Living as an adult male virgin, unable to cope

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WantToHaveALife
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17 Sep 2012, 9:22 pm

Heisenberg wrote:
I am a 24 year old male virgin going on 25. I have reached a point in my life where I am finally realizing that I will never have a wife, children, or any kind of family in general. I know that I am going to resent myself for wasting my youth as I get older and that this shame is only going to get worse. I have tried endlessly to make positive changes in my life to remedy this, but I cannot be intimate with a woman. My family does not understand why I am always so depressed and I have become so enraged with jealousy towards my friends that I can barely socialize with them anymore. I feel like I am in a no win situation and my life is just going to deteriorate from this point on. I have been considering pursuing a career in which I would get to travel to other countries but this shame is going to follow me wherever I go. Even if I did by some random miracle manage to be with a woman, it wouldn't change the fact that I have wasted the only youth I will ever have.


sometimes i hate being more male because we always have to approach



equestriatola
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17 Sep 2012, 9:42 pm

OP: I am in the same spot as you; I am just hoping for the best......... it's the only thing I can do.


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thewhitrbbit
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17 Sep 2012, 10:39 pm

Keep up the good fight. It sounds like you have some social skills, but your just missing the cues. Maybe you could do a preemptive strike?

Instead of waiting for them to give you hints that you miss, assume they are interested and strike.

I think you have the right plan with the fitness. IMO personal hygiene and such are things that people have a lot of control over.



nostromo
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18 Sep 2012, 3:31 am

A success story I heard in this area was told to us by a health professional who worked with people with ASDs. He had coached a young Aspie how to meet women in public, engage with them and then talk to them, they would go out together and try the things they had talked about and planned in practise. Half of it sounded like learning just how to strike up conversations and converse with people. Afterwards they would have a feedback and review session about what worked, what didn't, how things could be done differently. They even kept data on what was successful and what was not.

The young man was quite motivated, and with the right support for him it worked out, he now has a girlfriend. It seems a very pragmatic approach, I certainly hope for something like that for my son if he is able one day.



WantToHaveALife
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15 Oct 2012, 12:42 pm

i'm around the same age as the OP, it sucks hardcore



GiantHockeyFan
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15 Oct 2012, 9:55 pm

Until a few weeks, I never kissed a girl, never made out, never had sex and never loved anyone in an intimate level. Now, I've done all of them and a few I've done over and over again :D Things can change in life very quickly!



WantToHaveALife
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16 Oct 2012, 3:12 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Until a few weeks, I never kissed a girl, never made out, never had sex and never loved anyone in an intimate level. Now, I've done all of them and a few I've done over and over again :D Things can change in life very quickly!


you were a virgin until age 29?



GiantHockeyFan
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16 Oct 2012, 8:21 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
you were a virgin until age 29?


Yes, that's correct and I never even came close before on top of that. Its funny how one of the first things she said to me after was "Wow, I can't believe that was your first time!" after she probably woke everyone in my building up :D The first time wasn't that enjoyable but the third time was incredible! I have a massive ego and am very masculine but I must admit losing my virginity wasn't nearly as big a deal as I thought it would be: I more enjoyed just having someone to love.

If you were to meet me in person, you would probably be call me a liar if I told you what I just did. Like my GF said, women should be all over me especially given my height and my big package if you catch my drift!



WantToHaveALife
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16 Oct 2012, 10:40 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
you were a virgin until age 29?


Yes, that's correct and I never even came close before on top of that. Its funny how one of the first things she said to me after was "Wow, I can't believe that was your first time!" after she probably woke everyone in my building up :D The first time wasn't that enjoyable but the third time was incredible! I have a massive ego and am very masculine but I must admit losing my virginity wasn't nearly as big a deal as I thought it would be: I more enjoyed just having someone to love.

If you were to meet me in person, you would probably be call me a liar if I told you what I just did. Like my GF said, women should be all over me especially given my height and my big package if you catch my drift!


oh wow, your current girlfriend, she thinks that you should be more experienced? what is your height?



Stalk
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17 Oct 2012, 6:24 am

thewhitrbbit wrote:
Keep up the good fight. It sounds like you have some social skills, but your just missing the cues. Maybe you could do a preemptive strike?

Instead of waiting for them to give you hints that you miss, assume they are interested and strike.

I think you have the right plan with the fitness. IMO personal hygiene and such are things that people have a lot of control over.


When I read that, I see a ninja jumping out and striking the woman, or a cave man clubbing the woman over her head. :D



GiantHockeyFan
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17 Oct 2012, 6:48 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
oh wow, your current girlfriend, she thinks that you should be more experienced? what is your height?


I'm 6'6" and am proportionally long downstairs too. She says over and over again "I can't believe you were single? How is that possible?" I've explained my difficulty in understanding subtleties, that I'm quiet and not aggressive and that I am would rather be single than miserable and still says that doesn't explain why I haven't had ladies chasing after me. I didn't mention Aspergers since apparently you can't have Aspergers if you are employed (but that's another discussion :roll: ) but I told her about all my main symptoms and the difficulties they present. She tells me that just my physical appearance alone should be enough to have ladies throwing themselves at me (especially if they saw what she did) and a couple WP members have told me something similar privately as well.



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17 Oct 2012, 2:51 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
oh wow, your current girlfriend, she thinks that you should be more experienced? what is your height?


I'm 6'6" and am proportionally long downstairs too. She says over and over again "I can't believe you were single? How is that possible?" I've explained my difficulty in understanding subtleties, that I'm quiet and not aggressive and that I am would rather be single than miserable and still says that doesn't explain why I haven't had ladies chasing after me. I didn't mention Aspergers since apparently you can't have Aspergers if you are employed (but that's another discussion :roll: ) but I told her about all my main symptoms and the difficulties they present. She tells me that just my physical appearance alone should be enough to have ladies throwing themselves at me (especially if they saw what she did) and a couple WP members have told me something similar privately as well.
Well she obviously isn't too familiar with Aspergers for her to make those comments.Most women are not direct enough for Aspie men to understand their intentions .Men with AS are at a significant disadvantage if they are trying to meet women the same way an NT man would.



WantToHaveALife
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17 Oct 2012, 2:58 pm

Stalk wrote:
thewhitrbbit wrote:
Keep up the good fight. It sounds like you have some social skills, but your just missing the cues. Maybe you could do a preemptive strike?

Instead of waiting for them to give you hints that you miss, assume they are interested and strike.

I think you have the right plan with the fitness. IMO personal hygiene and such are things that people have a lot of control over.


When I read that, I see a ninja jumping out and striking the woman, or a cave man clubbing the woman over her head. :D


i feel like my prime years are passing me by, thats why i wish i could lose my virginity as soon as possible, but i would rather lose it in a official relationship



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17 Oct 2012, 3:07 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
Stalk wrote:
thewhitrbbit wrote:
Keep up the good fight. It sounds like you have some social skills, but your just missing the cues. Maybe you could do a preemptive strike?

Instead of waiting for them to give you hints that you miss, assume they are interested and strike.

I think you have the right plan with the fitness. IMO personal hygiene and such are things that people have a lot of control over.


When I read that, I see a ninja jumping out and striking the woman, or a cave man clubbing the woman over her head. :D


i feel like my prime years are passing me by, thats why i wish i could lose my virginity as soon as possible, but i would rather lose it in a official relationship
agree man..iam now 23 =(


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WantToHaveALife
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17 Oct 2012, 6:13 pm

wtfid2 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
Stalk wrote:
thewhitrbbit wrote:
Keep up the good fight. It sounds like you have some social skills, but your just missing the cues. Maybe you could do a preemptive strike?

Instead of waiting for them to give you hints that you miss, assume they are interested and strike.

I think you have the right plan with the fitness. IMO personal hygiene and such are things that people have a lot of control over.


When I read that, I see a ninja jumping out and striking the woman, or a cave man clubbing the woman over her head. :D


i feel like my prime years are passing me by, thats why i wish i could lose my virginity as soon as possible, but i would rather lose it in a official relationship
agree man..iam now 23 =(


yeah, it sucks hardcore, i hate how it is my responsibility to change this, overall, it's like as if women get life handed to them on a silver platter but men don't



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17 Oct 2012, 6:27 pm

I'm sorry porn isn't working out for you :cry:


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