To all Aspie men who are angry with women.

Page 4 of 18 [ 288 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ... 18 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Todd489
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 997

31 Aug 2007, 5:32 pm

MrSinister wrote:

See, I don't blame women for rejecting me. I blame myself for being so stupid that I even dared to presume they'd want to touch me in anything other than a platonic way.

Well at least you still believe that someone could like you in a non-physical way. I don't even have that.

Pugly
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Jan 2005
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,174
Location: Wisconsin

31 Aug 2007, 5:40 pm

samtoo wrote:

Well I'm not sure Pugly... I'm not one of those 2 types but I can relate to both and I have felt like both types at points. I mean someone's view on women and/or themselves might be based entirely on certain experiences. They may be so unlucky as to not have come across decent women.

That's the biggest piece of truth... and the OP's main point... I think. That every one is different... and nothing works generally across the board.

It's hard not to try to change your approach after failure though... Even if you are perfectly fine in a relationship... and the other is crazy... your approach will still change because you won't go with someone that reminds you of the crazy one.

And guys, trying to find a cohesive whole to all of this... probably confuse all women together. Some just flat out reject... others go for the more aggressive guys. In men's brains... all past rejection gets lumped into one experience... and it doesn't make sense.

I think the best advice is just be confident and okay with yourself... not beat yourself up over getting rejected. In fact, I want to go out on a date...and just assume I am going to be rejected... and be perfectly okay with that. My goal is to provide the most material to make jokes about me to her girlfriends...

... "you won't believe the kind of night I just had... "

_________________
Wonder what it feels like to be in love?
How would you describe it, like a push or shove?
Guess I could pretend that this is all I need
Wanting more than what I have might appear as greed.

Aridarr
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Sep 2005
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,294
Location: Over the stars...?

31 Aug 2007, 5:58 pm

Pugly wrote:

samtoo wrote:

That's the biggest piece of truth... and the OP's main point... I think. That every one is different... and nothing works generally across the board.

I think that was my point. Although, I'm so exausted right now even I'm not sure.

snake321
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Mar 2006
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,135

31 Aug 2007, 7:10 pm

Well then too it's hard for most women to truely understand what it's like to be intimately isolated and rejected their entire lives. Because the man has to do all the courting, a woman can just sit back and choose her prospects. All the pressure is on the man really. When a woman says she can't find a man, she usually means she can't find a man who can meet her high standards, aspie or NT, whereas when a guy says he can't find a woman, he means he can't find a woman.
Women are the gate bearers to sensuality and sexuality, women call the shots, women make the decision if things will go to the next stage or not, not the man. Women are in control of those situations.
I know, what I'm saying isn't "politically correct", but it's true. Yeah, some men treat women badly, but women go for those guys, over and over and over again. I also think it's dumb that a man gets treated like a god for getting a lot of play, whereas a woman gets called a slut (so you can score one point there for females in this victimology game so many people seem to get a kick out of, but honestly I'm not trying to play victimology because I think it's an immature game).
I just don't think a woman, be she aspie or not, is in a place to tell an aspie man (or even a NT man who can't find a woman for some other reason) of what theyr doing wrong, because a woman will tell you what she **thinks** she wants, not what she really wants. And women can get dates a thousand times easier, generally speaking, than men. If your gonna flame me, then flame me, I'm just telling the truth.

snake321
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Mar 2006
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,135

31 Aug 2007, 7:17 pm

I'm not angry at women, I'm just loosing my ability to give a crap anymore.

techstepgenr8tion
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,593
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi

31 Aug 2007, 7:45 pm

Nah, despite it all I still love ya ladies (((lots of warm hugs and kisses)))

Humanity and the sh--boxes our souls are trapped in are the real problem

juliekitty
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Jun 2006
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,540

31 Aug 2007, 7:59 pm

agreed

Veresae
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,023

31 Aug 2007, 8:34 pm

I agree with most of this, but I think I have a right to be angry or depressed if a girl I have a huge crush on doesn't feel the same way. I don't think it's her problem, and I do not blame her, for I know she cannot help it, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a right to be angry about it. Now imagine that being every girl I've ever liked like that--do I not have a right to be angry with the way that girls have treated me in general? Again, I would not blame them, but I still have a right to be angry about it.

And I think I COULD make a partner happy, if she and I were compatible and had enough things in common. I'm very romantic, I make people laugh a lot...and you know, those girls have issues too. Everyone has issues. I'd be happy to put up with hers if she put up with mine....

Also, regarding generalizations: sometimes they're true. There are always exceptions, and thank god for the exceptions, but if we're speaking in general terms here...hell, many girls AGREE with certain generalizations about their gender. (Ironically that in itself is a generalization, but in my experience, it's true.)

Papillon
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Mar 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 651
Location: Ottawa, Canada

31 Aug 2007, 10:19 pm

Aridarr wrote:

Whenever any of you makes the claim that all girls/women are like this, or that, you are utterly wrong.

The way that women treat you is more a reflection on yourself than on the gender itself; just as the way that men treat me says more about me than the male gender.

Sorry guys; it's not them; it's you.

Think about it; if you met an overweight, unattractive girl, you would treat her badly in comparison to a beautiful supermodel type.

These women are doing the same as you would in that situation.

If a woman rejects you, it isn't because women are unfair; it is because you don't make her happy.

That is what love is about; being with someone who makes you happy. Neither women nor men have control over who makes them happy. If someone rejects you, they are not being judgemental, or bigoted. They are just obeying their emotional reaction to you as a person. Why should anyone tolerate a romantic partner who doesn't make them happy?

That is why aspies have so much trouble in romance; they don't understand what it is that makes others happy as well as other people do.

And if a woman is unkind in her rejection of you; it could be because she has her own life and set of priorities that don't include you.

Just as you may have all the time in the world for one girl and ignore another; they are the same.

People (meaning women and men), especially in romance, tend towards behaviour that causes emotional distress to others. This doesn't mean that they are bad people, or playing games with your emotions; in most situations, they are probably just confused.

As people, none of you are socially perfect; many of you upset people without meaning to.

So-called 'neurotypicals' are no different; they make mistakes too.

And rightly so!

Sorry guys; it's not them; it's you. They are just your mirrors.

I can relate to that. For longer than I care to mention I went through a trend of not giving a hoot, even got to be quite a hit-and-run lover at one point, but that was "way back then", this is NOW. Okay, so you have a tic I have a tic, and NOW with this age of information, it is very well exposed. Accept it, live with it, and LOVE it! After all, what else are you doing here at WP? To the tune of that Merle Haggard song: I'm proud to be an Aspie from Aspergia

You know what? A lot of girls find it original :wink:

_________________
If "manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say

**Sting, Englishman In New York

jkrane
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 737
Location: 39uqlksdj3ujadlskd

01 Sep 2007, 1:47 am

My theory is that a lot of NT people are just plain stupid when it comes to relationships. Both guys and girls can be absolute idiots....

lol...here's a good example.

Put a profile on plentyoffish.com for dating...this girl said she was looking for a gentleman.

Great conversations for a while...then she's all..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"..."I'm busy"....

I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE BUSY DUMB b***h!! !! ! IF SHE'S SO GOD DAMN BUSY, WHY THE f**k WOULD SHE PUT A PROFILE ON PLENTYOFFISH.COM LOOKING FOR A GUY, IF SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO TALK IN THE FIRST PLACE????! !! !

IF SHE HAD HALF A BRAIN IN HER f*****g HEAD, SHE WOULDN'T HAVE PUT ANYTHING ON THAT SITE IN THE FIRST PLACE. WOULDN'T HAVE STARTED CONVERSATIONS WITH ME ON MSN, AND WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT A LOT MORE OBVIOUS THAT SHE WASN'T INTERESTED!! !! !!!I HOPE SHE BURNS IN f*****g HELL!! !! ! I HOPE ALL THESE STUPID GIRLS BURN IN HELL FOR THEIR MIND GAMES!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

I'M SO PISSED OFF I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT!! !! !

techstepgenr8tion
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,593
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi

01 Sep 2007, 3:24 am

Papillon wrote:

And rightly so!

Sorry guys; it's not them; it's you. They are just your mirrors.

Is it that or is it a reflection of what the woman thinks of the guy being reflected back at him? PS I'm drunk right now, usually wouldn't ask that kind of question, but it seems like everything is filtered through gender misinterpretation - a guy can know what biases women may have toward him based on his superficials but his superficials aren't what governs his identity. Just as it is for women, there's a whole other side of life than the relationship world and the relationship world or how the other sex really judges someone's attractiveness. That being the case I can't say that someone else, especially as antipathetic as the game is on the onset, can really tell a person who they are and I don't think they themselves really have a clue aside from just abiding by their initial biases - which is THEY'RE own personal take on the truth but not the whole broad-based one truth to one truth reality that we all live in.

Last edited by techstepgenr8tion on 01 Sep 2007, 3:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

Cyanide
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,003
Location: The Pacific Northwest

01 Sep 2007, 3:30 am

My ex used me because she was "lonely" and wanted to go to prom, but she was too young. That isn't my fault in any way/shape/form.

samtoo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,762
Location: England

01 Sep 2007, 5:42 am

It's a big f*** off game all of it is. Play your cards right and reap the rewards, fail to do that and be stripped of your pride.

btw, I do believe that if you manage to find out things about yourself you're capable of this stuff.

I'm lucky to have found my strength to be able to do this. I reap the rewards and the opposite sometimes. This is why I use my football manager game as a metaphor for this - or gambling... or chess... anything of the sort.

You can pass with flying colours or fail spectacularly... or you can do both... the learning curb though - don't forget.
So far I haven't passed the group stages yet... but I did drop down to the UEFA Cup and reach the last 32 in my last relationship.
If I get with the person I'm trying to get with, I hope to reach the quarter finals of the Champions League... I think I have it in me... but it will be tough - hard as rusty nails. But I do believe I can break those goddam nails. XD lol

Stop me if I'm just making no sense I bable about this self chosen metaphor.

_________________
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.

TrueDave
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Jul 2007
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,062

01 Sep 2007, 6:33 am

here's the thing, Generalzations are valid. Generally speaking. It doesn't have to count 100 or even 80 percent of the time, but generally.

We need and are taught generalizations from childhood. Be nice to older folks. Obey a policeman, etc. These are reinforced in an NT world. A waitress is not supposed to be treated as an individual. When she asks "How are you folks?" she does not want an answer, you are a character in her day just as she is in yours and you both have roles to play.

Theres my rant on Generalizing.

Men as perverts, Ok we are hormonally insane. We don't want to be but there it is. Imagine the horror of being in heat 24/7 from the day you sprouted your first pubic hair. It's so bad I thought I should have a bumper sticker on my butt that says "I'd rather be haing sex", WHILE having sex.

My friend said we don't want sex we want the temporary release from the monkey on our back. He thinks every great work of music and poetry by man was probably written in the 20 minutes of lucidity after sex.

To put it simpliest: I was once watching a Cheetah on TV have sex. The commentator slowed down the video and said the male cheetah has to run at crazy speeds of 90 miles an hour or something.Imagine how strong the drive must be to do that! That lives in every one of us men. How we control the cheetah/monkey on our back is a demonstration in our personal ability to show restraint. Do women "generally" have an adolecence born addition that compares?

These angry brothers of mine are just riled up because they're junkies missing thier fix.

0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,038
Location: London

01 Sep 2007, 7:03 am

I think every now and then we say or think of something that sounds like a really insightful thing at the time but is actually fundamentally not profound in hindsight. I do it all the time and this rant is a good example IMO. No reason to loose sleep over it, it is good to get out in the open where people can discuss it.

Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

01 Sep 2007, 8:38 am

TheMidnightJudge wrote:

Women suck

Yes. Men seem to enjoy it when we do.

_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I

Page 4 of 18 [ 288 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ... 18 Next

Jump to:

To all Aspie men who are angry with women. Post Reply New Topic

To all Aspie men who are angry with women.