05 Feb 2021, 1:12 am
r00tb33r wrote:
My mind has been made up for a while now. If I marry, I will accept that the wife always wins by default, and I will always be happy with that outcome. Think of all of the energy I will save myself over time by not having a single fight...
... ... ...
Noooo!! !...Do have healthy discussions, and if necessary do argue your point, assuming that it is related to a matter of serious consequence...It will show that you care about such a matter...And she will RESPECT you for this...
Studies by NTs for NTs have shown that couples who feel comfortable enough to argue with each other love each other more...I tend to agree...I tell my husband that the day i don't argue with him about something, that will be the day i stopped caring for him...
Please allow me to illustrate my point...Lately, my husband has been working non-stop...He works the night-shift, and sometimes during the day-time as well...Consequently, he is hardly sleeping and not eating well...Understandably so, i worry about his well-being...And so, i persistently annoy him with my concerns...So yes, the day i stop annoying him that will be the day i stop caring for him...For now, i will continue to annoy him until he listens to me
Last edited by Clueless2017 on 05 Feb 2021, 1:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,462
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
05 Feb 2021, 1:13 am
05 Feb 2021, 1:40 am
Clueless2017 wrote:
In any case, if Retro's wife is indeed an overt or covert racist, it's too bad that he is just learning this...These conversations should have taken place when they were dating... 
I don't think Chinese people learn racism in the same way as it's taught in predominantly European countries. In China they glean what they learn about Africa and/or Black Americans from western TV which of course is never flattering.
In the case of Retro's wife, I have known a plenty of white men married to Chinese or east Asian wives. The wives often overcompensate and it wouldn't surprise me if retro's wife actually doesn't really care about black people but she "thinks" this is what retro wants to hear because he is white (and Adelaide where he lives is pretty racist toward aborigines).
The "low class" thing doesn't apply in schools where chinese kids happily play with dark skinned Indian kids whom they envy for their academic prowess.
05 Feb 2021, 1:47 am
cyberdad wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
In any case, if Retro's wife is indeed an overt or covert racist, it's too bad that he is just learning this...These conversations should have taken place when they were dating...
I don't think Chinese people learn racism in the same way as it's taught in predominantly European countries. In China they glean what they learn about Africa and/or Black Americans from western TV which of course is never flattering.
In the case of Retro's wife, I have known a plenty of white men married to Chinese or east Asian wives. The wives often overcompensate and it wouldn't surprise me if retro's wife actually doesn't really care about black people but she "thinks" this is what retro wants to hear because he is white (and Adelaide where he lives is pretty racist toward aborigines).
The "low class" thing doesn't apply in schools where chinese kids happily play with dark skinned Indian kids whom they envy for their academic prowess.
... ... ...
Interesting take...Thanks...
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,160
Location: Adelaide, Australia
06 Feb 2021, 9:30 am
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,160
Location: Adelaide, Australia
06 Feb 2021, 9:32 am
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,160
Location: Adelaide, Australia
06 Feb 2021, 5:21 pm
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
06 Feb 2021, 5:46 pm
Aaaah, pandemic fatigue & work from home stress, too. Complicates things a little more. Might make me more willing to propose couples counselling and working together vs. deciding it's over. BUT, she would Have To agree to that vs. refuse to cooperate. Her refusal to cooperate would indicate her decision to end the relationship instead - another possibly acceptable outcome, but then at least you'd know where you stand and where things are headed.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.07 Feb 2021, 4:53 am
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
07 Feb 2021, 4:57 am
Eurythmic wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
The wives often overcompensate and it wouldn't surprise me if retro's wife actually doesn't really care about black people but she "thinks" this is what retro wants to hear because he is white (and Adelaide where he lives is pretty racist toward aborigines).
I was speaking with a friend who is Aussie born to Chinese parents when BLM hit the media. He laughed and said that in China people don't care about dark skinned people so it's unlikely BLM will be of much interest there. This is coming from someone who experienced ongoing racism growing up in Oz in the 70s and 80s with a Chinese appearance.
What do you mean by the bolded part? Don't care as in are indifferent? Or don't care as in don't like? Just want to make sure I'm interpreting this correctly.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.07 Feb 2021, 5:07 am
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
07 Feb 2021, 5:19 am
Eurythmic wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Eurythmic wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
The wives often overcompensate and it wouldn't surprise me if retro's wife actually doesn't really care about black people but she "thinks" this is what retro wants to hear because he is white (and Adelaide where he lives is pretty racist toward aborigines).
I was speaking with a friend who is Aussie born to Chinese parents when BLM hit the media. He laughed and said that in China people don't care about dark skinned people so it's unlikely BLM will be of much interest there. This is coming from someone who experienced ongoing racism growing up in Oz in the 70s and 80s with a Chinese appearance.
What do you mean by the bolded part? Don't care as in are indifferent? Or don't care as in don't like? Just want to make sure I'm interpreting this correctly.
I took it to mean indifferent. His parents are both Chinese born and he has been to their birth country a number of times. His option was that Chinese culture doesn't really care about black people, they are more interested in other Chinese people and caucasians.
..which is a form of racism/racial hierarchy, sooo.. while he may have actually meant indifferent, in a sense, it's also dislike - no?
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.07 Feb 2021, 5:22 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,462
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
07 Feb 2021, 5:34 am
07 Feb 2021, 5:42 am
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
07 Feb 2021, 11:14 am
cyberdad wrote:
Eurythmic wrote:
I was speaking with a friend who is Aussie born to Chinese parents when BLM hit the media. He laughed and said that in China people don't care about dark skinned people so it's unlikely BLM will be of much interest there. This is coming from someone who experienced ongoing racism growing up in Oz in the 70s and 80s with a Chinese appearance.
Yes that's probably correct. The Chinese sage Confucius was very clear that people should not get involved in other people's conflicts.
There is no benefit for Chinese people to show support for BLM. So they don't.
A more evolved mind, however, can take the moral/ethical leap and show support/solidarity by recognising that black people have legitimate fears about the police.
How is there no benefit to supporting racial equality and denouncing white supremacy?
Oh, right, <stereotypically, anyways> Chinese people do support white supremacy.. hence the white man occupation of "Face," - being a Chinese corporation's "professional white guy," to give them a "good," image to other companies by being their hired white face to attend meetings and parties. Clearly they believe in a racial hierarchy and that white is at the top, and while they may seem indifferent about black people, I assure you it goes deeper than indifference if they (typically, as a group, not every single one of a Billion+ people) don't think BLM is worthy of support.
Even amongst the orient there's a racial/ethnic hierarchy that Asian immigrants here have described. To us Canadians, we see oriental Asians as all being on par with one another, but they do not. Each nationality/ethnic group has a place in an unwritten hierarchy of peoples' with those from certain nations/areas looked down upon like a white supremacist might view a black person. Seems bizarre to an outsider, but for whatever historical, economic, or even academic reasons - I guess they have their reasons. Much like the ruling class Chinese look down upon the factory worker class/migrant work force, too, within their own borders. Hell, the ruling class Chinese look down upon us working class Canadians here for being "poor," vs. being in their ~Billionaire club.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| arguments |
19 Jul 2025, 10:00 pm |
| Women’s Support Thread |
06 Jul 2025, 12:49 am |
| How Conservatives Are Winning Young Women |
29 Jun 2025, 8:20 pm |
| Autism and women: A voyage of discovery |
25 Jul 2025, 3:12 am |
