Impossible relationship?

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Hi everyone.

I'm a neurotypical, and I fell in love with an aspergirl. I don't know what to do about it. The relationship pretty much just ended because I couldn't keep my cool and keep my life going properly. That was mainly why I couldn't keep my cool. I was letting my life fall completely apart.

I finally just got too angry. I may have an emotional dependency problem myself. I'm going to see a psych about it.

I was so stressed out all the time because she's kind of an emotionally needy person inside a relationship. I think she was neglected by her mother somewhat.

I'm an emotionally intense person. I'm also extremely religious. I'm a devout and traditional Roman Catholic. She believes in God, and is kind of a transcendentalist, not exactly a Christian per se.

She's attracted to Eastern Catholicism, but I think her primary problem with the Church is the idea of submitting one's will to an authority represented by faulty humans.

So there's been lots of problems, and I made it worse by falling in love head over heels and going waaay overboard -- moving in with her family and odd things like that.

We still love each other, but I'm not sure we could ever be in a marriage. It's sad, though. I'm trying to let go, but I don't really want to; yet nothing seems to be working out positively, and both our families (particularly my own) have suffered enormously from the relationship. So, I've just given it over to God.

But I'd kind of like to hear from some people on here.

Thanks.

I'm by no means qualified to answer this but still have an opinion. Also it's sad to see this go with no responces, you have a problem needing a solution. Hopefully qualified people see this.

Anyway it sounds like you are trying to hard to make something that won't work, work. It's hurting a lot of people so I would say as hard as it is break up. Again not qualified, just saying my opinion and getting this popularity so you get real help.

Aspie can't be traditionnal roman catholic. We don't care about dogma and we are very logic. We can be christian. I'm roman catholic but liberal. I like meditation (John Main) but I can't pray a personnal God. I like to be at mass but I don't understand the symbolic. I never listen to the preach... I meditate looking some details in the wall, paint, etc. And yes, aspie don't like autority. We don't want (or need) people to tell us what to believe or think.

This is where religion falls flat on its arse!

Instead of bringing man together, it pulls them apart.

This is not what god would want....

God is not religion and religion is man made (ie man's interpretation of what he thinks god is).

I believe in a god, but I don't believe in religion.

My advice? Love and accept each other as human beings first and foremost regardless of individual religious beliefs.

bumble,

You don't understand. These are not beliefs for me. This is reality. I'm serious. I do not separate myself from my religion in my mind.

Following Christ doesn't work that way. You either follow Him and the teaching of His Apostles, or you don't. There's no middle ground here.

To everyone:

We broke up. And I only realized after letting her go just how impossible this relationship was. Whether she knew it or not, she was emotionally abusing me. Apparently, I have a highly codependent personality (for which I am now going to seek professional help regarding), so I was in denial the entire time. She is one of the most controlling and narcissistic people I've ever met. She does not know this about herself, though, and she does not even realize that the way she can be in a relationship just IS that way to the guy, whatever her actual reasons for acting how she does. I don't blame her at all.

But I felt like a slave, and now I feel so free! It's really kind of eerie sometimes. I should never have gone after her, and I should have broken up at the first sign of incompatibility. But I tried to make it work for seven months and hurt a lot of people in the process, including her. I really think the Devil was pushing me from behind in some cases, and I just wouldn't stop and say "Hold on a minute! Something's not right here!"

But we're at peace now letting go of each other. She prefers to be free anyway.

Thanks for the comments everyone!

I lean toward being more of a Baptist, but not exactly. I just pray and live a good life- I don't attend church.

You should definitely move on if religion is that important to you. Find someone who also shares your same beliefs and values, otherwise, once you do have kids or whatever, there won't be conflicts in that area at least. Can cause a lot of problems.

You're better off knowing this now than later, right? Will save you a lot of grief.

Good luck!

All I can say is: When you feel as though you are trapped, or oppressed, or at least not free in a relationship, then it's probably a bad thing. Relationships are good when the people are both free from the obligation of 'needing' to stay with each other because they're in a relationship, and instead they stay together because they both -want- to, because they are assured that their partner won't cheat or abuse them or whatever because they just believe it and do the same. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right, but... The relationship does sound rather bad after you described her narcissism.

I am not religious, but I can still say this, because you are: God will assure you happiness if you follow His path, and yet you cannot know what His path is; so you must determine that yourself while thinking of goodness. And if you feel as though God is not giving you happiness, then know that your heart is not fully embracing God, for happiness is founded in faith, selflessness, and passion. That is what I believe, that last one: Faith (Of any kind), selflessness, and passion.

Let God give you the power to live your life happily, and you shall.

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