If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late?

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In some ways I feel its easier for women to enjoy their youth than it is for men

I can relate to that, I had a gf but after she invited me to meet her friends/family thing started to fall apart (because according to her sister i'm "weird"). I am able to attract girls but when they come closer to me (this is i have learned after a bit of practice I make up stuff), they find that i'm different and they start to drift away (as I cant make up things for long). However, I do feel that the girl I am gonna marry should accept me as a aspie.
But yes the relationship (and hence sex) drought affects my professional and personal life. I think i would have been in a much better position if I was able to sustain a relation.

This might explain the frustration I had with attempting to use dating sites. With the frequent result that any good matches tended to be younger (and looking for younger).

Ya, since I would imagine having a companion, partner, would be like you have someone to support you on your journey in improving your life

Ace12087 - It's not unreasonable for a girl (or guy) to want a partner who gets along with their friends/family. Friends/family have known you for a long time, love you and generally have your best interests in mind.

My experience is that if ONE or TWO good friends dislike my new boyfriend on sight, it's no biggie since there's a tiny minority of people who make your skin crawl for no reason at all. It's *normal* to loathe the occasional person whose genuinely lovely.

If ALL my friends/fam loathe my new boyfriend in sight, I'm inclined to to take their views into consideration, as its statistically unlikely that ALL of them would hate the boyfriend for no reason at all. I wouldn't necessarily break up with loathed-by-all-guy, but I'd definitely *think* about their reasons for disliking him.

(This has worked great for me in all but one case -- everybody loathed one of my closest friend's then-bf, now-husband. He's lovely but wasn't for the first 4-5 years they were together. In hindsight, it's unclear if he was awful and we were petty, he was not awful and we were petty, he transitioned from awful to not and it took years to clue into it, etc. Or if everybody was young and bratty and mellowed/matured with time).

WantToHaveALife - You still haven't explained why you'd be a good boyfriend.

You want a girl to feel better about yourself and be more confident.

What does that girl get from dating YOU??

Stop with this belittling and patronizing tone, kaykate, you are not a better person than anyone here, and you should ask yourself what does *any* guy (including your husband you claim to have) gets from dating someone like YOU....yes, YOU behind the screen.
Can you see how offending your question (and your tone) is?

The message between the lines you are trying to deliver to WantToHaveALife is quite clear: You are clearly trying to convince him that he has zero value and there's no value for any girl to date him.

You think we are too idiot to see what you are trying to do? You're not here for helping.

- what do they call that in psychology? Indirect insulting? Dis-valuing conditioning?

and oh... btw YOU are a big sexist jerk troll, because YOU do that a lot with *only* *male* members.

And stop creating socket puppet accounts, you'll be kicked out again, I promise you.




It depends why ALL your friends/family would loathe him, I knew a girl whom her boyfriend was loathed by ALL her close friends and ALL her family simply because he was of different religion/community.

So them ALL hating him isn't necessarily for a just reason.

I think I was a bit unclear. What I was trying to say is that as an Aspie people usually find me "weird" and that acts as a hindrance for me while dating a girl (she invites me in a group - > I can't socialize with them - > she thinks I suck).
And as for that particular case regarding my gf, her sister and best friend thought I'm weird (not *all* of her friends)



I think you have gone a bit overboard on this one. You shouldn't be judging him and he doesn't have to explain you if he can be a good Bf. That's something his potential gf has to think about.

By all means, carry on doing the exact same thing that has resulted in zero dates for 27 years.

Carry on railing at the women who don't date you cuz you've never bothered to ask them out OR have bare-bones minimum standards for the men they date (be gainfully employed and financially indepemdent at 27). It's totally working for ya!

Make sure you rail against feminists and Aspies who work hard and earn a decent living -- it's so appealing!

And, yes, you're a loser for not having had a relationship at age 27. It's the universe's way of telling you you're awful and undatable!!

OP, I'm not trying to emulate the harsh and demeaning tone of Diningroom but I just wanted to advise you that although, yes you could potentially get support from your girlfriend, even a successful relationship might not make your life easier overall because a relationship is something that takes effort. It's something you have to work on. The rewards are well worth the effort required but it's not an effortless process. Your future girlfriend may want you to support her in some areas of her life as well.

If I may ask what kind of career or life goals is it you want your girlfriend-to-be to support you in? What kind of career are you trying to break into?

And in answer to your original question, no 27 isn't too late to get a girlfriend. I had never had a girlfriend on my 27th birthday and yet I had one by the time I was 27 and 4 months. By the time I was 27 and 6 months I was single again but I must keep trying and so should you. So long as you don't give up there is still hope. Remember, girls like a guy that doesn't have any exes.

i'm almost 59 and my husband is 64. we have sex. we have fun (plays, concerts, games, joking around). we are best friends. i tell him everything. hard to imagine being closer at any age.

it's sad to see someone who has such an unnecessarily negative view of aging.

Is there anything women don't have easier?

something in the medical field, but didn't you say you only had 1 ever girlfriend? And it lasted very short?

but I imagine there are some girls out there that would date me despite not being financially stable yet, not having a career yet, although I do have a job and a car at least, most likely a girl in that same situation as well.

Dating is not about finances, it's about commitment. You need the emotional connection and have to save your spot before you can settle down and walk down the aisle.

You are correct. I have only ever had one girlfriend... only one so far. Gods willing I will get a second one or convince the original gf to come back to me. Unlike you I wouldn't mind if my first relationship was the one to last a lifetime. I measure my success not by how many girlfriends I've had but by how few I can have before I find the one.

I can understand if you feel you need to play the field for a while to find out what type of girl would suit you. Trail and error can be an effective technique.

True that it only lasted for a very short time but each time I date a girl I get a little bit further. This was the first time I actually got up to boyfriend status. Next time I shall do better still.

Anyway, I think my point still stands, if you get to be 27 and you haven't yet had a girlfriend, that doesn't prove that you'll never have one. It's possible to have your first relationship at or after your twenty seventh year. As you've seen there are plenty in successful relationships who didn't have their first one until they were after 30. It's not too late for you. Don't give up trying.

feel pressured by society? no, in fact it probably started out the oppersite way all those thousands of years ago.

they have a close relationship yes, but it's not like the close relationship they had when in their 20s-30s. relationships change over time. less sex, less adventure. more settling down, rocking on some porch somewhere watching the grand kids. doesn't seem wrong that I want first part along with the later rather than only getting the latter. might suit others but not me.

I blew my chance at a well paying job. means I won't get a gf/wife. been told by a lot of women and guy friends 27 is the switching point from fun relationship to settling down for a lot of women.

only if you have a good job. old guy making 200k or more a year hot. old guy making min wage in a small apartment not hot. oddly only 19-21 year olds have ever given me a shot.