Does my girlfriend have aspergers?

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I've made a throwaway account because I find me asking this question to be extremely inappropriate, as I feel as if I am hurting her by doing this. We are both 17. We have been dating for 6 months. Ever since I started dating her I felt as if something was off. I'll start from the beginning.

When she was younger, she was bullied very harshly. People would make fun of her every day. Her parents hate each other and are currently divorced. She visits her father every weekend. From what she told me she has severe ADHD and ADD. She doesn't do very well in school either.

-She is extremely obsessed with japenese anime. Her entire life revolves around it. She tells me she spends hours looking for cosplays (costume roleplaying) and watching anime.
-Every since I started dating her I would ask questions about her, with no response back. For example, I would ask her about her family, life, etc., and she would not ask me about anything back.
-She finds her self to be socially awkward and does not do well when under pressure.
-She have very bad coordination, and is extremely sensitive to sounds and lights, although i think it is from the ADHD medicine she takes.
-She does not tell me how she feels. Once i asked her in all seriousness why she can't find why she doesn't display feelings. She said she doesn't even understand her own feelings.
-She forgets very easily.
-Conversations are led by me. I would talk about normal stuff such as school, and then she would go on about something that happened to her recently at home and would not stop. It doesn't "flow" like a normal conversation would.
-She has immense difficulty in picking up how I feel. If I am feeling off or mad about something, she would poke me and pet my hair without asking why I feel bad.
-One big thing is that I would have to start everything. For example she would not say "I miss you" unless I say "I miss you" first. Same with everything else, such as how was your day, i love you, etc.
-Cannot display emotions at all. If she is mad at her parents, she would not say anything. If she is sad, same thing.

There are many examples of the above happening, in many different situations.

She is a very sweet girl. I want our relationship to work but first I need to know why our communication is so bad. Is it possible that she has aspergers? Thank you!

It's possible. All of the things you describe are Autistic behavioural traits & not really explained by fully by ADD/ADHD.

She would have to learn about it and figure it out for herself.

I highly recommend this book for that:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Complete-Guid ... ny+attwood

Have you mentioned this to her at all? Or is this just something you suspect? You'll be able to learn enough about it to know for yourself whether she is or isn't if you read a few books and pay close attention to her and observe her AS traits.. but, ultimately, she has to know - and has to want to know & accept it - in order for her to figure herself out and then learn to deal with it appropriately. Knowledge is power.. if she is AS, once she knows it she can begin to learn to understand it and control it and generally get along better with the world vs. being confused and not knowing why things tend to just keep going sideways.


As for this:

ADHD medication should improve coordination, not make it worse. I'm not familiar with any ADHD meds that would increase sensory sensitivities to sounds and light, either. Poor coordination is an ADD/ADHD thing, but also an ASD thing. Sensory issues are ASD, not ADD/ADHD.

Also, it's very common to be diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and then later on with ASD as people learn more about themselves and doctors can properly diagnose everything. It's common to have both ADD/ADHD as well as ASD and other co-existing conditions, ie OCD.