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Sweetleaf
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03 Jan 2015, 4:21 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
andrethemoogle wrote:
goldfish, you realize not everyone sees the same attraction in others, right?

I could give less of a s**t if a girl looks like a supermodel who's interested in me. If she has the personality of a wall and the brain of a peanut, I'll say no to her.

What is it with you and thinking that everyone should change? Seriously, it's weird dude.


I realize full well that everyone's personal aesthetic ideals are different when it comes to sexual attraction, yes.

sly279 has complained on these forums about 897234987389 times that women want a guy that's in better physical shape than he's in. So, then my suggestion is to stop whining about that and get yourself into better shape - become what you perceive that women are attracted to, then you'll feel attractive, and become attractive to them. It's really not rocket surgery stuff here.

I think peoples' time and energy is better spent on self improvement than self loathing. Continuous self improvement is a good thing, IMO. The benefits are immeasurably higher than that of whining & complaining.


I really wish people would quit dismissing anything thats not happy or positive anyone talks about on a forum 'whining and complaining'.


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Sweetleaf
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03 Jan 2015, 4:29 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
andrethemoogle wrote:
goldfish, you realize not everyone sees the same attraction in others, right?

I could give less of a s**t if a girl looks like a supermodel who's interested in me. If she has the personality of a wall and the brain of a peanut, I'll say no to her.

What is it with you and thinking that everyone should change? Seriously, it's weird dude.


I realize full well that everyone's personal aesthetic ideals are different when it comes to sexual attraction, yes.

sly279 has complained on these forums about 897234987389 times that women want a guy that's in better physical shape than he's in. So, then my suggestion is to stop whining about that and get yourself into better shape - become what you perceive that women are attracted to, then you'll feel attractive, and become attractive to them. It's really not rocket surgery stuff here.

I think peoples' time and energy is better spent on self improvement than self loathing. Continuous self improvement is a good thing, IMO. The benefits are immeasurably higher than that of whining & complaining.

i don't want to be with a athletic person so I don't care if they don't find my non bony body attractive. my problem with attraction is my face which no amount of working out my body will change. could have a super hot athletic body and I'd still be ugly.

why are you here? i mean if you're life is so great and you don't like seeing people complain on a support site, why do you come here. if my life was good I wouldn't be coming on here.


..and if you weren't depressed you might not think your face is ugly, and then would feel more attractive.

I'm not here to whine and complain, that's for sure. I'm still here because I've managed to figure out how to treat & manage my ASD and other symptoms via diet/herbal cleansing & probiotics to the point that I am happier and healthier than any time in the rest of my life, am working, building up some money, working towards future goals of all sorts etc. I'm not here to share the details of those things and brag. I'm still here to share how I've managed to do it so that anyone else willing to try what I've done can see if it works for them and they achieve similar results in their lives.

I'm not still here asking for support for the most part, I'm still here to offer it to those interested in helping themselves. Obviously nothing I can say or do or offer is of any benefit to anyone who's not here to improve themselves and merely here to whine and complain.


Well for someone who claims not to be here to brag you sure do a lot of bragging....and lots and lots of judging of others and their lifestyle, intrests and even what problems they are having in life. Perhaps you should quit worrying so much about other peoples lives who you've never even met and trying to tell them how they ought to live. And its great pro-biotics and excercise have essentially eliminated limitations aspergers/autism caused you...but that doesn't work for everyone. So what here to share your advice on how you improved all that as well as your unwanted criticisms and judgments?


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goldfish21
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03 Jan 2015, 5:09 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I really wish people would quit dismissing anything thats not happy or positive anyone talks about on a forum 'whining and complaining'.


Would you prefer I called whining and complaining "not happy or positive" words instead?

Doesn't change what it is & it doesn't change that whining and complaining about things doesn't change or improve anything. Taking action and changing things or one's self is sure to get better results than "not happy or positive" words ever will. Simple fact.


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goldfish21
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03 Jan 2015, 5:18 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well for someone who claims not to be here to brag you sure do a lot of bragging....and lots and lots of judging of others and their lifestyle, intrests and even what problems they are having in life. Perhaps you should quit worrying so much about other peoples lives who you've never even met and trying to tell them how they ought to live. And its great pro-biotics and excercise have essentially eliminated limitations aspergers/autism caused you...but that doesn't work for everyone. So what here to share your advice on how you improved all that as well as your unwanted criticisms and judgments?


I haven't bragged about anything, IMO. I've made factual statements about my achievements in order to convey just how much my life has improved for having improved my own health and minimized my ASD symptoms. While I am proud of what I've done for myself, I don't "brag" about it. I have shared that I'm in better health and wealth, though. If you perceive that as negative then that's your perception, not my intention.

I'm not worried about how others live their lives. I do respond to peoples' whining and suggest they make an effort to improve themselves and their lives and happiness vs. whine about things - but I'm not truly concerned with anyone else' happiness but my own and my loved ones. I'm not going to lose any sleep at night if sly279 (or anyone else here) decides to continue doing as he's always done and getting as he's always gotten.

You're right, it is great that diet/exercise/probiotics have improved my life immensely. How do you know it won't work for others? Perhaps not everyone, but it may work for others who are willing to give it a try. Only those willing to try things for themselves will ever know if what I've done can change their lives as it has mine.

I'm here to share my story and show that life can change for the better. I'm also here to offer any input/advice/support to anyone willing to help themselves, be it a book recommendation or otherwise. Ever stop to think that your criticisms and judgements of me are equally unsolicited? FYI they don't really bother me as they don't affect my life or my happiness one iota. If people don't want to hear anyone's reactions or responses to their complaints then they shouldn't choose to post them on a public forum where people interact and respond to each others posts. Not everyone is going to like everyone else' responses. That's just life. Too bad if people are only fishing for pity party woe-is-me posts in agreement with their depressed states of mind. Some of us are happy and healthy and would rather post something positive and encourage others to be happier and healthier themselves.


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Sweetleaf
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03 Jan 2015, 5:26 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I really wish people would quit dismissing anything thats not happy or positive anyone talks about on a forum 'whining and complaining'.


Would you prefer I called whining and complaining "not happy or positive" words instead?

Doesn't change what it is & it doesn't change that whining and complaining about things doesn't change or improve anything. Taking action and changing things or one's self is sure to get better results than "not happy or positive" words ever will. Simple fact.


No, however you do not have to repeatedly point out that it doesn't actively solve the problem, I think most people are aware of that if they are complaining about something, its more about venting than solving the problem. If you have such a problem with complaining why are you on a support site for people with a neurological condition.

Also it seems like when someone does explain they are making efforts in improving them-self or their situation you ignore that and just keep telling them complaining doesn't improve anything...well quite frankly no sh*t.


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goldfish21
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03 Jan 2015, 5:37 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
No, however you do not have to repeatedly point out that it doesn't actively solve the problem, I think most people are aware of that if they are complaining about something, its more about venting than solving the problem. If you have such a problem with complaining why are you on a support site for people with a neurological condition.

Also it seems like when someone does explain they are making efforts in improving them-self or their situation you ignore that and just keep telling them complaining doesn't improve anything...well quite frankly no sh*t.


Like I said, to actually offer support & encouragement vs. to validate whining with my own whining.

Really? Please feel free to find & quote even ONE single instance of me doing that on here, ever. If someone posts that they're making an effort to improve themselves or their situation, I'd applaud them for it vs. berate them.


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03 Jan 2015, 5:38 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Well for someone who claims not to be here to brag you sure do a lot of bragging....and lots and lots of judging of others and their lifestyle, intrests and even what problems they are having in life. Perhaps you should quit worrying so much about other peoples lives who you've never even met and trying to tell them how they ought to live. And its great pro-biotics and excercise have essentially eliminated limitations aspergers/autism caused you...but that doesn't work for everyone. So what here to share your advice on how you improved all that as well as your unwanted criticisms and judgments?


I haven't bragged about anything, IMO. I've made factual statements about my achievements in order to convey just how much my life has improved for having improved my own health and minimized my ASD symptoms. While I am proud of what I've done for myself, I don't "brag" about it. I have shared that I'm in better health and wealth, though. If you perceive that as negative then that's your perception, not my intention.

I'm not worried about how others live their lives. I do respond to peoples' whining and suggest they make an effort to improve themselves and their lives and happiness vs. whine about things - but I'm not truly concerned with anyone else' happiness but my own and my loved ones. I'm not going to lose any sleep at night if sly279 (or anyone else here) decides to continue doing as he's always done and getting as he's always gotten.

You're right, it is great that diet/exercise/probiotics have improved my life immensely. How do you know it won't work for others? Perhaps not everyone, but it may work for others who are willing to give it a try. Only those willing to try things for themselves will ever know if what I've done can change their lives as it has mine.

I'm here to share my story and show that life can change for the better. I'm also here to offer any input/advice/support to anyone willing to help themselves, be it a book recommendation or otherwise. Ever stop to think that your criticisms and judgements of me are equally unsolicited? FYI they don't really bother me as they don't affect my life or my happiness one iota. If people don't want to hear anyone's reactions or responses to their complaints then they shouldn't choose to post them on a public forum where people interact and respond to each others posts. Not everyone is going to like everyone else' responses. That's just life. Too bad if people are only fishing for pity party woe-is-me posts in agreement with their depressed states of mind. Some of us are happy and healthy and would rather post something positive and encourage others to be happier and healthier themselves.


Well you have a strange way of 'encouraging' people, that seems to involve a lot of judgements and put downs. Like your insistance that all gamers are 'losers' in that one thread, or your insistance on ignoring what works for you does not work for everyone else....also seems like you have a strict idea of what 'helping ones self' means...I think venting is a good way to release some tension which is helpful though not if done in excess. Though that is kind of irrelevent even if you do not think someone here is taking enough steps to help themselves that is no reason to put them down and pass a bunch of judgement like you do.

Also you are not a doctor, so you should not take so much offense that people take your ideas of 'treatment' with a grain of salt, also does it occur to you people here may have some other general health as well as mental health problems/conditions that you do not have which perhaps some of things that helped you could interfere in a negative way in someone elses treatment you never know as you are not in their shoes or exact situation....and why do you assume people have not tried some of what you have already?


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Sweetleaf
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03 Jan 2015, 5:40 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Really? Please feel free to find & quote even ONE single instance of me doing that on here, ever. If someone posts that they're making an effort to improve themselves or their situation, I'd applaud them for it vs. berate them.


The whole issue is you should not post if your post is berating someone, this is a support forum...if you don't like it there are plenty of sites that are not support sites that are more welcoming of members berating each other.


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03 Jan 2015, 5:45 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
andrethemoogle wrote:
goldfish, you realize not everyone sees the same attraction in others, right?

I could give less of a s**t if a girl looks like a supermodel who's interested in me. If she has the personality of a wall and the brain of a peanut, I'll say no to her.

What is it with you and thinking that everyone should change? Seriously, it's weird dude.


I realize full well that everyone's personal aesthetic ideals are different when it comes to sexual attraction, yes.

sly279 has complained on these forums about 897234987389 times that women want a guy that's in better physical shape than he's in. So, then my suggestion is to stop whining about that and get yourself into better shape - become what you perceive that women are attracted to, then you'll feel attractive, and become attractive to them. It's really not rocket surgery stuff here.

I think peoples' time and energy is better spent on self improvement than self loathing. Continuous self improvement is a good thing, IMO. The benefits are immeasurably higher than that of whining & complaining.

i don't want to be with a athletic person so I don't care if they don't find my non bony body attractive. my problem with attraction is my face which no amount of working out my body will change. could have a super hot athletic body and I'd still be ugly.

why are you here? i mean if you're life is so great and you don't like seeing people complain on a support site, why do you come here. if my life was good I wouldn't be coming on here.


..and if you weren't depressed you might not think your face is ugly, and then would feel more attractive.

I'm not here to whine and complain, that's for sure. I'm still here because I've managed to figure out how to treat & manage my ASD and other symptoms via diet/herbal cleansing & probiotics to the point that I am happier and healthier than any time in the rest of my life, am working, building up some money, working towards future goals of all sorts etc. I'm not here to share the details of those things and brag. I'm still here to share how I've managed to do it so that anyone else willing to try what I've done can see if it works for them and they achieve similar results in their lives.

I'm not still here asking for support for the most part, I'm still here to offer it to those interested in helping themselves. Obviously nothing I can say or do or offer is of any benefit to anyone who's not here to improve themselves and merely here to whine and complain.


Well for someone who claims not to be here to brag you sure do a lot of bragging....and lots and lots of judging of others and their lifestyle, intrests and even what problems they are having in life. Perhaps you should quit worrying so much about other peoples lives who you've never even met and trying to tell them how they ought to live. And its great pro-biotics and excercise have essentially eliminated limitations aspergers/autism caused you...but that doesn't work for everyone. So what here to share your advice on how you improved all that as well as your unwanted criticisms and judgments?

^^^Yay!


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03 Jan 2015, 6:20 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well you have a strange way of 'encouraging' people, that seems to involve a lot of judgements and put downs. Like your insistance that all gamers are 'losers' in that one thread, or your insistance on ignoring what works for you does not work for everyone else....also seems like you have a strict idea of what 'helping ones self' means...I think venting is a good way to release some tension which is helpful though not if done in excess. Though that is kind of irrelevent even if you do not think someone here is taking enough steps to help themselves that is no reason to put them down and pass a bunch of judgement like you do.

Also you are not a doctor, so you should not take so much offense that people take your ideas of 'treatment' with a grain of salt, also does it occur to you people here may have some other general health as well as mental health problems/conditions that you do not have which perhaps some of things that helped you could interfere in a negative way in someone elses treatment you never know as you are not in their shoes or exact situation....and why do you assume people have not tried some of what you have already?


I never once said all gamers are losers. I said that the typical perception of the 24/7 gamer is that they are a basement dwelling loser and that if people don't want to be associated with that label they ought to not spend all of their time holed up in their basement playing video games. The others won't perceive them that way - and perception is everything, as any successful person will tell you if they're being honest.

I never said that what works for me will work for everyone else. But surely it will work for more than just me. It may work for others who are willing to try it. It may not. But what will work for anyone is a willingness to try new things & improve themselves and their situation. Those unwilling to change or improve themselves in any way can expect to continue getting whatever it is they've got.

I'm not so sure I have a strict idea of what helping one's self means. Whether someone reads self help books, diets, exercises, meditates, gets counselling/therapy, swims with dolphins, join a club or sports team… whatever - I don't care - there are countless ways people seek to help & improve themselves. Have at whichever ones work for you.

The occasional venting is fine. I do it myself. But to vent repeatedly for months/years on end w/o changing anything you're doing is pretty much the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Who wants to live their life that way? Not I. YMMV.

I haven't put anyone down. You may take offence to something I write due to your own perception of it, but I haven't posted any personal attacks or insults as neither are beneficial to me or others. You might not like or agree with my perspective or opinions, but that doesn't make them insults or put downs.

Correct. I am not a Doctor. I have never ever claimed to be a Doctor. Go ahead and take what I've shared with a grain of salt all you want. As I've said for the last year, I'm just one of you on this forum with the same neurological and behavioural difficulties and challenges and I've discovered what the exacerbating cause was for me and how to treat it. I'm infinitely happier and healthier for having done it and have shared my experience so that anyone else who'd care to learn from it can do so. That's it that's all.

It's not up to me to know everyone else' medical diagnoses nor specific requirements or what treatments, pharmaceutical or otherwise, they're utilizing. Basic common sense says that if you have any concerns about changing your diet or doing herbal cleanses or consuming probiotics etc that you should consult with whomever you look to as an authority figure on your health - whether it's your GP, nutritionist, GI specialist, Psychiatrist, counsellor, mom or dad.. whoever/whatever it's none of my concern. Your health is your concern. Learn whatever you need to from whoever you need to before changing anything all you want - it has nothing to do with me. Not sure why you're suggesting I should be concerned with this ?? I've shared what I've done and what the benefits have been for me. Others are free to try it for themselves if they like, or not, or run it by whatever expert they accept input on their health from etc to their heart's content.

For the most part there's rigid opposition to my posts about what I've done.. so it's only logical to conclude that those dead set against what I've shared haven't actually tried any of it for themselves. If they had, I'd guess they'd post and say "I have done all of this & did not experience any benefits," or something of the sort vs. "I don't believe you," written in various forms.


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03 Jan 2015, 6:21 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Really? Please feel free to find & quote even ONE single instance of me doing that on here, ever. If someone posts that they're making an effort to improve themselves or their situation, I'd applaud them for it vs. berate them.


The whole issue is you should not post if your post is berating someone, this is a support forum...if you don't like it there are plenty of sites that are not support sites that are more welcoming of members berating each other.


Did you read what I wrote? I didn't berate anyone. Pointing out that someone is whining and complaining isn't berating them. It may not be the pity-party post they would like to hear, but it's not berating them. It's simply pointing out the fact that they're whining and complaining vs. doing anything constructive towards their goals.


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03 Jan 2015, 6:24 pm

Nice derail there, Goldie. Maybe it's time to get back on topic, right?

:roll:



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03 Jan 2015, 6:25 pm

Except don't tell someone they are whining and complaining. I would count that as berating the individual.

Do you realize that some people cannot do anything "constructive" to their goals? People shouldn't have to change to get someone to like them. I'm not going to bend over backwards to make myself look as neurotypical as possible to get a relationship.

People either accept me for who I am, or they can bugger off. Changing yourself for a relationship when you don't want to is one of the worst things you can do, as you'll end up regretting it later.



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03 Jan 2015, 6:36 pm

andrethemoogle wrote:
Except don't tell someone they are whining and complaining. I would count that as berating the individual.

Do you realize that some people cannot do anything "constructive" to their goals? People shouldn't have to change to get someone to like them. I'm not going to bend over backwards to make myself look as neurotypical as possible to get a relationship.

People either accept me for who I am, or they can bugger off. Changing yourself for a relationship when you don't want to is one of the worst things you can do, as you'll end up regretting it later.


It's not berating them if they are whining and complaining and all I do is point that out.

No one "cannot" do anything constructive towards their goals - unless they believe they cannot; then perhaps there's some truth to that. "Whether you think you can or you can't - you're right." - Henry Ford. But once someone believes they can do something constructive towards whatever their goal is, then they can.

If someone is "unlike-able," then why shouldn't they change/improve to be liked by others? IMO they ought to at least consider it if their objective is to be liked. Then don't bend over backwards to be more NT-like to get a relationship. That's your choice.

Well then, if that's all true for you then you don't want a relationship and have exactly what you want out of life & your ability to be yourself. If that's actually truly how you think & feel, you should be happier than a pig in s**t right now just being yourself & having everyone who doesn't accept you for you "bugger off."

..but somehow I don't get happy vibes from your post.

Personally, I've embraced changing myself for the better for ME and have no regrets for it. Also, I used to feel I shouldn't get into a relationship because I would be a burden on someone else. Now? Not so much. I feel like I have a lot to offer and am open to exploring the dating world and eventually having a significant other in my life. I have zero regrets about changing myself, in part, to become someone "datable" in order to eventually attract a significant other *that I'm interested in. (If I just wanted a s/o I could have had one many times over, but I'm very picky/selective and want to find the right person for me - not just A person.)


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03 Jan 2015, 6:40 pm

No, I'm not going to change myself to be "liked" by a specific person or group. They can take me as I am, or they can leave me alone. Who are you to say I don't want a relationship? Who made you the superior person in this conversation? Someone out there will like me for me, and not for fake BS that others put out.

Also, stop saying people are whining and complaining. Would you like to hear that if you were having a bad day and someone came into a topic of yours and said that?



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03 Jan 2015, 6:44 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Really? Please feel free to find & quote even ONE single instance of me doing that on here, ever. If someone posts that they're making an effort to improve themselves or their situation, I'd applaud them for it vs. berate them.


The whole issue is you should not post if your post is berating someone, this is a support forum...if you don't like it there are plenty of sites that are not support sites that are more welcoming of members berating each other.


Did you read what I wrote? I didn't berate anyone. Pointing out that someone is whining and complaining isn't berating them. It may not be the pity-party post they would like to hear, but it's not berating them. It's simply pointing out the fact that they're whining and complaining vs. doing anything constructive towards their goals.


You have berated people....and when you say when someone is making an effort to improve them-self you applaud them for it rather than berate, that seems to imply you know you have berated people on this site.

Also how does pointing out a fact people already know help anything? It comes off as invalidating...regardless of how you want to slice it, anotherwards this is not the place to tell people 'quit whining' when they post about problems they are having and frusteration about it. Also complaining and doing something constructive towards ones goals are not mutually exclusive. Its not nessisarily a pity party people are searching for just because they aren't looking to be harshly criticized.


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