I think I finally get it!

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Ok, so, I went on a few dates with an NT guy and due to my lack of theory of mind (supposedly) I just assumed he was interested like I was and also too shy to invite me places, call me, add me on facebook, etc. We met on okcupid and never once out of the 2 months we knew each other did he ever make any effort to have a conversation with me outside of that website.

Well, I realized the whole time I was being a pushover. I just assumed he was too shy so I kept trying to let him know I was interested. That actually made me seem obsessive and... ditzy? He was clearly not interested and I was always way too nice and eager. He never wanted anything beyond the realm of the sexual with me and he tried to subterfuge me into getting sex (which didnt happen, thank god) by sneakily dropping lines and asking questions (but never admitting to actually wanting to date me or wanting to talk.
for example, he'd say "would adding you on facebook be too forward?" translation: i don't want to add you. if i did i would give you my url or ask for yours directly. i'm trying to make you think i like you enough to add you.

another example:
"what was that? a hang out session or a date?" translation: i don't actually want to date you. i'm trying to make you think i'm a shy needy boy who needs things spelled out for him right away so you'll think i'm crazy about you. i want to trick you into thinking we're dating. Since you declare it, its dating to you. i just want sex.

another example:
"i really want kids someday. i think that would be nice"
translation: i think you're just like every other diamond craving woman and i'm going to play psychologist and make you think i'm trustworthy. (by the way i was kind of sarcastically laughing when he told me this one. it was so obvious what he was trying to do when he brought this up at the dinner table)

Another thing he would do was ask me if I wanted to hang out and then cancel our dates. It was a very clever way of stringing me along just so I wouldn't give up on him completely.

basically, what i've concluded is is, if a guy likes you he'll actually make it known to you. even if he's shy. he'll still want to talk to you outside of a sleazy dating site and you'll just know he likes you. there are no exceptions.

So yeah, that was painful but I've learned a lot. After having this happen so many times I finally get it. feel free to share any similar encounters as well...

I've observed the same behaviour. It's quite amusing as long as it happens to someone else. Well it is annoying when you see the woman in question falling for it...

Also in the same line of behaviours. When someone makes a "confession" and says that are saying it because they trust you more than they normally would have. Maybe adding that you can't even tell their friends or family. And you've just met them. It's so obviously to induce false trust.