Apparently people flirted with me!

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I always knew that flirting is difficult to pick up on, but I had no idea that anyone would actually do that to me. See, looking on here made me wonder what "flirting" is anyway, so I looked it up online, and after consulting with a friend I discovered that people have actually flirted with me...and I totally blew it!

An example: One of the things of flirting is making eye contact with someone and then looking away, and then looking back. I've noticed people doing this several times, but I always thought they were embarrassed that I caught them accidentally staring at me, so just to mess with them I would stare back without looking away so that when they looked back they would get startled. I was amusing myself very much because I didn't know these people and I didn't know they were trying to flirt with me, but now...it could be everywhere!

Another thing you must know is that I'm not attractive--at all. I've only ever had one relationship, and it ended terribly. I didn't expect anyone to ever want to flirt with me, especially not in that location, but it just goes to show that people may be flirting with all of us without us knowing!

Also, I thought I'd share the links I found about what flirting is because they were helpful and fascinating to me and they may help you as well.

http://www.blifaloo.com/info/flirting-body-language.php
http://health.howstuffworks.com/relatio ... nguage.htm
http://www.wikihow.com/Read-Women's-Bod ... r-Flirting
http://suite101.com/article/10-signs-of-flirting-a43448

(Warning: a lot of the things we've been told to do to be friendly, like making eye contact and asking questions, are also considered flirting!)

Hmm, it is possible it was flirting, or it was just someone being nervous or friendly or something else.

It is difficult to categorise flirting with just a few examples.

Touching, smiling, laughing at unfunny jokes, is definitely flirting. While avoiding eye contact intermittently is quite common in every day conversations.

Also, asking questions is not flirting. It can be. But usually people are just nice and ask questions they feel like they need to ask.

Yes, it is very difficult! This is another one of those things that comes up a lot when I talk to my neurotypical friends about social skills--there really are things they just "know" and things that have "fine lines" that are difficult to explain. Last night, one person spent 2.5 hours explaining to me flirting, dating, and what all that entails, and I think some of the time she had trouble, because all these vague things like "a different level of intimacy" and "emotional openness" need to be explained to me.

I seem to always pick up on people flirting which makes me doubt my various professional diagnosis of aspergers(although there is some reason I have no friends or gf's)
anyway this girl I see every weekend at costco(she works there) was flirting with time the other day. She asked me if I thought she was cute and if I go for girls her height. I came in the next day and she said 'm single and told me she was in the vr the night after I had come in originally. I could tell this was going to lead to her telling about how her bf beat her and her expecting me to care and ask her out) As cold as it sounds I didn't care too much and wasn't attracted to her. I do think it's screwed up though for guys to beat girls(although if a girl hits a guy I dont believe in that no hitting girls rule).

anyway my point is that only girls with boyfriends and ugly girls or a combination of the who flirt with me...I have a nice Latino girl who flirts with me but has a bf which sucks lol.

Yeah apparently women flicking their hair also means they want to get your attention, perhaps a sign that you must engage in this social flirting game.

to be fair it can also mean "ack hair keeps getting stuck in lipgloss"

I think it's utterly sad when they do that, really.

Yeah, I didn't even know to look for that until I read those websites. I thought it was just a way to get hair to stop bothering them! But I read that the females will subconsciously expose their necks when they're flirting, so if they have long hair it makes sense that they would be flicking their hair because it shows the necks when they move it.

it can be indicate something, but it can also not

I don't find memorized factoids or rules about these things to be helpful, too east to zoom in on one potentially meaningless thing and miss a lot of context

To be honest I never noticed this, my ex-wife was the one to notice this. And she would start laughing and saying, oh look that women over there is trying to impress someone. I was totally oblivious to what was happening around me.

Ha! Yes, that's what my NT informant told me! Recently, someone actually told me he was trying to flirt with me because I wasn't picking up on it. It's weird; I've always seen myself as sort of...outside of that? Like there was one of those "unwritten rules" everyone keeps talking about that said people don't flirt with me.


It's true about not memorizing the "factoids" and zooming in on small details without context; especially since we already have a tendency to do that. But we also must realize that those details are actually there. It's another dilemma, I guess.

Yeah, I mention before how I was getting plenty of attention and never realized it until it was too late. I must have come across as cold and disinterested and I don't even want to know how many chances I blew in the past. Even my GF, who is brutally honest and direct told me how she thought I wasn't into her because I missed all the hints from her. She only 'got' it when I admitted I am oblivious to social cues and that's likely why I am single. Mercifully she's very open about her intentions!

Having said that, I've also had the opposite problem. I read up on flirting and thought I understood it and two women showed all the signs. Without repeating what I've said it the past, both girls pretty much shot me down instantly like I was some kind of pervert or creep when all I did was flirt back in a non-sexual way. It's possible I was a little too strong but it was obvious ANY attention was not welcome.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd3-1tcOthg[/youtube]