A Great Afternoon

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Was invited to a party by some people I run with. Went and had a good time and made a lot of efforts to walk around and chat with people. Met a girl who seemed very interesting, and does camera and film work like me!

Best of all, a girl who dumped me in the past showed up. However, I focused on having a great time, chatting with other people, smiling and all that, and made it clear how over her I was, and how little I cared about her. Not to mention she's gotten a bit fatter since I saw her last...she used to be a fantastic runner, so this filled me with a great deal of joy. She was a jerk for dumping me, but in hindsight I'm glad she did, and spared me from spending my life with a mediocrity! I much more enjoy being single, enjoying being by myself, and just socializing without worrying what will happen. Because I no longer care about dating, simply meeting and being with people. I'm done compromising, or reducing myself and spending money trying to get some girl to date me. From now on, a girl's gotta meet my standard, or she can hit the road.

Today was a great surge of relief, like the rest of my life beginning free from the influence of all others. I am in CONTROL, and damned if I ever give it up again.

Well, three cheers for freedom and autonomy! Glad you're feeling on the upswing. It seems like a shame to feel good that your ex has gained weight, but I think it's a pretty human response when running into someone who has hurt you.

Yeah, but f**k a person who dumps somebody, y'know. b***h could@'t even be straight with me. Had to play games about why she wasn't returning calls. Seeing her all festively plump made me realise I hadn't missed an opportunity so much as dodged a bullet. I won't have my partner letting herself go, just as I will keep fit for my partner. It says you care, and don't take their love for granted.

Yeah, but f**k a person who dumps somebody, y'know. b***h could@'t even be straight with me. Had to play games about why she wasn't returning calls. Seeing her all festively plump made me realise I hadn't missed an opportunity so much as dodged a bullet. I won't have my partner letting herself go, just as I will keep fit for my partner. It says you care, and don't take their love for granted.

You gotta have standards, and find those who share them. You sound a little bitter, though, which is normal. When that too fades, it's an even better feeling. The ability to be in the same room as a loathed ex and feel no malice is true freedom! I'm attempting autonomy myself; my record for going without female attention is a month. Maybe i'll break the cycle too.

you're clearly 100% over her

Haha.

Definitely. The minute I saw her, I thought, "Wow, thank God I didn't end up with her. I can do better."

I´m sorry to point this out but I believe this was sarcasm(hence the couple of replies with smileys).

As someone else mentioned you sound bitter(not that theres anything wrong with it) but you will eventually get over her once you stop thinking about her and how bitchy she was.

Have you considered trying to meet people from a different social circle for a while?.On my experience not seeing someone is one of the best ways to eventually forget about them/accept that you just werent meant to be together.

'Festively lump' sounds alluring

+1

Why do people feel that fat or plump people are not as worthy of being a good lover as thin people? Why would someone who gained some weight suddenly be beneath you for that reason alone? I congratulate you for your emancipation from the bitchy, lying ex-girlfriend who dumped you and I can understand feeling joy at her misfortune. Yet at the same time I find the comment oddly fat-phobic and unpalatable.

I'm not fat-phobic, because that would suggest I have a fear of or am repulsed by fat people. Quite the contrary. Fatness does not bother be in and of itself. What bothers me is what is says about that person.

Fat is not skin color or sexual orientation, which are adaptive traits of evolution or a combination of genetic traits. Fat is not a (positive) evolutionary trait. Fat is not a natural trait. While I'm sure there are genetic predispositions to being overweight, overweight in and of itself is not what I regard a disorder, so much as a failure of will. Whether you have high or low metabolism, have a propensity to store fat or burn it, you cannot get around the inexorable mathematics that weight is a function of caloric input minus caloric output. You burn more than you take in, you lose weight, you take in more than you burn, you put it on. Simple as that.

I used to be a big chubby and you know what I did? I took up running, and slimmed down. I watch what I eat, and monitor the kinds of things I intake, and when. I do not accept that I'm somehow predestined to be fat or thin, rather that I have the power to control it. It takes hard work, determination, but it is possible.

And so when I see a fat person, especially someone who was once thin but now fat, I see many things beyond simple girth. I see a person who has given up in a way, who is no longer maintaining them self.

I have to have someone who is active, and enjoys the outdoors as I do, and you won't get this with a fat person. I can't waste my time with someone who gets out of breath walking up stairs, when I run 10 milers in 60 minutes flat.

I want someone who is focused on their work, not thinking about that next Big Mac. I want someone who wants to be sexy for me, just as I would do my best to be sexy for that person. To many people take marriage to mean they can let themselves go, and if I ever find that girl willing to marry me, I'm gonna do my damndest to be the best mate to her.

And ultimately, I want someone who will live a long happy life with me. And with a fat person, even if they are somewhat active, are simply at a greater risk for all kinds of health problems. I don't want to bury a spouse at 50.

And to those pointing out the sarcasm, I detected it too. I'm that big a f*****g clueless Aspie. But it was true, because I'm over her. Of course I'll always be bitter over how it ended, because she seemed to me a good person, and I had so much to offer her, and I wasn't f*****g good enough. Well, now time has passed, and she's not f*****g good enough for me. If she asked me out, or said, she made a mistake and wanted to date me, I'd say, "Hell no, you had your shot and blew it." My work is my life now, and while I hope to find someone, I'm no longer letting some imaginary girl out there cost me sleep. If I find her I find her, and great. If not, that's great too. I'm trying to live my life on my own terms, and finding happiness in myself. I'm trying to learn to love myself, and realize that I shouldn't have to lower my standards to zero. I have worth, I have merit, and soon people will see how good I can be, when I've made my masterpiece. I believe I am worth it, and my concerns now are not if I meet the other girl's standards, but if SHE meets MINE.

oh, ok... you're not fat-phobic, you just don't respect fat people. glad we got that sorted out.

no sarcasm here.

Last edited by hyperlexian on 02 Jun 2011, 4:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.