Why are men so intimidated by smart women?

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I've just never understood this, and maybe a few guys here know the answer. I've always been considered one of the "smart kids" since I was quite young. The way I matured was a bit senseless, because I knew the alphabet and how to count before turning two, while I didn't potty train or socialize until age four. As I got older, I went to college and joined a research team, before having a licence or a boyfriend. I guess I never had a normal adolescence because I was an early bloomer academically. Most people who know me consider me as one of those weird smart kids, and a part of me always feels like I'm some freak because I never had the experience of normal adolescence. Others are impressed by what I've done academically, but they don't understand how I sometimes wish I could have an easier time relating to others.

Another major issue with this, is that I think it has impacted my dating life a bit. Guys that I talk to seem impressed by me starting college early and such, but also seem intimidated by it as well, knowing that I should still be a senior in high school. What do guys find intimidating about smart women? I even have some very smart female friends who have the same problem. I'm not intimidated by smart men. What's the difference? I never want to act like I'm stupid or more submissive just for the sake of dating. I want to seem smart and in control because that's my personality, and I don't ever want to change it. I like who I am, even though it has caused me both success and difficulties.

Is it just society standards that causes this problem? Men have tons of smart people to look up to while most female "role models" only tend on looking pretty. Where are more intelligent female role models at? I can only think of a few. Girls are expected to follow all of these ridiculous standards, and of lot of young girls fall prey to them, and its always sad to see. I feel lucky, that I'm not going through the same insecurities that I did as an early teen. It also bothers me that girls it's not socially accepted for women to ask men out. I don't think that's fair to men, considering that asking someone out out takes a lot of nerve. Girls should have to do more than sit and look pretty. It seems like if I try to take charge of something or ask someone out, it makes me seem less female. I still have two X chromosomes, don't I? Guys shouldn't be afraid of me, just because I don't want to act like other girls. Girls can be smart too. Darn gender roles, which I think are a bunch of hogwash. It is 2012, not 1940.

Men are not intimidated by smart women. Most of the popular and attractive girls you see in college and high school are above average in intelligence.

There are likely other factors than your intelligence that intimidate men.

Most of the smart women I've dated were very intelligent indeed, but almost all of them had this annoying habit of arriving at the wrong conclusions in such a reasoning way that they could not be convinced otherwise. Also, almost without exception, the smart women I've dated all seemed to be very insecure in their relationships.

Thus, we have women who will ... accuse their boyfriends of cheating on them just because their boyfriends smiled at a waitress ... accuse their boyfriends of being disrespectful just because their boyfriends raised their voices to be heard over the ambient noise ... accuse their boyfriends of not loving them just because their boyfriends know a better way to get something done ... get all bent out of shape because their boyfriends broke just one of many, many rules that smart women seem to lay down as conditions for their love ... and so on ...

It's not that we're intimidated, it's just that "un-smart" women seem easier to get along with.

I'm sure that women have similar complaints about men, as well.

Not sure if I can really speak for anyone else, but I've certainly never felt this way myself. I might feel embarrassed if someone seems to be smarter than me, but that's more so because I already think I'm not too bright and it doesn't really have anything to do with women or dating for me. I suppose it could just be gender roles, like you suggested, or it could be low self esteem, similar to my case.

But then, for me, it's hard to gauge a person's overall intelligence. Sure there's practical and logical stuff you can learn in school, but then there's emotional intelligence and maturity. More than a few years ago I had this one friend who I'd sent countless messages back and forth to over youtube. She couldn't spell and her grammar was pretty bad(and somehow I still understood it all), and yet she seemed to have a lot more wisdom than a lot of people I've met on the opposite end of the scale.

That said, you can't lump people together like that, and I guess I'm getting a bit far from the original topic. I guess all you can really do is find like minded people who won't feel so threatened by you or your intelligence; you're not going to be able to convince the more close minded no matter what you do.

Intelligence is one thing, but many highly intelligent women I met were way too opinionated. For instance, if I tell them something personal it's an inappropriate response to give a lecture on why I did what I did and what was wrong with it. I like smart and sweet, but not a smartass who acts up like a drill sergeant on crack.

There's also the tendency for intelligent women (and men, too) to describe a better way of getting something done long after the task is completed.

For instance, one ex-girlfriend would say "Whatever you decide" whenever I asked how how she wanted something done. Then I'd go ahead and get the job done (cooking supper, planting a garden, choosing a new suit, et cetera). When I'd show her the results of my efforts, she'd point out everything she thought was wrong, so that I could "... do better the next time". The trouble with her was that every "next time" was just another opportunity for her to demonstrate how she was so intelligent that she deserved nothing less than perfection.

But I like intelligent women! I like not having to "dumb down" to explain movie plots, news reports, and sit-com humor. I like not having to point out that spending $200 dollars on a $400 item does not mean that she's saved $200 -- spending $200 is $200 spent, not saved. I like being able to carry on a conversation on practically any topic without having to first submit a lexicon of terms.

Only douchebags are intimidated by smart women.

And what exactly makes someone appear smart?

i don't think men in general are intimidated by smart women. many men prefer the company of a smart woman, just like many women prefer the company of a smart man. i am sure there are some people that are bothered about it, and others that just don't care either way. i guess i either don't notice the men who might be intimidated by smart women, or else i am not smart enough to scare them away!

Intimidated? No way!

Fed up with their mind games? Of course!

^^^i'm pretty sure that mind games are not only in the arsenal of intelligent men and women.

I saw a video on youtube about smart,succesful women unable to find a man.
I don't know why so many men are ''afraid'' of smart women.

no, just no. Men are not intimidated by smart women, unless all they want is to get in your pants. If men aren't falling for you, it's not because their afraid that you're a genius. Just be honest with yourself and maybe you will figure out why, but this is a bit insulting to men to assume we want less intelligent mates.

Not intimidated by smart women. But there are a lot of highly intelligent people out there who seem to define themselves by that one trait. They are the same kind of people who feel a constant need to prove their intelligence to everyone around them. That gets old pretty quick.

It's not a problem of smart women.

Those who love to say they're smart are usually too full of themselves and have a superiority complex, self-proclaimed smarts (whether fairly or unfairly) usually treat (even subconsciously) their partners as inferiors and yes, men don't like to be treated like this.

My mom's IQ (above 150 - academically was overachiever) is significantly higher than my dad's (mainstream average - academically underachiever) but that was never a problem nor caused a complex to any party.