Terrified of being in a relationship - aspie trait or me?

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I really wish I could, but have been doing the analyzing thing so long that it's second nature. Of course my filter drops, but because I want to be a good friend, I also want to make them feel good when they are sharing with me. When it comes to me talking about things going on in my life - with my friends and family - asking for advice, the analyzing stops (unless like a blaring one comes up e.g. 'sitting back and crossing arms' - that usually is a good sign to stop talking). I didn't mean it in that way, but conversations are give and take and to reciprocate the effort they put into me, I don't think a friendship could work if I didn't do the same for them. They also understand that I sometimes cancel at the last moment - because I'm already tired. They get that it would not be good for either of us if I came to meet them then. So I really am myself as much as I can be with them. I don't feel stressed when I am with them.

This guy is superb because he's a gentleman. Like lets you walk on the inside of the street, helps you into your coat, slides out the chair,... But maybe that's just the Hollywood dream? I don't know. My dad was a gentleman. Maybe it's biological But dating is inherently 'putting your best foot forward'. No?
And like GayAspieBoi said: maybe it shouldn't feel this difficult even initially. For him it clicked. Maybe it should have for me too if it was right?