Being together but living apart?

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My highly NT wife and I have been on a rocky road since we got married 9 years ago. Finding ourselves consistently failing to communicate despite having a huge amount in common, we eventually (following her reading a lot of books) settled on AS as an explanation for my not getting her style of communication (and vice versa). Having had couples counselling for a year with a very good and AS-experienced counsellor, we now want to try re-inventing our relationship. If the conventional expectations are at odds with your reality, then I guess it's time to start ignoring those expectations - and we're wondering about the possibility of changing how we live. Perhaps having separate rooms as private spaces at first, but then maybe renting a flat/apartment alongside our house. As we have two children, aged 10 and 8, this obviously presents all kinds of practical and emotional difficulties.

Anyone have experience of trying these kinds of unconventional living arrangements? What worked and what didn't?

I think experiments in living are to be encouraged. We pay lip service to the idea that a 'one size fits all' arrangement is absurd, only to end up with the idea that three or four options will cover all the nuances.

Separate rooms, certainly. In the past nigh on 13 years, Mrs Hopper and I have slept in the same bed/room maybe six times. It's weird at first, but now I wouldn't want to share with anyone.

I don't much care for being with someone and living apart...in fact that is the only thing I could complain about in my current relationship is we don't live together, so we end up missing each other quite a bit whenever we end up spending a few days apart without seeing each other.

But to each their own, I certainly have heard of couples who prefer to have more space more often..and will have separate rooms or separate beds, so its certainly not unheard of.

I like the idea of trying separate rooms for awhile. Me & my girlfriend are living together but we have a two bedroom place. We sleep together but my personal stuff is in the smaller bedroom. She goes to her room when she wants to be alone & I spend time in my room.