Do you people consider me a loser?

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So you're saying I was born a pathetic loser that had no chance at happiness, success, and would probably be alone for most of my life?

I agree with you.

you seem to have your mind locked permanently in auto-destruction mode. that's a disease and it can be treated. your problems might not be as bad as you perceive them now.

I wouldn't say it's being mean, they're just honest.

You're not a "loser", you're a person with Asperger's stuck in a negative thought loop obsession. I've seen this before. Unfortunately, the only way out of it is YOU have to fight it yourself. The more you tell yourself all these negative things, the more you feed and strengthen the thought loop.

Self loathing is as addictive as any drug. I've been in a position where you are, where it feels right to hate myself, and the only thing that makes sense or makes the world seem stable/right is to hate myself more. Then if I tell myself I am being weak and need to fight it, I hate myself MORE FOR being weak, and it actually only feeds the cycle. I crave other people to tell me negative things about myself to solidify my self-image.

You have to fully realize and understand all this. Just think about it. Analyze the situation without emotion.

Well, honestly, I was stuck and as bitter years ago, so it's not too late.

to hell with the game.

I also love myself. :O)

NOT "no one" unless you mean no one of your optimal choice.

Last edited by auntblabby on 16 Oct 2011, 11:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You're the one who said that you're a loser, not me.

Being a loser is defined by the person's actions, attitudes, and words. F'r'instance, in my opinion...

Lack of Integrity: While the person may claim certain admirable moral values, they tend to act in a way that contradicts those values. This lack of integrity is also called "Hypocrisy".

Lack of Trustworthiness: If a person can not keep a secret, if they lie about others, or if they simply have a lax concern for the truth, then they are a loser because no one will trust them.

Chronic Pessimism: A little skepticism is healthy. Sometimes a cynical attitude may be appropriate. But when a person's pessimism becomes serious, consistent, and unrelenting, then people will consider that person a loser and shy away from them, thus causing them to miss out on the beauty of life. Such pessimism is both stifling and paralyzing, not only to the loser, but to those on the receiving end.

Indifference to the Plights of Others: A loser often fails to be concerned for another person, focusing only on their own plight. If a person can pass a man bleeding on the ground, leave a child crying and unattended, or simply refuse to be there for someone that needs a friend because they're more concerned with their own feelings of inadequacy, then they're a loser!

Ambition-less: A person who exhibits a lack of ambition is a loser, since he or she is taking something away from the quality of life for everyone else, because they will have to work extra hard just to support the ambition-less person. I'm not talking about dreams and desires. No, I am talking about actually doing something to reach those goals.

Mean and Hateful: Walking around like a hair-triggered bomb, waiting for a look, a word, or an impression to set them off makes someone a loser, since people will either avoid them or intentionally trigger that person's temper for their own amusement. This is not going to gain other people's respect - only their fear. Where there is fear, there can be no love or respect.

No Self-Respect: It's no secret, and no lie, that before you can respect someone else you must respect yourself. How can anyone be fully involved in the game of life, cheering and supporting other people along, if they can't even believe in themselves as a person? The fact is that this is a choice that stems directly from positive attitude, and anything else is their refusal and resignation from taking action on a higher level. If a person wants to be respected, they must first be respectable.

Quitting Before you Try: It's like the dating experts say, "If you never ask, the answer will always be 'No'". In this same philosophy, if a person never tries, the result will always be "fail", thus making that person a chronic failure - a loser. Many losers have never tried because they have already determined how they will fail, and then they set themselves up for that exact mode of failure.

Closed-Mindedness: A person has have forgotten (or never learned) that there are some things that they will never know. What's worse, by refusing to accept that they don't know everything, their life will be dark forever.

Irresponsible: The best way to prolong a personal crisis is to blame others and demand that they get you out of it. This not only absolves a person of accountability for causing their own problems in the first place, but it allows them to sit back and wallow in self-pity (and the attention it generates) while those around them waste their time and effort trying to provide comfort for the irresponsible person.

Self-Centered: If a person treads through life being egotistical, they're a loser. If they do not give a damn about anyone else, they're a loser. Life is not all about one person; there are several billion other people in this world, and each of them have their own problems, and one person's whining about being worthless is not helping them one bit!

(Post #9992)

Last edited by Fnord on 17 Oct 2011, 12:52 am, edited 2 times in total.

I am very egotistical because I can back up the things I say and do

You are more than free to have a different opinion as long as you arent attacking others for having their own.

If you have a look at Fnord´s list you´d see that some of this characteristics loser males have have been that way since birth. These are things that could be improved if the OP choose to but he doesnt seem interested on that at the moment.

Some of those qualites (not most or all) apply to me. It just adds to the other reasons why I'm a pathetic and ret*d bum loser that's not good for anything.

Well you aren't succeeding at anything whining on here. Both are a "waste of energy" but at least with that waste of energy there is a higher chance of success.

No, I don't think you are a loser. Going through a bad time doesn't define you for life. And the only opinion that ultimately matters is your own. When you're an old man you'll judge yourself and that's the closest thing to an accurate life measuring that you'll ever get.

You do seem like you need a certain amount of attention though. But not being lonely myself, it's difficult to remember what that's like.