Encountered a pair of Pick-Up Artists last night.

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Well duh, of course I'm going to be selective. Everyone who seduces/is seduced is selective.

However, I don't see how being selective about who seduces me is anything like being selective about who I'm nice to. I'm nice to everybody until they give me a valid reason to not like them (and trust me, you have to seriously stuff up for me to hate you).

I'm sure my parents would take issue with that

OP, is it possible that your GF is attracted to you for your personality and niceness but not physically so much?

That's a tough position to find yourself in. I've been there. On both sides of it actually..........

I´d break their faces. Hit on girls in an inherently misogynistic way, sure. But try playing my friend? s**t just got real.

I remember a while ago that someone on this forum posted that men read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle to help them pick up ladies. The harsh reality is that book actually helped me get laid pretty easily for a few months earlier in the year. The book was meant to realize spirituality, not game playing. Men actually use this book as a means to pick up ladies and that is quite sad. But the bright side of this book... it eventually helped me realize to have faith where it matters most- in myself.

The sad reality is this. If you understand how to live for the moment and be present, it makes it soo much easier for women to be attracted, and harder for them to say no. That was what I learned. But when you start worrying about the past or future, it makes them less attracted. When I wasn't present and my girl was around me, she would likely tune into a guy that was present. Not hard to do if you are in an environment where plenty of other people are around either.

Men are often more insecure about lack of physical and sexual attraction as I thought we have discovered in this thread... and countless others on this forum...

It's also pretty much true that women are more concerned about emotional cheating from their men, while men are more concerned about sexual cheating. So I also second what Geek said. It really is a tough position to be in.

I know! And I'd be more than happy to if I weren't uneasy about the morality of it...



Yea, the fear of pretty much this happening to me, either in front of me or otherwise, is pretty much what this whole thread is about. You've nailed it more than anyone else.



My GF is with me, Ms. Laos is single, and Ms. Guatemala is married.



Avoided everything except for kissing, and it's very tame, light kissing.



She DID call me later. The real question is, however, how far would things have gone had there been nothing to interrupt?



I'm starting to trust her, but I have no real idea how much she trusts me. The most intimate has been kissing on the lips. The reasons she gives is that she's a "conservative and shy girl".



HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG

As far as I understand, though, White Europeans are generally seen as attractive and exotic in SEA (They still have that dark skin = works outside = peasant = ugly mentality), and people (including Ms. Guatemala who is quite cute) have called me attractive on numerous occasions. I'd be awfully disappointed if this turned out to be the case.

Id suggest she doesn't know you well enough yet and therefore doesn't trust you or feel safe with you yet. If you didn't sleep with her before getting into a relationship, then she has to feel safe first and then attraction before she will sleep with you. However she obviously sees something that makes her want to be in a relationship with you in the first place, so obviously you have the capability to do this. Stop doubting yourself do much and focus on her.

Most people do sex first and then the relationship second, and this way of hooking up she simply has to feel overwhelming attraction for you. Since you didn't do that, you now have to contend with the trust aspect first.

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Last edited by Kjas on 01 Nov 2013, 11:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You know, someone told me very recently that I had a stereotypically attractive male body, but she still didn't feel that lust that makes someone want to have sex with someone else. If the discussion of the difference between hotness and sex appeal was still around this could have make a good argument for that lol, but I digress

Do the two of you enjoy your time together? How long have you been dating? What does she say about the way she feels about you?

Ok, one thing to point out first is that research in social psychology has shown, time and again, that we are generally nothing more than mindless beings responding thoughtlessly to many cues in many social situations. This is usually because of information overload wherein there is often too much information to process in a day that using shortcuts, no matter whether it renders people more vulnerable to manipulation or not, is often the "ideal" route to take in one's normal everyday life. This includes areas in life that revolve around dating and seduction as well as other areas in life such as those to do with managing business and deciding on what products to buy and such.

That said, it's also important to point out that Shau might just be a bit paranoid in this instance and that one can't just perceive two people as being identical or extremely similar to each other just because they both seem equally "conservative" or "liberal" or "promiscuous" or whatever. Even if the observable behaviors are similar, they may each spring forth from extremely different mindsets.

I was wondering about this too, but I didn't want to bring it up..

I have explained the rape concern - that's why she wanted Shau to stay nearby after all.

I am not throwing all the blame on the women, but I am not throwing all the blame on the PUAs like *you* are doing.

This PUA was predatory yes, but this *married* woman wasn't innocent at all. Come on, you can't be that naive.

And we are talking abt Adult people, not 16s.

Well f**k me. Women are more open to being chatted up by people who they like. Whoever would have thought?

Because "being personable to someone" is just the same as "letting someone stick their dick in you". Of course.