So many interests, yet no girl seems interested.

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I have a wide variety of interests, which include sports such as the 4 major ones (NBA, NHL, NFL, MLB), Major League Soccer, the IndyCar series, pro wrestling (only buy WWE's video games, prefer TNA and local independent promotions), though I am trying to "wean" myself off it in favor of UFC. My musical interests range from Frank Sinatra to any grunge-style music. I also enjoy watching cartoons spanning from the 1930s to the '60s (I am a closet Family Guy and American Dad! fan though!). I also love to travel and see different arenas and stadiums. My parents go on and on how I find a great girl someday because of these traits, yet no one has yet seemed interested. In addition, I also fear that when (and if) I do find someone, she will not be NT, which is a major goal of mine when it comes to this).

I just graduated from high school. At all of the football and basketball games, I would treat the school's cheerleaders (my best friends) and certain members of the girl's basketball team to refreshments. Despite my generosity, no one seemed interested in developing any further of a relationship.

My question is, why?

When something is common, it quickly grows unappreciated. It could be that your universal appeal and attempts to be nice and friendly become washed-out by expectation. Just a thought.


M.

bluntness, here it comes:

i think your parents are saying it to be nice. ive never heard of "common interests" being a great factor in bringing people together.
(Other than in movies and fairytales and other invented scenarios)

you cant sit around and wait for people to rain down on you based on interests. im interested in nearly everything that goes on on the planet, and i am lonelier than an expired quazar.

so. the idea you have obviously had in your head
that your many interests will get you a girl

Shed it. its ruining it for you. you have to start from another angle, which means:

WELCOME TO THE CLUB =)

It's kind of unfair, isn't it? But I think some guys just give off an asexual, sterile vibe no matter how many interests they have or how conversationally adept they are. Likely stems from not knowing what to do to make things progress romantically, which is a form of low-confidence.

You likely have to become more overt about your intentions with these women & start making some moves. From experience, just making an effort to be around women isn't enough. You have to take more initiative.

Hey Nick -- you might want to check my "Not Getting Used - For Guys" thread here.

Also -- just know that not everyone is going to be into what you are, but some girl, who you value, will. Cheerleaders and the like tend to be "followers" -- they go with the flow, with the majority culture, with what is popular. They don't tend to be great matches for eccentric or smart people, especially those not totally expert at social interaction or on the fringe.

Rest assured college is much, much better than high school for the rest of us. I can't stress this enough -- while in high school, a few overdeveloped early bloomers dominated the social scene, in college there's room and friends enough for everyone. Forget high school, work on college, find people who like what you like, and make friends with lots of girls. Nature will take it's course -- just give it opportunity.

Why do you think that a girl will want to be with you just because of your interests, especially with those interests? Most girls aren't interested in sports at all. I remember in high school I started dating a guy and then found out he played football (he was taking computer networking class so I thought I was getting a nerdy guy when I started dating him), and I knew right then that it wasn't going to last long (there were other reasons besides that though). Guys who are into sports, even NTs, tend to get way too obsessive about it and inevitably start ignoring their girlfriend for sports.

I mean, there are sports I like, such as fencing, but the mainstream-y team sports are pretty much dealbreakers for me.

Don't get your hopes up about college either... if anything, my fortunes in college have been worse than in high school... the only thing that has improved is that women don't try to use me as much, but even then that's only because far fewer women even interact with me anymore...

I second what Rain_Bird said--those interests are more likely to be shared by other guys. The majority of girls aren't into sports and cartoons.

I second this comment. Banking on nature just eventually taking its course isn't a sound strategy. College life definately expands your horizons, but from what you have written, you seem to have done a lot of that already and it hasn't helped. You must still have the skills & confidence to progress with girls romantically. Keeping hope that the next stage in life will magically solve all your problems is the worst thing you could do.

Just spend some time reading the "love & dating" section on this site. People of all ages have the same problem as you. Most of them much older, & have likely held out hope that things would simply get better at the next stage too. Do your best to tackle any issues now and stay out of that rut.

So what do girls/women like? Probably not sports, WWE, nascar, or cartoons, and certainly not video games. I'm sure there are exceptions, but it's not a good idea to place one's bets on the exceptions. On the other hand, it seems best to do things because they interest YOU, because YOU like it, and not just to have overlap with others.

If you go too far out of your way, it may seem like you're trying too hard, or that you're desperate. My attitude is that relationships of any kind are nice to have if I can get them for not too much trouble, but I'm not going to complain if I don't, because I have enough to keep busy and I shouldn't have to try too hard for them. It's either going to come naturally or it won't, and people have a way of holding it against you if it seems you must try too hard, and making it seem like I want it too badly would actually make it less likely to happen.

I have no idea what men or women like, except based on large-scale statistical surveys of people's interests. Unless you're planning on a nationwide hunt for a match based on your interests, they are probably neither helping nor hurting your progress much.

Nature may takes its course, but probably not when or how you'd like. Many people told me college would be better, and it was in some ways, and wasn't in others. I didn't do well with women in high school, college, my first graduate school, second graduate school, or since.

Once cliched observation is that the most interesting thing to people is themselves. I don't know if this idea is valid or can be used productively, but it does seem consistent with my observations of people.

I have, in fact it seems to happen very frequently. I suppose it depends on what you mean by "factor"; I hardly think that people just ask each-other what their hobbies are and then decide they're attracted to each-other. But a common interest, at the very least, forms a sort of stepping stone into friendship or something more in that people at least have a basis for making conversation.

I wouldn't hold everything out for college, either. I felt like that in the last year of secondary school, but in the end I was disappointed. It might be better, but it might not; looking back, I think I had more missed opportunities in secondary school than in college. That may have something to do with my being in a class with many more men than women, and never really leaving the social groups created by the class.

In courses in the areas of mathematics (my specialty), physics, computer science and engineering you can expect the great majority of the students to be male. The liberal arts courses generally have more women than men, but one where I found it more obviously the case than usual is psychology. I imagine art-type courses may be female-dominated as well.

Just to clarify two things from my original post: Since most of you mentioned that most girls aren't into sports, I'd like to mention that I tend(ed) to flirt with/hit on my school's more athletic girls, so I do try to find ones who are most likely into sports. Second of all, after discussing the post with my mom, she recommended that if I were to put more emphasis on a particular interest, it should be musical tastes, so if there's any advice on that, thanks! In addition, I forgot to mention that I have an EXTREMELY diverse taste in movies.

Just to clarify two things from my original post: Since most of you mentioned that most girls aren't into sports, I'd like to mention that I tend(ed) to flirt with/hit on my school's more athletic girls, so I do try to find ones who are most likely into sports. Second of all, after discussing the post with my mom, she recommended that if I were to put more emphasis on a particular interest, it should be musical tastes, so if there's any advice on that, thanks! In addition, I forgot to mention that I have an EXTREMELY diverse taste in movies.

Hrmph, i may come across as harsh, but you seem to be putting a lot of energy into this =.= Is it really worth it in the end? =/ You're still young and so are a few of us (xcept the ones in their thirties, that's when you start to worry) so i wouldn't give it much thought -.- But then again, i'm just being ultra patient... <.<

I've always believed shared interests would be a solid advantage. At least, it would help with meeting women. My problem is that my interests aren't conducive at all to meeting women. I go to a board game shop to hang out and play/check out new games. Only guys go there. I go to a card/hobby shop to buy/trade/play Magic the Gathering. You guessed it, only guys show up there too. I go to my fishing club, some guys bring their wives, but that's it. When I go fishing, only other guys, before I had a job that killed my evenings, I practiced martial arts. Guess what? Only guys there too.