Oh girls have it so much worse....

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Sweetleaf
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23 Aug 2015, 11:00 pm

PillowSpider wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Peacesells wrote:

sly279 wrote:

then why can't a guy who makes less move in with her and share expenses? they can't but women wont let them because they say the guy would be mooching off them. i only turned what women say around back at them.

That is what you think, and it doesn't mean that is true. Most people are ok with a responsible person who can take care of himself. Most people who are so-so financially can still find gfs though because they are decent socially and can look interesting (even most aspies or fatties), but people like us are not able.

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well my family is my roomates. safer then strangers and helps them out.

Dude don't play dumb with me and stop being so self-indulgent, you know what I mean.

I'm not playing dumb. why can't family be roomates? they pay their half I pay my half. its the same as any other roomate situation.

not from any of the women I've seen. they don't want to talk to any guy who doesnt' make enough.

Seen or interacted with? granted there are many women like that...some of them though don't seem fully aware of it, like they are conditioned to think a guy has to make a lot of money to be appealing. Like the 'Im not shallow' people who would likely break up with their boyfriend/S.O if they slip into some money/financial hardship, but they wouldn't go and say 'I only accept guys who make enough' but when it comes down to it that is what it is. I certainly don't like that mentality. Though I would say most males aren't looking for poor women on welfare to date either but due to gender role crap...I think guys certainly get more judgement for things like that than women.

there's a vast difference between refusing to date any guy who isn't wealthy versus refusing to date any guy who isn't financially stable. The latter has more to do with whether a man is responsible/disciplined enough to live within his means.

I don't necessarily think guys get more judgement than girls regarding how much they earn in GENERAL... but there are tons of guys on this forum who have a HUGE issue with the fact that women won't date them because they are objectively dead broke, unemployed and/or are still living with mummy and daddy. Those are legit deal breakers for a not insignificant fraction of adult women, myself included.

Or they hate all fun -- museums, galleries, theatre, hiking, traveling, reading, local festivals, local sports teams, comic books, pub trivia -- and don't get how sitting in their room 99% of the time, refusing to engage in any outside the home activities dooms them to no social life!

I am not particularly financially stable, so for me that would not be a real deal-breaker, I mean how can I hold guys I'd date to a higher standard than what I live up to? And hell even if I was doing better for myself...not so sure even then it would be a deal breaker as I am not into traditional gender roles being forced plenty of men get with women who aren't as financially stable as them...so whats so wrong with women getting with guys who arent as financially stable? probably goes back to the idea men are supposed to provide for their wife...back when the workforce was mostly composed of males.

Also its not specifically how much they earn that guys get judged for more than women....its if they are collecting EBT, or on SSI or SSDI disability, or are currently unemployed where it more seems to be the case. Like it seems guys get judged more harshly for financial hardship than women...at least from what I have observed.

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Sweetleaf
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23 Aug 2015, 11:03 pm

Peacesells wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Of course people without aspergers can have other problems to, either way your average neurotypical does not struggle in the same ways your average person with aspergers does. I hate how people act like having a condition does not create any more difficulties for that person than a person without that condition.

I mean for instance it would be like like if I am talking to someone without PTSD and we conclude due to my PTSD I have an exaggerated startle response I can't control...then a loud noise goes off I jump and freeze up for like a minute and they tell me 'you're PTSD is no excuse for that kind of behavior' totally ignoring that the condition I have causes that difficulty that they don't experience. Seems like the same kind of logic is applied when people say things like 'everyone struggles' as a response to discussion of a specific struggle a certain group or individual has.

Well yes harder than the average neurotypical, maybe. I just don't see why we have to say that "life is difficult for people with Aspergers", when it is for everyone.

Because it means people with aspergers have difficulties neurotypicals do not face...I myself prefer more specific wording but that is what I imagine is meant even with that. And life is not all that difficult for everyone, of course everyone has difficulties but plenty of people seem to go along much more smoothly without running into as much as others.

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Sweetleaf
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23 Aug 2015, 11:08 pm

Crazyfool wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

1401b wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

So guys have trouble picking up a date....girls with their easy picking up of dates are more prone to rape, abuse, being taken advantage of for sex ect. all wonderful things the self identified 'forever alones' should be totally jealous of. Oh yeah geting unsolicitated hits on you from guys twice your age who only want sex is great....let me tell you, so much better than being single not :roll:

I mean really what do you guys think it is we chicks get so easily, and as if you can go out just dressed in normal casual comfy dress and get a date.....no women are expected to have make up on, wear an outfit that compliments their figure, or use weird undergarmet items to make your body appear more appealing as in the hour glass shape. Oh and its rude for a women to get offended by some street a** saying 'hey baby you're hot' when they are just trying to go about their buisiness......oh yes women have it so f*****g easy compared to men in all circumstances ever.

This "poor me" looks exactly like a romantic gambit to find a "knight in shinning armor."
Good luck, keep your chin up because that gambit usually does work.

Another one misses the satire....lol.

I don't think anyone is missing anything... you're being sarcistic about "how grande it is to be a female"...I get that but it just sounds like you're whining

It cannot sound like anything as its typing....lol, anyways that is part of it the threads I am being satirical about are whiny. That poster however did miss things such as this thread not being serious, and thinking i was actually pitying myself when I wrote this which simply was not the case I was very bored when I posted this.

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Peacesells
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23 Aug 2015, 11:21 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

It does not mean that, it means that Aspergians have a difficult life. So what, many other people have a difficult life, why would you put the stress on that. It makes it sound like life is easy for people who don't have Asperger.

marshall
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23 Aug 2015, 11:23 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

Also its not specifically how much they earn that guys get judged for more than women....its if they are collecting EBT, or on SSI or SSDI disability, or are currently unemployed where it more seems to be the case. Like it seems guys get judged more harshly for financial hardship than women...at least from what I have observed.

Yea. It does seem like guys with disabilities are treated worse than women with disabilities. They are more likely to go homeless because they are less cared about.

marshall
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23 Aug 2015, 11:27 pm

Peacesells wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Because ON AVERAGE IT IS EASIER, just like IT IS EASIER for people who don't have severe depression. Now pull your head out of your ass and stop being so f*****g insulting.

Peacesells
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23 Aug 2015, 11:46 pm

marshall wrote:

Because ON AVERAGE IT IS EASIER, just like IT IS EASIER for people who don't have severe depression. Now pull your head out of your ass and stop being so f*****g insulting.

I am not being insulting, we were having a conversation. You are being insulting.
Also what you said was my argument, we don't really disagree it seems.

Sweetleaf did I insult you or something?

marshall
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23 Aug 2015, 11:59 pm

Peacesells wrote:

marshall wrote:

Because ON AVERAGE IT IS EASIER, just like IT IS EASIER for people who don't have severe depression. Now pull your head out of your ass and stop being so f*****g insulting.

I am not being insulting, we were having a conversation. You are being insulting.
Also what you said was my argument, we don't really disagree it seems.

Sweetleaf did I insult you or something?

When you say "everyone has problems" you are basically telling the person to shut up and get over it. That's literally what you mean by "everyone has problems". It's not just an opinion. It's an invalidation and an insult, an attack. It's meant to hurt. It hurts because it shows gross lack of understanding.

marshall
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24 Aug 2015, 12:08 am

No. Not everyone has been suicidal. Not everyone knows what that is like. Not everyone has suffered the same. To pretend so is an insult. It's an insult that's intended to attack the person. It's intended to make them feel like whatever issue they have isn't worthy of even being considered (because, hey EVERYONE has problems... doi). It's intended to make the person feel small and even more vulnerable. It's an attack. Don't pretend it isn't.

Sweetleaf
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24 Aug 2015, 12:28 am

Peacesells wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Well in a lot of ways life is easier for people who don't have aspergers....generally speaking, that is why it is considered a disability.

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Sweetleaf
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24 Aug 2015, 12:35 am

marshall wrote:

Yes that most often seems to be the case....I mean sometimes the phrase might be used as an attempt to comfort like 'hey you're not the only one with problems, its ok to have problems, everyone does' But more often than not it seems to more mean 'oh you're struggling....so what everyone struggles sometimes' which isn't really helpful, certainly comes off more insulting. For one it is invalidating and everything you say it is, but then I cannot speak for everyone but it really pisses me off when I am bothered/upset and someone informs me some obvious fact I already know like a smart a**.

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Peacesells
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24 Aug 2015, 1:24 am

marshall wrote:

I agree that life is not easy for Aspergians. A person will probably have more problems with Asperger's than without it. I recognize it, but at the same time I recognize that some other people can have it equally bad, some even worse. I am not denying anyone's problems. I just don't want them to say that life without Asperger's is easy. In some cases it can be, but often it is not. And please stop saying that I am insulting people.

Sweetleaf wrote:

Well in a lot of ways life is easier for people who don't have aspergers....generally speaking, that is why it is considered a disability.

Life is also easier for people who didn't have one arm chopped off, for people who can walk, for people who don't have AIDS, who don't have depression, for people who don't see their child die etc... There are many things that can make your life uneasy.

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24 Aug 2015, 1:55 am

Peacesells wrote:

marshall wrote:

When someone is complaining about something and you go up to them and tell them "everyone has problems", the intent is usually to insult them, hurt them, or piss them off. You're telling them "shut up, you don't have it bad, I don't want to hear it". It happens all the time. A lot of people are like sharks. They smell blood on someone and swarm in on the attack. If someone is hurting and complaining they attack the person. When you say such things you act like those predatory people. Those psychopaths who say aspergers or depression isn't even real just to insult and upset.

marshall
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24 Aug 2015, 2:00 am

Peacesells wrote:

At least if someone has an arm chopped off people can see it. They don't demand that the person pour them a drink with their non-existent chopped off arm and them viciously attack and shame them when they can't. Stop making f*****g excuses, pour me a goddamn drink with your chopped off hands you lazy weakling!! !! It's only with mental conditions that people go on the offensive and attack and shame with predatory intent. I've learned that a lot of human beings are psychopaths who take pleasure in attacking others.

Sweetleaf
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24 Aug 2015, 2:11 am

Peacesells wrote:

That is why all of those things are considered disabilities/serious conditions as well. Tell me if someone did see their child die and had PTSD what would be the intent of informing them 'life is also easier for people who haven't had their arm chopped off' if they are explaining difficulties the PTSD causes them? Seems to me the only possible reason would be to dis validate them and imply they should just 'get over it' because somehow the fact other people struggle too negates the importance of the issues they face.

I mean I think it kind of goes without saying that many different people struggle with different things...if someone talks about something they struggle with, it doesn't mean they forgot other people also can have struggles. If I am telling someone something that I am struggling with....I don't really care at that moment if people missing limbs also struggle more than the average neurotypical I mean duh.

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Peacesells
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24 Aug 2015, 9:04 am

marshall wrote:

Dude I recognize AS is a problem but I don't want them to say that one's life is automatically easy if you don't have it. Why are they allowed to devalue other people's problem by saying that? I don't deny anyone's problem, they do.

marshall wrote:

At least if someone has an arm chopped off people can see it. They don't demand that the person pour them a drink with their non-existent chopped off arm and them viciously attack and shame them when they can't. Stop making f*****g excuses, pour me a goddamn drink with your chopped off hands you lazy weakling!! ! ! It's only with mental conditions that people go on the offensive and attack and shame with predatory intent. I've learned that a lot of human beings are psychopaths who take pleasure in attacking others.

Yes but they will have other problems, it's not like they have it better. Why do you have to sound like they have it better? I think you're the one devaluing their problems now.

Sweetleaf wrote:

I mean I think it kind of goes without saying that many different people struggle with different things...if someone talks about something they struggle with, it doesn't mean they forgot other people also can have struggles. If I am telling someone something that I am struggling with....I don't really care at that moment if people missing limbs also struggle more than the average neurotypical I mean duh.

I am ok with it as long as one doesn't say that people without Asperger's automatically have an easy life, which is not true. You see I am ok with people who have problems, what annoys me is when they say that other people don't have problems.

Last edited by Peacesells on 24 Aug 2015, 9:08 am, edited 2 times in total.

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