People Saying you are Attractive but Know You Are Not

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With this, you're creating a big, honkin' catch-22. After all, how can someone who is not sexy and never was sexy, feel sexy? By flat-out lying to themselves? By dating people far below their league? By getting plastic surgery? None of the these answers are very realistic, although NTs seem to have a far easier time magically making themselves feel confident than aspies.

Forget about aspies, I am no talking about aspies.

I am talking about the beholder thing, that beholder represents the majority of people's view (observe well the world around you, guys consensually agree who's sexy and who's not most of the time, girls sigh for the same guys..). And yes, the one who's seen sexy by 90% have more chance than someone who's seen as sexy by 1%.


As for your earlier question, you are right that attractiveness is not the same as beauty even though beauty usually increases the attractiveness of the person, yet it's only one element of the whole formula.


The nonsense part was blaming the OP for failing to be sexy (you assume that since he has a negative attitude about himself then that's why he's not sexy), yes positive attitudes help, but the physical world does exist too , not everything is about vibes and subtle signs , sexiness is not only about the attitude but also about physical features and the looks of the person.
If he's sexy and physically deformed, the whole positive attitude of the world wouldn't turn him to sexy.

I have known for several years that I am not attractive. When I say that I am not looking for pity, or sorrow, I have looked objectively at what society considers attractive in people, and I simply do not make the cut. It's unfortunate, but the fact is that without major surgery, I will not be attractive. I could moan and cry, but instead I accept the hand I've been dealt. Not everyone is attractive. Life is not fair. Deal with it.

Attraction doesn't work like that. It's not dictated by a magic man with a master plan. You can try to meet or defy demands, or possibly brainwash people, but your value to others is usually not your demesne - no matter how much you and your views would protest that.

How can we forget about aspies on an aspie forum?

I am black and live in a country where probably 95% of the population is white. Do you expect me to blindly follow what ever the 90-95% think?

I consider myself lucky to be a city kid. My friends are the assorted 'odd blokes' from many different cultures. There is just no way that we are going to agree on who the most beautiful women are.

The sooner people can think for themselves and not have their views and aspirations dictated to them by the media and the 90% the happier they'll be.

Odd Pride.

The beholder is US.



How many people are really so unattractive that they cannot look good even after a bit of effort and know how?
Have you ever seen those makeover photo adverts? Everyone comes out with a great set of photos.

It seems that where ever I go perfectly presentable people NT or otherwise are convinced that they are not good looking enough. It's bizarre. It seems like a case of mass brain washing.

I can relate 100% - it actually makes me really uncomfortable when people tell me I'm beautiful. I never know how to respond and feel super awkward. Like, do I tell the other person that they are beautiful too, or do I act all lovey-dovey, like "aww shucks you're so sweet that I'm going to speak in this super obnoxious voice until I make squeaky noises!"

I've even had painting students at my school approach me out of the blue and ask if they can paint me. Does that make me attractive or just really strange looking? And if I'm so-called attractive then why can't I get a date? Granted, I know dating is a superficial test, but it would be nice to be considered.

My Grandma tells me, "I wish you could lose weight so you can get a good boyfriend for a change." I've been referred as a fatass by my brother for years and my weight is constantly brought up by my mother. They still call me cute but they say that my fat ruins it. So yeah. >.<

Meh. Be more concerned with your health intead. Being attractive is a lesser issue. "There's a demographic for everything."

Sure beats being called a weakling loser by my familly.

Step 1: Get fit.
Start working out and eating healthy. Not only is this good simply as a matter of health...After a while you will just start too feel attractive too.

Step 2: Anyone who doesn't like your appearance can go f*$% themselves.
Seriously. You are beautiful if you decide you are. It's a decision. Other people may have differing opinions...but, everyone has differing opinions on EVERYTHING anyway. Screw em. Love who you are.

Probably similar levels of angst. I'd argue that it's conceivable that a fella who's addressed as "¡oye, pato!" feels just as debilitated as a girl who gets "¡oye, fea!" thrown her way.

And yeah, a person's generally the most vulnerable when it's family that's doing the hurting, intentional or not.

I'm in process of that already. I'm 32 pounds lighter since last August and still going strong. It just doesn't help to constantly have my family on my back about it.

No one ever calls me "attractive" or any variation thereof, it wold be nice if they lied about it once in a while...