Giving up on women?

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Hey guys, if you tried hard enough to "get it right", you will be worse off.


I had the same feelings of things when I was 30.
Got married at 35 and it was the worst nightmare. Only being in a concentration camp or gulag in the 1940s could be worse but heartbreak is worse than fear so the comparison falls short.


So it's probably good to realize you are not equipped for this, and maybe it's right to give up. Yeah, be the Little Engine that Didn't Give a Rats Ass and go back down the hill. You'd be better off.


Funny, you get a nice looking woman swearing off men and society is like "you go girl", yet I come to these forums and see guys all crying in their beer because they can't get a woman.

Get over it. If you think "getting" a woman is hard, try being married to one. You'll wish you stayed home and wanked your head off. If you think life got challenges already, trust me, jobs lost because of ADDITIONAL emotional collapse, waking up across the country with maxed credit cards and lost belongings is even more disruptive than the usual aspergergian challenges. The hole not only goes deep, it gets more and more narrow the deeper you go.

Or you're just oversensitive. If they like you and you haven't dated them, how can you be sure any of this is real or just a defense mechanism? NT's are confusing. I am not sure I'd even be able to tell the difference between being mean and just joking oftentimes. How do you know you can?

Yeah, there's that touch aversion thing. You just never know. I don't really know much about it since I am actually hyposensitive to touch. So, really, you never know. With any woman, you run the risk of a lot of things. Maybe you are just too idealistic and should give real women a try for once. If you don't like it, then maybe you can validate your decision.

Couldn't be farther from the truth. Most of the girls I've seen around here love guys who basically act like the spawn of Satan. Positive guys get looked at like creeps because they're rare in this day and age. Positivity is something that's actually more expected of women now.

I can tell you from my experience that I used to be a positive guy, as in always hopeful and cheerful. It never got me any luck with women whatsoever (for the record I started to become more of a realist around age 22 or so). In fact it got me more scorn than being negative because they'd always assume I was acting that way to get in their pants, forgetting the fact that 1. I am a virgin and mostly asexual, and 2. I'd act the same way around other guys.



Oversensitive my ass. You don't know me or my situation. Or the situations with those girls. The one who is showing interest tried to kill herself and got all super depressed over the fact that her b/f dumped her (the guy is a pretty big jerk) and cheated on her. She starts dating another guy after all this. All of a sudden, she takes the first guy back and leaves the second guy confused. That shows a lack of maturity, and reveals that if I ever went out with her, she'd do the same thing to me. You're saying I should try to go out with this girl when she has a b/f already even though she'd just end back up with him? LOL.

It's not a defense mechanism because most people really ARE as bad as they seem. I'm the one seeing the world through my eyes. I only report what I see and experience, and almost never lie or exaggerate.

I'm not too idealistic at all. Again, don't try to judge me. The only dealbreakers for me are 1. a bad personality 2. aversion to affection and 3. drinking. I'm willing to date most women in my age range, but they won't do the same for me. So you can basically take your judgements about me and shove it.

I have to agree with this. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt when I meet them, but they usually turn out to be as bad or worse than I suspected. (Although I'm sure I'm no treasure either.)

Lets's be realistic here who is going to give a 30 year old virgin guy who has absolutely nothing to offer, a chance? The past is usually an indicator of how the future may turn out. Why take the risky option when a safe, secure alternative is freely available? Women are in a position of power when it comes to dating and they have the power to choose to accept or reject the countless offers they get from men.

True that.

Unless if you use camouflage: don't say you're a virgin, let them assume what they want to assume.

How I wish that was more often the case here. But it seems people would rather cling to idealism and what sounds "nice" and politically correct rather than accept the reality of what really goes on in terms of the dynamics of gender-based human relationships.

I've never met someone who complained about everything all the time who has had very much luck with, well, anything. Especially women. I think the reason that girls love guys who "act like the spawn of Satan" is that those guys have positive attitudes. Maybe they don't have a positive attitude about EVERYTHING, but they sure as hell know they can get with any woman they want. They might be complete a**holes once they're with her, but they are damn good at getting there, and they definitely wouldn't be if they didn't believe they could do it. All the advice I've ever gotten says "confidence is attractive". My very minimal experiences agree.

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1. Your definition of "bad personality" is a girl who tried to kill herself. That is just not fair. You probably think everyone with any kind of emotional struggle, including Aspergers, has a bad personality. And, given your definition of "bad personality," I have every bit as much right to be offended as you do (I once tried to kill myself), but I'm not, so I suggest you don't get offended either.

2. I have to agree with you, but how many are like that?

3. Get real. Who doesn't drink these days?

he is entitled to date whoever he wants to date without you nagging him. i dont drink although hit;s not a deal-breaker for me. I dont like smokers or potheads those are deal breakers although ive been desperate enough to let those slide if they were occasional

Life's not fair in general.

If you ask me, a girl (or GUY, even though I'm not gay or bi) who constantly threatens suicide and self-harm just to have things her way is not someone I'd want to be in a relationship with anyway. Talk about emotional drainage.

Are you moaning?

You're embarrassing me!

I agree. He's entitled to date whomever he wants. But then it's a little silly to come on here and complain when he won't even consider women who drink socially (90% of women. The other 10% are probably fundies who think that Aspergers is caused by demon possession).

Judging people who smoke pot is kind of ridiculous too. In my city, that's close to 100% of the under 30 population. So do what you want, but then don't come on here and complain about not being able to get a date

Last edited by Tyri0n on 08 Dec 2012, 1:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If they're using it as manipulation, sure. If they just do it once or twice, then it's not fair to say they have a "bad personality" the rest of the time.

These comments about drinking, smoking, pot, and depression are not only silly if the point is to complain about not getting a date, they are also highly offensive.

your town is full of losers then. pot smokers are losers. If it's so offensive stop smoking weed. weed is a choice. you choose to be a loser. Not to mention the smell...

Well, that's between you and him then. I'm only pointing out that life just isn't fair and it's not up to you to decide who gets to like who.