Getting past this barrier

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I'm diagnosed with Aspergers and PDD, and that has been a big barrier to me in the dating scene. I just made a blog about it, so check it out if you want more info on it.

I'm just afraid to approach women and talk to them. I'm also unsure of where to go to meet them. I'm no longer in school and unemployed. I tried online dating and never got any response.

I just hope that me being unemployed isn't a turn off, but I also don't want a girl to like me just because of what job I work at or how much money I make, If she is that selective then she probably isn't worth my time.

What should I do to overcome this barrier? Check out my blog for more info on this subject about how autism affects me in the dating world.

tbh it probably depends on WHY you are unemployed. It likely is a turn off for a lot of women, possibly even most (at least past a certain age). But that doesn't mean that they're overly-concerned about what job you have, they just wouldn't want someone who doesn't even have a job at all

Are you currently looking for work? If so then that will make it less of a deal breaker I think

I've been laid off, and yes I'm actively searching for work. I've went back to school to try and learn more stuff while being unemployed. Now I'm trying to return to work. The economy just doesn't do me any favors to help me find work.

I don't think it should be a big problem for you then. Hopefully not anyway

and good luck with ttrying to find a new job

ok thanks. But the main point of the topic wasn't about me being unemployed.

I am in a similar situation. You are actually ahead of me in the aspect that you have a four-year degree and I have a two-year degree. The truth is, it is a lot easier to meet women in college. They are far more abundant, and it is easier to use school as a starter topic. Out here, in adult-land, women are harder to come by. And, yes, online dating sucks. I have learned to avoid it, for I find it very ineffective.

I guess you can try joining some clubs or something. Maybe, there is a club at your college that they might let you attend despite that you've graduated. You need to be where the women are.

If you have friends, have them set you up with some other singles. That's how they did it in the old days I hear.

In my experience meeting a girl through friends actually takes more social skills and effort than meeting a "new" woman, i.e. the one that has no direct connection to your friends. Whenever I showed romantic interests in girls my friends knew (and I made sure the girls were single), none of them ever liked me. But "new" women showed romantic interest back at least twice, with only a usual amount of effort on my part.

Case in point: at one party, when I tried to dance with the girls my friends knew, they either said no or danced while standing three feet away without as much as holding hands. But when I asked a "new" girl to dance, she danced with me up close, rubbed her hair against me a little bit, and held my hands. (It's probably important to note that we were doing a Latin dance, and she was Hispanic, and their culture sees physical contact as less of a big deal than Europeans/North Americans.)

Online dating is a mixed bag. My biggest problem isn't so much lack of interest, but time wasters. It's the women who show interest in you, then it becomes clear that they're only looking for a pen pal. And when you tell them you can't keep up the pen pal thing forever and would like to meet sooner rather than later, they get offended, but honestly, I don't care.

^ This, like this girl i was taking too in the last two weeks. We really connected then she just stopped, no replies no nothing. Even though she has been online and viewing profiles!

Nice

I know this is going to be difficult to accept, because most people hold themselves to high standards with respect to employment, but at 24, you don't really need to worry that you don't have a job yet, with respect to dating, because your potential dating pool contains a large number of girls who aren't established in life yet either. It's still acceptable, and even attractive, for someone your age to still be "finding themselves" in life. Just try to find yourself before you are 27.

There are advantages to not having a 9-5 job commitment when you are young, and that is namely, it's a lot easier to take off and do things with a girlfriend as long as you have some money. If you worked at some hourly wage job, you usually have fairly dynamic working hours or days off, and can even request particular days off.

If you get asked what you do for a living, you can say something like "Well I just finished college but I might apply to graduate school," or "I finished college and I'm just taking some time off right now." You can even say "I finished college and I haven't found a job yet." At your age, that is perfectly acceptable. It's even fine to a lot of women your age, or a little older who have careers because, much like older guys want younger women because it makes them feel young, older (I mean 3 or 4 years) when they date younger guys, want something that makes them feel young, and it's usually an unestablished guy.

The important thing is that they see you have potential and no intention of stagnating in life.

As for talking to women, you can just practice by making some type of neutral, casual comments when you're out and about, like at the market, for example. I was buying artichokes once and a guy asked me "How do you cook those things?"

yes! very good point! and especially so within the context of AS

because people like many on wrongplanet will misinterpret social signals, opportunities of finding relationships may dissapear as one fails to observe these signs.
but if you have friends who can point out who's fond of you, this will cut out the middleman