4 easy rules will avoid 98% of sexual harassment accusations

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This is probably because men are expected to be the initiators in the mating dance. This becomes more complicated if it's done towards someone who has assertiveness issues and is raised to always "act nice." So, instead of a firm and straightforward "No, thanks," such person might smile and nod while feeling uncomfortable at the advance and just file a complaint. It's that firm "No" that could separate the well-intentioned, but socially awkward person with someone who really is aggressively trying to bother someone. Maybe sexual harassment training should be coupled with assertiveness training for people who don't know how to deal with any flirtation without feeling helpless and threatened?

Just a thought. But, basically.... unless you really, really know what you're doing, it's ill-advised to try to do the mating dance thing at work.

These things are obvious. Especially number 1, 2 and 4.

I notice you haven't even bothered to read my post then

Bit too much reading for you was it?

It's a good idea to read every post if you're going to contribute to a discussion, otherwise you just look badly informed!

yes and I posted about being a woman who was harassed by another female in the workplace but my post was totally ignored!

I think a general disinterest in the issues women face full stop is often the case if this thread is anything to go by

Back to the far more important male issues though (as they seem to be the only people who ever suffer in the workplace according to this thread!)

As the OP, this thread was aimed primarily at men. There is a women's forum but no men's forum, so I think it's not unreasonable to gear a thread towards men every once in awhile. The purpose of this thread was to discuss practical ways to avoid sexual harassment for those who may unwittingly engage in it.

The point was not to bash either gender, or to accuse anyone of being "unfair," or to pretend that women don't have problems in the work place. The majority of male contributors here have done none of these things. I think there were maybe three who were ridiculous. That's not a justification to attack an entire thread.

No, it wasn't too much reading for me. At all. I just didn't find anything on your posts that I felt the need to make a comment on. Maybe you're talking about my second paragraph and how you said thar bullying was an equal-oportunity thing instead of being restricted to women, but more posters apparently believe there is some kind of bias, and my second paragraph was also kind of ironic, although I should have learnt by now that using irony is a bad idea in these forums If that's not it. then please be more specific and point me to what I missed.

The entire sexual harrassment double standard argument is completely irrelevent to this topic and only serves to make the men who are espousing it sound bitter an victimized.

Like I said, fact that some woman engage in that behavior and get away with it is not an excuse for any of you to engage in it.

It's not even really a true statement. Part of my mom's job is to investigate sexual harrassment claims and she gets roughly proportionally as many against women these days. I think the disparity and unequal reporting has more to do with employment disparity. I believe the gap will lesson once workplace demographic trends narrow (more women in more positions of power, etc.)

Yeah, you said it already. And, frankly, it's insulting. It's as though you're assuming that everyone in here is out sexually harrassing people left and right, then trying to make excuses for it. Try a less accusatory tone, maybe you'll find people to be a little less defensive.

So I've been following this thread for the past few days and I didnt originally post because I didnt feel I had a part in it, being an aspie female.

But here's what I think.

Sorta gauging both sides, considering that Im female and aspie. Sexual abuse in workplace is a serious issue, not taken lightly and there is very much validity in women watching out for it. But on the otherhand, women are taught to "fear" men and are suppose to be always on the watch for shady characters. Its sorta a defense mechanism that women are taught to mentally develop to protect themselves. However when aspie men come into the picture, they'll often come across as shady even though, thats not there intention. Thats were the issue comes in.

For me, I've had men say "comments" from time to time that were questionable at most. It never bothered me. No one ever tried to touch me. I just mostly act indifferent towards it. I choose not to play on them.

In a perfect world, it shouldn't but you said it:








No one is suggesting to engage in harassment no matter the reason.

Btw, I was never called a creepy nor had a sexual harassment issue.

On the contrary, female friends and acquaintances often ask me to escort them (or a friend or a sister) to places at night.

Sometimes I wonder if I am not seen masculine enough by them because of those favors they ask.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 07 Mar 2013, 6:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

You're just an average man in looks/how you come across imo

not 'creepy' (hate that word) but not the stereotypical muscular 'hunk' (hate that word too) either - hence you get a middling/non-extreme response from women

it's always best to be in the middle in my opinion

You'll probably find a partner who is the same

You make me sound....boring .

No, I am talking about the way society/people are probably perceiving you due to the tedious stereotyping that occurs

You are not how people perceive you though

I think you have a lively, entertaining character and you seem to have a lot of friends so that should show you you're not boring

I get the impression the dating scene is a lot more competitive and perfectionistic in the Middle East

Apparently Iran leads the world in nose job cosmetic surgery:-

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2005/ma ... ealth.iran

More up to date article:-
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/iran-bl ... NETTXT3487

So there seems to be more pressure on people in middle eastern countries to look a certain way than here in the UK

There's a lot of the same type of pressure but less people actually conforming to it here in my opinion but I'm sure we're catching up with the rest of the world though

I think the average middle eastern person is already better looking than the average UK person, hence competition is stronger to raise yourself above everyone else and get picked

So perhaps if you lived in the west you'd have more success?

One correction there: I have very few friends (one 2 real friends and some "buddies"), always had and was in a long phase totally friendless.



I can't tell, never tried dating outside the Middle East.





Probably because there's no point for boob surgery there? :lol So the nose job is the only option they have?

Btw the eyebrows of the two young girls in the last link look devilish and unnatural - very unattractive, It was recently a common style over here too, another ugly trend is the "thick eyebrow" *gag reflex* often a mix of the original eyebrows hair and kind of tattoo.



And so in Japan, China, Korea, India...um, all eastern countries.



No idea.

Women have the thick and tattooed eyebrows over here too - I think it looks awful

They also have eyebrow threading done which is some kind of eyebrow tidying process that sounds bizarre

I don't go to any of these beauty parlour places as I wouldn't be able to tolerate the mentality of the women in them
and because I wouldn't want any of these procedures done