My thoughts on why you don't have a girlfriend.

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seems to be society standard to require a mate has those things. it is better to have someone who wants you for things then have no one and be alone. there is a social group of people that view relationships of give and take. as in what can they provide to me and what can I provide to them in exchange. I learned this in speech and human relations class.

I am not one of those people but it seems the majority in my area are. so I will likely be alone forever. and feel depresed as I attempt to obtain their standards but never achieving them.

Call me quirky but I worked with a guy who was shorter than I am, skinny as a toothpick, and still lived with his parents at 31. I'd overheard a couple times other people who worked there saying that they thought he was 'creepy' (they treated him alot like they treated me, basically shunning him, talking behind his back, etc) I got along with him just fine. He had a stutter but I thought it was cute. I didn't work with him alot though. I got the impression he might have liked me as when he'd pass behind me he'd let his shirt sleeve graze along the back of my shirt (and there was plenty of room that that didn't have to happen, but maybe I'm reading too much into that!)

Anyway what I'm trying to say is -- there were days in there when all I could think of was dragging him back into the electrical room and f*cking his brains out.

(Side note: I know there was one Aspie test I did a few days ago that asked if I have unusual taste in sexual preferences. LOL "Strongly Agree" with that one!)

You'll find that a good portion of women don't care about material trappings and appearances [for the most part]. Some do. But the portion that don't, make up millions of people.

Sitting down and talking to a dude or chick, getting to know them, figuring if you both get along with one another, and building a connection, is how it goes.

Showing someone the metaphorically massive size of your penis or boobs, and thinking it'll fall into place due to that, doesn't work. Hey, it might get you some sex, but hey again, you don't need that to get some sex either.

bigmouth- you missed the point of what I am trying to communicate as well, so perhaps this was mutual miscommunication.
Why go to great lengths just to impress someone (not you specifically, just speaking in general)? It wouldn't feel genuine. Sure, short term relationships and sexual encounters may happen, but a long term relationship will likely never happen. as for those who go to great lengths as well, they may be doing it because they actually believe that material possessions matter far more than they actually do.
I know this might seem like a weird example to use, but I remember watching Fight Club recently (movie featuring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton). I do remember a comment was made by Pitt's character about why Norton's character shouldn't go out and replace the stuff he lost because he would likely became a slave to his possessions anyway. By being a slave to your possessions, you may have increased your odds of being a slave to any girlfriend you might have as well.

Sly- You make it sound like the people in your area as you mentioned don't know what love is either. There is too much focus on "What's in it for me?" You simply can't love others without first knowing what love is.

Some people don't care about emotions and just want to get their rocks off. Not saying it's right, it's just how it is.

What's "wrong" about that?? See my post 4 posts up ^^

I thought (some) guys fantasized about women who drag them into a corner and jump their bones....

love means different things to different people.

those who reiquire their mate have ABC may eventually love them. actually it seems many of them also want the personality and love, though they can't find it with the guy that has ABC as they've been on there looking for years and complain about guys with ABC treating them bad or cheating on them. perhaps one day they will find that guy. I don't know and don't care. I don't like them and feel they are limiting themselves and perhaps preventing themselves from finding that speical guy. I blame society more then I blame them. I understand what society says it should be like, I just don't choose to follow it. one doesn't have to be successful provider to be a love. things like having a job, car, owing a house. really don't matter to me. those are just things and titles. a job isn't who a person is. a person isn't a CEO they are the combination of personality and experience. but most people first ask what job a person has upon first meeting. society says that your job, car,home etc defines who you are and if you are a worthy member of society.

is what it is. I don't meet the standards so I will be alone for the short remaining years of my life.

but many of the what's in it for me have successful relationships. just as the other relationship types.

probably because I don't go out enough, haven't been going out consistently for years now

I've actually had a woman drag me into her apartment! This was on 96th Street and 2nd Avenue in Manhattan, NYC. It was in 1983. She lived in an apartment which had exposed electrical wiring. She certainly taught me lots about sex, though!

she was the assertive one?

I guess she was

She was in her 30's. I had some knowledge of lovemaking--but she had a PhD in it!

I hate reality

/\

Me too. Best of luck to you.

I wonder if "meet-up.com" is a good site to use to get myself out of the house more often, anyone here had any luck with that?

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that you have to "play the game" to get a girlfriend/date? I mean, it is so fake, it's difficult to see this game as love.

But I know I have to forget about "romantic" love, or "true" love. It is all a materialistic social contract in the end.

This is in response to the two posts above.

I have been to meetup.com and attended several meetups. I think it's an excellent way to meet people. At the very least, it will help get you out of the house.

There's something you guys need to understand about "playing the game." Attraction has nothing to do with information. It has nothing to do with something going on inside you're head. You're not going to think of something that is all of a sudden going to make women attracted to you. Being attractive is about ATTITUDE. It's about how you live you're life. So instead of thinking in terms of "what do I need to know to attract women," you should be thinking in terms of "what changes do I need to make to my lifestyle that will make me a naturally attractive man."

There's plenty of information out there about how to pick up women, e.g. books, seminars, coaching sessions, etc. There's money to be made by convincing people they need information in order to attract women. Now, if the people still reading this thread really believe that no one would try and sell them something they don't actually need, I'm done.