90% of Aspies can't get a date?

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That may be true, though i'm not entirely sure how 0.10% proves anyone's case. There's also the rest of Europe & what percentages lie there, both diagnosed & undiagnosed alike, as well as the much larger continents of North America, Asia, & South America. Then again, there could be even less (most likely considering it's size/population density relevance to the global scale, or less likely, maybe slightly more. It's all very speculative, but in either case Norway doesn't hold the majority of the world's total which was the point i was trying to make to Lonermutant)

Interestingly enough though, my heritage is mostly Norwegian and i have AS. But it's still rather speculative as to whether the nationality or regional origins has much bearing on that.

Makes for interesting potential debate topics though possibly, yes?
but i'm getting ahead of myself i think...


In any case Lonermutant fails to take into account so much the differing possibilities of aspies being able to get a date with other aspies as opposed to with NT's, and seems to have a rather narrow, almost jaded perspective on the whole subject seemingly only based on his own personal experiences, and projecting that bit of negativity onto his view of the rest of his external world. & since frowns, like smiles, are contagious in a manner of speaking (so to say that his blatant pessimistic mentality may be easily spread to those already in borderline states of despair, like the seeds of a dandelion on a summer wind, with adverse effects), that it might in turn be unduly self-fulfilling, where otherwise, given the right encouragement or environs, even just the right circumstances, it might have proceeded differently for the better. Just as every little bit can help, so every little bit can detriment or destroy.

Also, it's not impossible for successful relationships with NT's. As has been shown by a fair number of members from even just this forum. Ahh, but Lonermutant seems ever the naysayer.

Scoring consistently low in certain parts of IQ tests, despite trying, is informative I think in that it shows what parts of your education need special attention. Scoring very highly on IQ tests is not especially informative.

You're right. I should have put luck into the equasion. Had it not been for the Internet, I might have been a 28-year-old virgin today. Had it not met certain people, I might have made radically different decisions in my life. Luck is definitely a factor, but understand that the key to survival is not getting through an ordinary day but rather getting through an extraordinary day. We all suffer some good and some bad luck occasionally. What matters, is how we deal with it.



Give it some time. The more you expose yourself to different complex social situations, the more you'll start to see patterns where you didn't see them before and in time bevahiour that doesn't make sense today will graduately start to make sense. I'm not saying I understand every social experience entirely, but in recent years I've managed to survive quite a few social hotbeds like friends issues, relationship issues, job interviews, social interaction at work, etc. It takes some time to learn the social cues in each and every subculture you become part of, but if you take the time to take it all in and analyse people as if you were an anthropologist, you should eventually get the hang of it.



I guess sometimes it's just a matter of survival of the fittest. As long as we live in a predatory capitalist society, there will always be those not fit enough who drop out of the grid. Maybe this is unfair and injust, but at this moment they doesn't seem to be any movement remotely succesful in offering an alternative, so I'm afraid we will just have to accept this harsh reality for the time being... While I might like to live in a world where homelessness does not exist, I have to accept harsh reality for what it is... and if I can't survive the rat race because I eventually turned out to be not fit enough, then that's a fate I can only accept... as there simply is no alternative in the system we live in today.

People with high IQ also have special needs, just different ones from those with low IQ. The information is valuable in both cases.

Why isn't art a good substitute for playing soccer, hiking, getting friends and socialising?

I think that opportunities should always be there for young people to study more than they need to, and many of us in one way or another have "special needs", but otherwise I'm not sure I agree.

Moreover, I have high doubts that a high IQ is an accurate reflection of being "smart" - if the quality of being smart is really a tangible thing.

The problem is that these students need job training, not social training.

I don't believe in special schools and special curriculi for high-functioning autists and I believe in many cases it might even be better not to tell the school about it at all, but there are nevertheless a lot of things a person can learn at an early age once a diagnosis is made that he might otherwise only learn as an adult.

I've always found doing my tasks at work far easier than all the social aspects of life, both at work and in private life. Although I regret the decreasing quality of the Western education system, I don't see an issue with Aspie kids getting the same level of education as Neurotypical kids and I see major benefits in social training for the socially inept.

True, some people are better equiped to deal with good or bad luck than others, sometimes in quite admirable ways. This in itself, however, can be considered good luck, especially as far as genetic and environmental predisposition is concerned. Life, I sometimes feel, is a huge lottery, and some people just get more of their fair share of losses. And it differs from other lotteries in that even the will and ability to spend your prize money wisely is a prize itself.



I'm sure it worked this way for you, but you're not everybody else. My problem besides AS, for example, is a neurological defect which, in my case, causes problems with my voice. My speech is intelligible, but sometimes only barely so. This, in addition to my general social awkwardness, causes most people who don't know me to suppose I'm a ret*d, while I am as far from being one as you are (my IQ is also 135). So I avoid social situations like the plague, not only because they damage my precious ego, but also because they generally lead nowhere. This seems to be a negative feedback loop: lack of social experience -> unpleasant social experiences -> lack of...




Yes, it seems to be so. This situation will probably persist for all eternity, but what I dislike is not that it exists, but the mindset of some folk who say: "It's their own fault, therefore they deserve no understanding and no help whatsoever." I do not doubt that it's often their own fault, but I believe every human being deserves some understanding and help when times are rough; firstly, because of their inherent worth as human beings; secondly, because the causes because of which they did the things that got them into their predicament are, on closer analysis, often not so much their own fault. To what extent they should be understood and helped, is of course a matter of political debate. For a staunch leftist, such as I am, I'm a minimalist in this area, but certainly not someone who proposes to let people drop.

Oh I totally agree, I didn't realise that was what you meant. I was diagnosed with "autistic features" at an early age and went through school and college mostly without special assistance, but it was good to know that I was in some perhaps concrete sense a bit different from most other people.

You've gotta hold on. I started out getting mostly negative feedback too, but the more I tried the more I managed to turn the balance in my favor. I still don't always succeed to bend the situation in my favor sufficiently when needed (like when flirting or in a job interview), but in casual conservation, casual friendships and even several stages of romance (one of the most complicated social situations) I can say that at least I manage to come off as somewhat sympathetic yet ackward.

I understand that your situation is more complicated due to your speech problem, but look at Stephen Hawking. The man could barely do anything on his own and he didn't even have a voice of his own to use, yet he nevertheless spoke to crowds of scientists as their intellectual superior. Physical speech problems most definitely worsen the mental problems that already exist for someone with Asperger's, but if you really want people to respect you as their intellectual equal or perhaps even their superior, you have to stand up for yourself and figure out a way to voice your opinion confidently and intelligibly. Try to find a doctor to get your physical speech problem fixed and then seek out as social contact with others. Please don't let your self-asteem go down the drain because of previously insuccesful attempts at social engagement. Only with perseverence can you get anywhere in life.



In my opinion, people who're homeless should be drilled to do whatever kind of job they are physically or mentally capable of for free in service for the community and in return food, social housing and a few other benefits will be offered that suffice for a simple but meaningful life until the individual can get back on his feet and look for a real job. It will provide both a cheap resource for all kinds of public services and the life standard and future potential of people now living on the streets becomes significantly increased. Hitler actually implemented a social measure similar to the one I described and this lead to an almost nullification of homelessness and unemployment in the Third Reich and a significant increase of the German standard of life (at least from an economic point of view) then unseen in both Capitalist and Communist Europe. In some ways, Third Reich (National-Socialist) economy really was socialist, and in fact more socialist than both Social-Democracy and Communism.... But you just can't say that anymore because all one is supposed to think of when one thinks of the Third Reich is the Holocaust.

I don't. The inclusive school system in Norway is based on integrating every student into an ordinary school, because of some pathetic guilt over the special schools and institutions of the past. Sadly that means more social exclusion and students that only are in schools in order to get social training and contact with other kids, not practical work training. Most Aspie kids have more use in learning how to use a broom or a lawn mower than math.

I don't know about most Aspie kids, but I'm glad I had a normal education. Granted, I still can't really cook or iron at the age of 28 and my house is still a mess, but at least I manage. Had it not been for my normal education, I would not have a Bacherlor's degree in IT, I would not be able to have the job I have today, I would not have the friends I have today and I would not have had 5 girlfriends because both the social and the intellectual aspects of a normal education are what eventually helped me overcome many of my Aspie deficiencies, although life felt like a charicature of hell when I was 16. The s**t I went through when I was a teenager because I never got any special attention for my Aspie deficiencies is what allows me to live a fairly normal life today.

Interesting that you should mention Hitler. Yes, he was an economic and military wizard, who almost singlehandedly wiped out the ill effects of the Depression in Germany. We must never forget, however, that even economic wizards can be pure evil. The flip side of your sensible social policies, for instance, is that the people who really didn't fit into his scheme (the seriously mentally and physically disabled especially) were treated with all the same ruthlessness with which he treated the Jews. Look up some info concerning the T4 "Euthanasia" program to get my point. The systematic extermination of the disabled was of course great "target practice" for the things to follow. But I'm digressing...

As for your advice, I'm not saying that it's impossible for me to talk to people (I do have friends), but you should never underestimate the impact that first impressions have on people. And once they've decided that I'm a ret*d, they generally keep treating me like one, even given significant evidence to the contrary. I speak in full sentences, with the vocabulary of any well-educated adult, but they still keep saying stuff like: "Yes, yes, but now tell me where your mommy is." Just to save their face, or something; I don't know really. People can be such blockheads sometimes. This is very hard for me to swallow, and I don't know at all how to deal with it.

I for one wouldn't! Without math I'd be rather useless, as it's my field of study and the one thing I'm really any good at.