Giving up on women?

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Wow, never said I smoked weed. I maybe have a few times, but I don't even like it (it makes me sick). It's not offensive not to smoke weed. It's offensive to call everyone who does it a "loser."

Could it be that the types of women open-minded enough date aspies also happen to be open-minded enough to be turned off by some of the narrow-minded attitudes on this board? Those who are open to to me (neurological diversity), in my experience, tend to be open-minded in other ways also. So calling it a deal-breaker over dumb stuff like smoking pot or social drinking is kind of a bad case of foot-and-mouth disease (something we on the spectrum are all prone to).

im not into drugs and idont want to be around a druggie. drinking is fine, it's in a glass and idont need to deal with it and ican go to a restaurant while they drink. I will admit i prefer non drinkers. Also drinkers and potheads always try to pressure people into drinking and smoking. I used to hang out with a bunch of people from a social anxiety board and they all tried pressuring me into drinking.

I gave up one month after I turned 22 (2 months ago), right after a rejection that made me realize I am not all that interested in women. Not only because I am a terrible person to be with, but also because there is nobody I find interesting enough to feel attracted to.

Avoidant Personality Disorder by any chance?

You always seem to put yourself down every few sentences you make.

You have a good point. Maybe?

Is avoidant personality disorder something that spins off AS?

Please stop twisting my words. I will thank you kindly to do so.

1. My definition of "bad personality" is not that she tried to kill herself. What I was trying to say was this girl was a lying, manipulative harpy. She gets all depressed, tries to off herself, ends up with another guy (this guy actually loved her too!) then when the first guy comes crawling back she decides "oh I'm gonna get back with this jerk and leave the good guy in the dust." The only reason I mentioned the "killing herself" part is because it showed how mentally unstable the girl was. Not for wanting to kill herself, but what she did after the fact. And now she's turning around flirting with me. That is a HUGE turnoff and a good indicator of someone with an abhorrent personality. If you go from suicidal to just plain out-and-out manipulation at the flip of a switch, there is something wrong.

2. Not many, from what I can tell. But if there's no affection then you might as well just be friends. Affection is the difference between friendship and more than....friendship.

3. You'd be surprised. Why is it that I list this as a dealbreaker? Because hardly anybody knows the meaning of the word "moderation." One drink leads to two drinks which leads to three and so on and so forth. In every case I've seen this has happened, even with people who just try drinking once. I watched this s**t happen with my parents and damn near everyone else I knew who drank alcohol. And it always has the effect of making people very boring and annoying to be around. Not to mention you have to clean up the mess they make if they get sick or pee everywhere. And like wtfid2 said, they tend to try to make non-drinkers drink. Lord help you if you say no because then you'll get told that you're boring for not drinking. The difference is, if people drink, I let them be and get the hell away from them. Drinkers don't extend the same courtesy to me.

Now you'll maybe find some way to twist the words in this post too.

While it is possible for one to have both AvPD and Asperger's, they're still two separate things. One is a genetic predisposition; the other is more triggered by personal experiences (especially as a young child).

A lot of NTs, and people with AS, have it.

MCalavera thank you for your reply.

I was told by a shrink, that I have avoidant personality disorder too. I don't personally think I do, and my theory is, he didn't know enough about AS, and had to put me into a box. Any box.

Well, if you're sure you don't consistently fit the criteria, overall, for AvPD and you don't have a history of behavior clearly defining this personality disorder, then you are in the right for rejecting his diagnosis of you.

I know some shrinks can be idiots and not qualified to make a diagnosis.

MCalavera, I have difficulty in socialising and with relationships in general, however, I am *not* reluctant to become involved with people, and I *don't* hold back in intimate relationships. My main problems are, that I have sensory overloads when in crowds, and I am disinterested in chit-chat. I am also extremely sensitive to noise, light touch and certain textures and smells.

AS can be comorbid with other things(several things happening at once...) if you are concerned by his words definately do some research on the field and youll be sure if he was just trying to put you on any box or he had a point and youll feel much better about things

Thank you Spongy ((( ))).

Based on what you say here, doesn't sound like AvPD.

This is probably a weird question, but why do you say I always put myself down for every few sentences I make? Was my bitterness always this obvious or is it recent? I was sure I was doing a good job in not looking bitter.

I don't see it as bitterness. More like inferiority complex. A lot of the posts I've read from you, especially when it comes to topics to do with relationships and personal stuff pertaining to you, you seem like you've given up in life and come to this "realization" that it's because you're just not worth much success.

It's like you don't love yourself much.