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pretending to be in a relationship to look more attractive

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Stalk
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26 Jan 2013, 11:42 am

hyperlexian wrote:
so i dunno. maybe it's not enough women to make a difference anyways. maybe it's sexually competitive women who like men like that. for me, if i felt like i had to compete in any way, i opted out altogether. i figured the guy either wants me or not, and i don't need the stress of worrying about some other woman.

how long does it take you to make this decision or to suspect that the guy is in a relationship?



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26 Jan 2013, 4:43 pm

Anomiel wrote:
Telekon wrote:
Women are famous for using men to boost their status. [...] Women are obsessed with this crap, while men just want pretty girls, but we're the ones who get called "shallow"!


You can't expect to post such hateful remarks and not have a single person take issue with it. I'm just the one calling it out.


You're reading something into my statements that isn't there. I wrote the entire post in a cool-headed state of mind (not that it matters - I could have written it in spite and it still would have been accurate).

You really should drop the assumption that everyone is as emotionally invested in their opinions as you. It may surprise you to learn that not everyone operates internally like you, including men on the autistic spectrum.



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26 Jan 2013, 4:47 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
you know, i was not aware it was used in PUA materials, because i don't read PUA stuff. i wonder if it is only effective for initial attraction?

i guess one other problem is that it only works on one small set of women and not the rest. for me, if a guy was in a current relationship, he may as well have been gay. but if he was single, it was like he was golden. i dated virginal guys who never had relationships before too. but i do see and observe something similar around me, and i think a guy in demand will seem more attractive to _some_ women... but not the rest.

so i dunno. maybe it's not enough women to make a difference anyways. maybe it's sexually competitive women who like men like that. for me, if i felt like i had to compete in any way, i opted out altogether. i figured the guy either wants me or not, and i don't need the stress of worrying about some other woman.


You still deny the alpha-seeking instinct in female humans, that's why you're not getting it.

And that's why the instinct doesn't exist in male as the studies shows (men don't see taken women are more attractive).

I know what type of thinkers you are; I'll elaborate later about that.



Telekon
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26 Jan 2013, 5:00 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You still deny the alpha-seeking instinct in female humans, that's why you're not getting it.

And that's why the instinct doesn't exist in male as the studies shows (men don't see taken women are more attractive).

I know what type of thinkers you are; I'll elaborate later about that.


You can't reason with some of these people. If you point out that women are attracted to different qualities in a mate than men, they'll say that you hate women. That's how deep in denial they are.



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26 Jan 2013, 5:11 pm

Telekon wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You still deny the alpha-seeking instinct in female humans, that's why you're not getting it.

And that's why the instinct doesn't exist in male as the studies shows (men don't see taken women are more attractive).

I know what type of thinkers you are; I'll elaborate later about that.


You can't reason with some of these people. If you point out that women are attracted to different qualities in a mate than men, they'll say that you hate women. That's how deep in denial they are.

you were not using reason, you were this thread as an excuse to throw around some sexism. don't bother.


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hyperlexian
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26 Jan 2013, 5:15 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
you know, i was not aware it was used in PUA materials, because i don't read PUA stuff. i wonder if it is only effective for initial attraction?

i guess one other problem is that it only works on one small set of women and not the rest. for me, if a guy was in a current relationship, he may as well have been gay. but if he was single, it was like he was golden. i dated virginal guys who never had relationships before too. but i do see and observe something similar around me, and i think a guy in demand will seem more attractive to _some_ women... but not the rest.

so i dunno. maybe it's not enough women to make a difference anyways. maybe it's sexually competitive women who like men like that. for me, if i felt like i had to compete in any way, i opted out altogether. i figured the guy either wants me or not, and i don't need the stress of worrying about some other woman.


You still deny the alpha-seeking instinct in female humans, that's why you're not getting it.

And that's why the instinct doesn't exist in male as the studies shows (men don't see taken women are more attractive).

I know what type of thinkers you are; I'll elaborate later about that.

it doesn't work for me, so there's that. if only alpha men got dates, that would be a lot of lonely men out there! people are not apes, they are capable of conscious thought. and perhaps different people are driven by different sets of instincts, or at least by a different subsets of desires. i do not desire other women's men, and i think many/most women feel the same way. but i thought it might be worth a shot to try to attract the ones who do.

the study showed that not all women had the same interest in taken men, you may have noticed. it was only the set of single women in that study. and we already know that some men poach on attached women - we don't need a study to demonstrate it, as there is a dating site devoted to their desires. they exist as well. but neither these men, nor their female counterparts, are universal. they are simply SOME of the men and women, not all - it is a mistake to overgeneralise.


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26 Jan 2013, 5:20 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
you know, i was not aware it was used in PUA materials, because i don't read PUA stuff. i wonder if it is only effective for initial attraction?

i guess one other problem is that it only works on one small set of women and not the rest. for me, if a guy was in a current relationship, he may as well have been gay. but if he was single, it was like he was golden. i dated virginal guys who never had relationships before too. but i do see and observe something similar around me, and i think a guy in demand will seem more attractive to _some_ women... but not the rest.

so i dunno. maybe it's not enough women to make a difference anyways. maybe it's sexually competitive women who like men like that. for me, if i felt like i had to compete in any way, i opted out altogether. i figured the guy either wants me or not, and i don't need the stress of worrying about some other woman.


You still deny the alpha-seeking instinct in female humans, that's why you're not getting it.

And that's why the instinct doesn't exist in male as the studies shows (men don't see taken women are more attractive).

I know what type of thinkers you are; I'll elaborate later about that.

it doesn't work for me, so there's that. if only alpha men got dates, that would be a lot of lonely men out there! people are not apes, they are capable of conscious thought. and perhaps different people are driven by different sets of instincts, or at least by a different subsets of desires. i do not desire other women's men, and i think many/most women feel the same way. but i thought it might be worth a shot to try to attract the ones who do.

the study showed that not all women had the same interest in taken men, you may have noticed. it was only the set of single women in that study. and we already know that some men poach on attached women - we don't need a study to demonstrate it, as there is a dating site devoted to their desires. they exist as well. but neither these men, nor their female counterparts, are universal. they are simply SOME of the men and women, not all - it is a mistake to overgeneralise.


:hail:



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26 Jan 2013, 5:28 pm

Well, I've always believed that if he (or she!) cheats with you, they'll cheat on you. And going by what I have seen, that seems to work out as true in about 90% of cases.

Mind you, I'm pretty turned-off by alpha males. I like the shyer, gentler, altogether sweeter kind of simian myself. :lol:



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26 Jan 2013, 5:33 pm

I would rather be celibate than be in a relationship with a woman like that. It would be all stress and drama and no fun.



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26 Jan 2013, 5:44 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
you know, i was not aware it was used in PUA materials, because i don't read PUA stuff. i wonder if it is only effective for initial attraction?

i guess one other problem is that it only works on one small set of women and not the rest. for me, if a guy was in a current relationship, he may as well have been gay. but if he was single, it was like he was golden. i dated virginal guys who never had relationships before too. but i do see and observe something similar around me, and i think a guy in demand will seem more attractive to _some_ women... but not the rest.

so i dunno. maybe it's not enough women to make a difference anyways. maybe it's sexually competitive women who like men like that. for me, if i felt like i had to compete in any way, i opted out altogether. i figured the guy either wants me or not, and i don't need the stress of worrying about some other woman.


You still deny the alpha-seeking instinct in female humans, that's why you're not getting it.

And that's why the instinct doesn't exist in male as the studies shows (men don't see taken women are more attractive).

I know what type of thinkers you are; I'll elaborate later about that.

it doesn't work for me, so there's that. if only alpha men got dates, that would be a lot of lonely men out there! people are not apes, they are capable of conscious thought. and perhaps different people are driven by different sets of instincts, or at least by a different subsets of desires. i do not desire other women's men, and i think many/most women feel the same way. but i thought it might be worth a shot to try to attract the ones who do.

the study showed that not all women had the same interest in taken men, you may have noticed. it was only the set of single women in that study. and we already know that some men poach on attached women - we don't need a study to demonstrate it, as there is a dating site devoted to their desires. they exist as well. but neither these men, nor their female counterparts, are universal. they are simply SOME of the men and women, not all - it is a mistake to overgeneralise.


There's always a set of variations among a generation of some population in a species, it's a fundamental element in evolution, some have origins older than others (back to the ape age) than others.
Humans have evolved from polygamous to socially monogamous species and probably still evolving toward monogamy.

But at the end we're still apes :lol:.



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26 Jan 2013, 5:46 pm

Anomiel wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
you know, i was not aware it was used in PUA materials, because i don't read PUA stuff. i wonder if it is only effective for initial attraction?

i guess one other problem is that it only works on one small set of women and not the rest. for me, if a guy was in a current relationship, he may as well have been gay. but if he was single, it was like he was golden. i dated virginal guys who never had relationships before too. but i do see and observe something similar around me, and i think a guy in demand will seem more attractive to _some_ women... but not the rest.

so i dunno. maybe it's not enough women to make a difference anyways. maybe it's sexually competitive women who like men like that. for me, if i felt like i had to compete in any way, i opted out altogether. i figured the guy either wants me or not, and i don't need the stress of worrying about some other woman.


You still deny the alpha-seeking instinct in female humans, that's why you're not getting it.

And that's why the instinct doesn't exist in male as the studies shows (men don't see taken women are more attractive).

I know what type of thinkers you are; I'll elaborate later about that.

it doesn't work for me, so there's that. if only alpha men got dates, that would be a lot of lonely men out there! people are not apes, they are capable of conscious thought. and perhaps different people are driven by different sets of instincts, or at least by a different subsets of desires. i do not desire other women's men, and i think many/most women feel the same way. but i thought it might be worth a shot to try to attract the ones who do.

the study showed that not all women had the same interest in taken men, you may have noticed. it was only the set of single women in that study. and we already know that some men poach on attached women - we don't need a study to demonstrate it, as there is a dating site devoted to their desires. they exist as well. but neither these men, nor their female counterparts, are universal. they are simply SOME of the men and women, not all - it is a mistake to overgeneralise.


:hail:


If that thread was started by a male I bet your attitude would be totally different here.

Hmm, mine too, but just because he wouldn't be hyperlexian and not because of gender (which was an unexpected surprise that she even thought of that idea and to suggest it).



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26 Jan 2013, 5:55 pm

(also, i apologise for speaking in heteronormative dating terms. it is exclusionary and it made me cringe when i realised how often i was doing it. it's not too cool, and it makes it hard to have a properly inclusive dialogue)


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26 Jan 2013, 6:03 pm

Isn't the subject of this thread referring to guys that are "players"?(or ones that pretend to be) I've never heard a woman called a player before. And why are players always referred to as "pick up artists" on this board? Must be the nerdy sounding autistic term for it or something.

Anyways women often must assume that guys are "players" that already have attractive girlfriends.



Last edited by Venger on 26 Jan 2013, 10:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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26 Jan 2013, 6:17 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
(also, i apologise for speaking in heteronormative dating terms. it is exclusionary and it made me cringe when i realised how often i was doing it. it's not too cool, and it makes it hard to have a properly inclusive dialogue)


No need, the heteronormative dating thing is a reality, whether we like it or not.



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26 Jan 2013, 6:22 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Anomiel wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
you know, i was not aware it was used in PUA materials, because i don't read PUA stuff. i wonder if it is only effective for initial attraction?

i guess one other problem is that it only works on one small set of women and not the rest. for me, if a guy was in a current relationship, he may as well have been gay. but if he was single, it was like he was golden. i dated virginal guys who never had relationships before too. but i do see and observe something similar around me, and i think a guy in demand will seem more attractive to _some_ women... but not the rest.

so i dunno. maybe it's not enough women to make a difference anyways. maybe it's sexually competitive women who like men like that. for me, if i felt like i had to compete in any way, i opted out altogether. i figured the guy either wants me or not, and i don't need the stress of worrying about some other woman.


You still deny the alpha-seeking instinct in female humans, that's why you're not getting it.

And that's why the instinct doesn't exist in male as the studies shows (men don't see taken women are more attractive).

I know what type of thinkers you are; I'll elaborate later about that.

it doesn't work for me, so there's that. if only alpha men got dates, that would be a lot of lonely men out there! people are not apes, they are capable of conscious thought. and perhaps different people are driven by different sets of instincts, or at least by a different subsets of desires. i do not desire other women's men, and i think many/most women feel the same way. but i thought it might be worth a shot to try to attract the ones who do.

the study showed that not all women had the same interest in taken men, you may have noticed. it was only the set of single women in that study. and we already know that some men poach on attached women - we don't need a study to demonstrate it, as there is a dating site devoted to their desires. they exist as well. but neither these men, nor their female counterparts, are universal. they are simply SOME of the men and women, not all - it is a mistake to overgeneralise.


:hail:


If that thread was started by a male I bet your attitude would be totally different here.

Hmm, mine too, but just because he wouldn't be hyperlexian and not because of gender (which was an unexpected surprise that she even thought of that idea and to suggest it).


I can talk about statistics, if they are factual and reasonable, and I know the person it is coming from is not some a**hole misogynist. I would not like that study if it was followed by lots of BS about "aLpHa MaLeS" and evo-psych and how all women are so horrible and "MRA and PUA sites rules!!!11!". As for the recent thing Hyperlexian wrote that I responded to, if you dislike when someone says that "it is bad to overgeneralize" then that is your problem, not mine. Also, you saying you don't "see gender" is a lot like white people saying they don't "see race".



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26 Jan 2013, 6:34 pm

Anomiel wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Anomiel wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
you know, i was not aware it was used in PUA materials, because i don't read PUA stuff. i wonder if it is only effective for initial attraction?

i guess one other problem is that it only works on one small set of women and not the rest. for me, if a guy was in a current relationship, he may as well have been gay. but if he was single, it was like he was golden. i dated virginal guys who never had relationships before too. but i do see and observe something similar around me, and i think a guy in demand will seem more attractive to _some_ women... but not the rest.

so i dunno. maybe it's not enough women to make a difference anyways. maybe it's sexually competitive women who like men like that. for me, if i felt like i had to compete in any way, i opted out altogether. i figured the guy either wants me or not, and i don't need the stress of worrying about some other woman.


You still deny the alpha-seeking instinct in female humans, that's why you're not getting it.

And that's why the instinct doesn't exist in male as the studies shows (men don't see taken women are more attractive).

I know what type of thinkers you are; I'll elaborate later about that.

it doesn't work for me, so there's that. if only alpha men got dates, that would be a lot of lonely men out there! people are not apes, they are capable of conscious thought. and perhaps different people are driven by different sets of instincts, or at least by a different subsets of desires. i do not desire other women's men, and i think many/most women feel the same way. but i thought it might be worth a shot to try to attract the ones who do.

the study showed that not all women had the same interest in taken men, you may have noticed. it was only the set of single women in that study. and we already know that some men poach on attached women - we don't need a study to demonstrate it, as there is a dating site devoted to their desires. they exist as well. but neither these men, nor their female counterparts, are universal. they are simply SOME of the men and women, not all - it is a mistake to overgeneralise.


:hail:


If that thread was started by a male I bet your attitude would be totally different here.

Hmm, mine too, but just because he wouldn't be hyperlexian and not because of gender (which was an unexpected surprise that she even thought of that idea and to suggest it).


I can talk about statistics, if they are factual and reasonable, and I know the person it is coming from is not some as*hole misogynist. I would not like that study if it was followed by lots of BS about "aLpHa MaLeS" and evo-psych and how all women are so horrible and "MRA and PUA sites rules!!!11!". As for the recent thing Hyperlexian wrote that I responded to, if you dislike when someone says that "it is bad to overgeneralize" then that is your problem, not mine. Also, you saying you don't "see gender" is a lot like white people saying they don't "see race".


What assumption BS is that, I am done with you. Good day.