Girls that contradict themselves

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SectorStar
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29 Dec 2012, 3:36 pm

So I've been on POF for a few years with little success, I don't even know why I still get on it somedays, maybe its the blind hope that I'll one day find someone out there that probably doesn't exist and can handle my high functioning autistic self. The beginning of this month a rather attractive 20 year old messaged me. That in itself was a pretty big deal to me as I think I've only had like 2 or 3 girls EVER message me first on there.

We started talking a little bit and agreed to hang out. She was the first girl I've hung out with in almost a year now. After spending an hour getting lost trying to find her house out in the country we hung out for a couple hours in the mall and then ate somewhere together and got to talk a lot. She had to bring her 11 month year old kid with her which was kinda awkward, but considering that when you hit my age its rare to find people that don't have kids already, I guess I let it go.

So I took her home, she hugged me good bye first on her own, which that in itself was also a big deal as girls seldom ever do that to me. Then I drove home and we exchanged some more messages on facebook and she said she'd like to hang with me real soon again, maybe even the next week on my days off is possible.

On what woulda been my days off I ended up getting called into work so we couldn't hang, I told her maybe the following week we could again, but my message on facebook never got read. By no means was I like stalking her or anything, but for those that don't know, facebook tells you if the person read your message or not, even tells you what time they did it. I figured she was maybe just busy taking care of her kid and let it go. A few days later I come home from work, see that she had posted some status updates and pictures on facebook, but still didn't read my message. This continued on for a week. I decided to leave a "merry christmas!" message on xmas day to see if I'd get anything back and as a way saying like "hey I still exist!". Same story as before, message still not read, but still had time to post pictures and stuff on facebook.

3 days ago I see she posts a status message "If someone is wanting to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort too" or something amongst those lines. God, talk about irony! Here I was trying to make an effort to hang out or something basic and be a part of her life when it was HER who wasn't making an effort to see that. Since then I gave up with trying to contact her and moved on.



ShamelessGit
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29 Dec 2012, 3:42 pm

If your message was short, she probably read it without actually opening the message. Also, she probably expected you to make more effort just because you're a guy.

Also, maybe she wasn't talking about you in her post.

I would have tried a little harder before giving up, but that's just me.



SectorStar
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29 Dec 2012, 3:48 pm

ShamelessGit wrote:
If your message was short, she probably read it without actually opening the message. Also, she probably expected you to make more effort just because you're a guy.

Also, maybe she wasn't talking about you in her post.

I would have tried a little harder before giving up, but that's just me.


I'm aware that you can see "part" of your message in the "preview" area so to say, however our messages we're sending were defiantly not something you could read the whole thing all of in just a sentence or two.

And I don't think it was specifically about me either, just in general. I just thought it was rather ironic when I thought about my current situation.

And maybe so, but I figure if after 4 weeks you have enough time to post pictures and status messages on facebook but not enough time to read messages, then that person is probably not worth pursuing,



fossil_n
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29 Dec 2012, 6:57 pm

Depending on her Facebook settings she may not have gotten a notification that she had a message? I don't know why she would have it set that way, but in my experience, Facebook messages can be a little bit unreliable in that the recipient may not realize that they have a message, even if they are actively using Facebook.



SectorStar
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29 Dec 2012, 11:21 pm

fossil_n wrote:
Depending on her Facebook settings she may not have gotten a notification that she had a message? I don't know why she would have it set that way, but in my experience, Facebook messages can be a little bit unreliable in that the recipient may not realize that they have a message, even if they are actively using Facebook.


I kinda doubt that honestly considering she had no problem before replying in a timely manner.



fossil_n
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30 Dec 2012, 12:53 am

Ah, ok, I didn't notice you said you had contacted her on FB before. Sorry.

I really have no relationship experience, but maybe she wanted you to call her?? That is assuming she gave you her #, and I empathize if you did have the number and didn't want to call, because I hate talking on the phone.

You are probably better off having moved on, since her lack of response, and subsequent status seems like she is trying to play some sort of 'hard to get' chase game. I don't understand why people do that.



SectorStar
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30 Dec 2012, 1:19 am

fossil_n wrote:
Ah, ok, I didn't notice you said you had contacted her on FB before. Sorry.

I really have no relationship experience, but maybe she wanted you to call her?? That is assuming she gave you her #, and I empathize if you did have the number and didn't want to call, because I hate talking on the phone.

You are probably better off having moved on, since her lack of response, and subsequent status seems like she is trying to play some sort of 'hard to get' chase game. I don't understand why people do that.


Around the time of meeting her and going to meet her to hang out she had apparently dropped her cell phone in water or something and it didn't work so I was having to call her house phone that day to get a hold of her when I got lost (she lives with her parents). I get off work late at night (10:30 PM or after) So I'm not sure her parents may appreciate the phone ringing that late if they were trying to sleep, or maybe she may not even like it with a sleeping child. But I can't even ask the question if its ok if my messages are never read for it to be answered <_<

I've played these games before with girls where they can respond to a message sent on facebook within mins of sending it to them and then all the sudden can be on it every day ( I know this based on how many status messages and photos they post a day) but apparently can't notice any messages sent to them.



MacDragard
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30 Dec 2012, 2:29 am

Why are you talking to her on Facebook? If you want to hang out, don't you have her phone number?



SectorStar
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30 Dec 2012, 3:29 am

MacDragard wrote:
Why are you talking to her on Facebook? If you want to hang out, don't you have her phone number?


I believe I just stated the reasons why in my previous post.....



MacDragard
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30 Dec 2012, 4:24 am

SectorStar wrote:
MacDragard wrote:
Why are you talking to her on Facebook? If you want to hang out, don't you have her phone number?


I believe I just stated the reasons why in my previous post.....


Ok, didn't see that at first, but still...I seriously doubt she's going to go very long without a cell phone. Second, couldn't you have just waited the next day to talk to her?



SectorStar
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30 Dec 2012, 4:44 am

MacDragard wrote:
SectorStar wrote:
MacDragard wrote:
Why are you talking to her on Facebook? If you want to hang out, don't you have her phone number?


I believe I just stated the reasons why in my previous post.....


Ok, didn't see that at first, but still...I seriously doubt she's going to go very long without a cell phone. Second, couldn't you have just waited the next day to talk to her?


As also stated, its been weeks since I sent her messages on facebook that were not read.......



blue_bean
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30 Dec 2012, 5:45 am

This isn't just a thing girls do. This has happened to me a few times with guys I met on dating sites, though it always happened later on after getting to know each other.