow101 wrote:
CaroleTucson wrote:
My feeling is that this isn't really an Aspie issue, per se. I think men in general have a harder time continuing a platonic friendship with an ex.
Like, what is it with that???? I am hurting SO badly because someone refuses to be my friend after breaking off a romantic relationship. There was no huge fight or hatefulness involved. I don't get it
~Kate
Sorry you are hurting
I've had it both ways, sometimes it's hard to be around someone, brings up old feelings. Seems to me it's very rare for couples to be "Real" friends afterward anyway. For example I am "Friendly" with my ex-wife, even went with her recently to the vet and held the cat we used to have together, to have her put to sleep, old ass kitty
BUT we sure aren't going on any double dates anytime soon and she sure isn't going to set me up with one of her girlfriends. That part sucks because she has some pretty awesome girlfriends 
Then again I'm not setting her up with my buddies either, so it's all good.
The way I see it, if you acknowledge that in most cases there will be no double-dating or sexy talk about the new lovers you both will eventually have, then obviously there are still feelings/issues (which seems normal.) For some people in some relationships those feelings/issues are painful. Few people want a friend if it hurts to be around them I guess. Can you see for example how your ex might hurt if they saw you with a new romance? Maybe they want to avoid that, or hearing about that. Lots of reasons, and I think if someone feels that way you should allow them to "be free" so to speak. Sorry I know that it hurts to be rejected as a friend, but it sounds as if they like you enough to be friends but just can't handle it. Hope you are OK soon, I hate breaking up no matter how it goes!
Charlie
08 Dec 2010, 12:17 am
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