To all Aspie men who are angry with women.

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I can say that about my ex-wife as well. Plus, the fact she gave me endless compliments about how well I treated her and how happy she was with me greatly weakens Aridarr's argument that it was my fault.

Last edited by Ragtime on 31 Aug 2007, 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think what this thread really shows is just how carefully people need to read things. What the OP is describing isn't a realistic view of what guys here are thinking as much as an outside view of what it looks like - particularly reminiscent as well of what anyone feels when they're gender is under fire in a thread or post. Not harping on her, anyone's just as capable of having it happen to them if they aren't vigilant of that sort of thing.

Last edited by techstepgenr8tion on 31 Aug 2007, 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, some of us men like to stand on only two legs. My sense of dignity is usually what causes women to lose interest when at first they look in my direction and smile.

I also have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to blatant disrespect / under-valuing of me.

Last edited by Ragtime on 31 Aug 2007, 3:51 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Aridarr, I'll say this - I agree with 90% of what your saying regarding the fact that no one, male or female, really have full control over what they're attracted to and I think the people who are the lucky ones actually are those that have more degrees of freedom in what they're nervous system, psychology, or whatever will allow them to be attracted to.

I think the biggest draw backs however come less from not knowing how to make another person happy and more from having a natural set of instinct, reward and punishment, or emotional flow of things that's highly atypical - makes it very difficult to have the same feelings or speak the same language. Even we as aspies, I look at us and realize that many of us aren't even close to being in the same headspace as far as how we feel the world. The other problem too is that AS is highly neurological, there are a lot of behavioral grid-lock issues where no matter how much you know or what you really have it in your head to do, even if you can read nonverbals off of other people great, what you are physically able to put outward can be severely restricting (particularly when it messes with how genuine people can perceive you as) - that's unfortunately a permanent dead end where you can't really do anything aside from just go through life, try to be in as many places as possible, and hope by random chance that something will eventually work.

Through all these jams though I don't think many guys here really hate women or feel like its their fault, if they do then I'm guessing more than likely they've never been in the spot to where they turned someone away that they wanted to like. For the most part though people do vent and vent a lot here, its not an easy area of life for any of us - so I think the best way to see it is as just that, whether its guys harping on women or women harping on guys in certain threads (generally, not back and forth at eachother) its best to just take it as that and not identify ourselves as being attacked.

Now that I think about it, I've never really been "rejected" because I've never asked anyone out before. I don't really know if I can.

Sometimes it is them. None of it makes sense. With me its them. Her I should say. It's like a game, and I think I'd rather not deal with it.

Women suck

I'm similar - I have a near zero-tollerance level in that sorta respect...
I say near because I'm a forgiving guy, but now I've decided I'll only put up with something once. Any more than once and bam! I'm outta there lol.

I'm more in it for logic.
I doubt I'm alone when I say that I let my head rule over my heart. Surely there are others like this?

Same, attraction starts in my head for me.

Yes, naturally.

Edit: I'm beginning to wish that I hadn't started this argument... I suppose I felt I had an important point to make. But I'm willing to admit I may have been too forceful at first.

A lot of what I said in my initial message may have sounded like criticism against men; I assure you, it was not intended as such. I got overly enthusiastic and didn't take into consideration the sensitivity of some of the people here.

Last edited by Aridarr on 31 Aug 2007, 5:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, too much so for me. I've finally gotten used to the idea of having to defend someone right or wrong - with some limits of course. As for letting someone into my life, we'd have to be a mutual benefit to eachother; people want to say it takes a long time to figure that out and how can I know if I don't date someone - well, with years of life with this condition as experience I've gotten to understand what types of people are capable of understanding and which generally aren't, may take a bit of talking to them but definitely doesn't take a few months of dating.

The problem with the mind ruling the heart and the gonads, it flies straight in the face of natural law, and for all we've achieved with technology or social complexity we still haven't deviated a bit from how we were built to function in caves. Also, sadly when you look at the natural end of it its not built to be happy and it tends to be built on one person controlling the other; the idea of mutual give and take, respect, and especially adding to eachother's lives is fairly modern and unfortunately just leaves most real people jaded while the animals (meaning people-animals) seem to go on owning the earth.

See, I don't blame women for rejecting me. I blame myself for being so stupid that I even dared to presume they'd want to touch me in anything other than a platonic way.

Well, maybe it's not quite that bad, but I have never maintained any ill-feelings towards girls who've turned me down (which pretty much means every girl to whom I've worked up the courage to express any interest) while I have frequently kicked bloody chunks out of my self-esteem for putting myself in that situation in the first place.

One benefit of working from the mind... you can find beauty in those that other men tend to reject.

I don't need someone super attractive... and many other aspects of their personality comes before I even consider looks. If I am looking at someone that I can be happy with for the rest of my life... I am sure not going to worry about looks. At worst I'll just end up getting used to their looks... if their personality is poison... she'll either harm me... or I'll go insane.

Also, it's interesting to note... that these "loser" guys mentioned in this thread and the cocky jerks... both put the blame on the woman for rejection.

Losers say: why doesn't she want to be with me... I'm so nice.... women are evil... etc.

Jerks say: if she doesn't want to be with me, her loss... I'm so awesome.

Well I'm not sure Pugly... I'm not one of those 2 types but I can relate to both and I have felt like both types at points. I mean someone's view on women and/or themselves might be based entirely on certain experiences. They may be so unlucky as to not have come across decent women.